Staying alive for a bit

[Floppa]

You guys know any tricks how to stay alive a little longer? I don't want to upset my grandma I am currently living together, she's got noone else and I'm basically her only company and help in day to day life. Mother I am less worried about, she's got a family and I am planning to leave her my flat and some money anyway - my idea of a compensation of sorts. But the thing is, lately I have been thinking about suicide too much, that's unusual for me, I am afraid I'll act someday on an impulse and I don't want to be robbed of control, the exit should not be rushed or made from a place of desperation. So the question is: any mental tricks, perhaps chemical substances that can ensure I live for another year or two?

 

[telekon]

You guys know any tricks how to stay alive a little longer? I don't want to upset my grandma I am currently living together, she's got noone else and I'm basically her only company and help in day to day life. Mother I am less worried about, she's got a family and I am planning to leave her my flat and some money anyway - my idea of a compensation of sorts. But the thing is, lately I have been thinking about suicide too much, that's unusual for me, I am afraid I'll act someday on an impulse and I don't want to be robbed of control, the exit should not be rushed or made from a place of desperation. So the question is: any mental tricks, perhaps chemical substances that can ensure I live for another year or two?

have you ever attempted? my advice for mental tricks is to get busy distracting yourself. start working on a big project or get invested in some video games.

 

[Floppa]

have you ever attempted? my advice for mental tricks is to get busy distracting yourself. start working on a big project or get invested in some video games.

I have, but I was a foolish 15yo boy at the time, didn't really understand the impact of my actions, so now I want to be more careful. Games i've tried, not really helpful, as for big projects - idk, what kind of? Doesn't that require passion or whatever which i think i lack?

 

[telekon]

I have, but I was a foolish 15yo boy at the time, didn't really understand the impact of my actions, so now I want to be more careful. Games i've tried, not really helpful, as for big projects - idk, what kind of? Doesn't that require passion or whatever which i think i lack?

not necessarily. i would ask chatgpt to find out what you're interested in and start a project that will take over a year.

 

[ventiswine]

gacha games usually do it for me but i saw ur reply and that's ok if it takes a bit to find ur own thing.
anime helped me when i was still into that a bit because i would wait each week for a new ep then wait months for a season.
really have anything to look forward to, even if it's phone time in bed while drinking smth nice create a lil nice routine. you will eventually find ur own thing. try new stuff and don't pressure yourself. wishing you the best

 

[selfishmachine]

i am very proud of you for holding on

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Sorry you feel that way

Same here, I use chatgpt to fill my days, sometimes even just learning about new stuff, when nothing else is possible and I have a solid safetyplan to prevent impulsiveness.

 

[NoHorizon]

Is there any sort of event or travel destination you'd love to visit before you die? I recently managed to get a ticket to see a band I love which isn't for a few months which has changed my outlook from "I want to die ASAP" to "I need to hang on for a few months, then I can die". Perhaps booking some sort of bucket list thing might give you a reason you'd want to temporarily live.

 

[58Alice85]

Push through it with sheer willpower?
do pleasant things?
you're only extending the suffering for a little bit it will be gone eventually, keep this in mind

 

[ih34rty0u]

in the same boat right now, i usually rely on benzos and cigarettes to calm me down during mental breakdowns (so almost every day). i also try to talk to as many people online as i can to feel less lonely. sometimes even just fantasizing about suicide without actually doing it feels oddly comforting.

 

[Floppa]

Is there any sort of event or travel destination you'd love to visit before you die? I recently managed to get a ticket to see a band I love which isn't for a few months which has changed my outlook from "I want to die ASAP" to "I need to hang on for a few months, then I can die". Perhaps booking some sort of bucket list thing might give you a reason you'd want to temporarily live.

not really, went to TGS a few weeks ago, but that was work so not like i felt particularly good about the event. Otherwise i'm not very fond of traveling at all, anywhere i've ever gone was with family

in the same boat right now, i usually rely on benzos and cigarettes to calm me down during mental breakdowns (so almost every day). i also try to talk to as many people online as i can to feel less lonely. sometimes even just fantasizing about suicide without actually doing it feels oddly comforting.

hm, maybe i should pick up smoking too, although i did try a few times and found the experience sort of lacking, maybe cigars are better? Who can say, i'll go actually buy one now to see what happens, thank you for the insight

 

[eggsausagerice]

would you like to learn an instrument? recently, i learned you can go down to instrument stores or call them to ask about their rental prices. a store 20 minutes away from me lets you rent a violin for 29 dollars every month, and you can cancel at any time. i'm going to be learning piano instead since that's what i have in the house, but i think that learning how to play an instrument will make me feel proud of myself and like i have a general reason to live. or maybe i'll drop it. i want to do something just for myself. gacha games are also a good suggestion, because they hook you in with daily rewards and being able to interact with other players.

fighting games and chess games rely heavily on focus. some people watch new tv shows or movies. emulating retro games or playing on a modded console (3ds, wii, ps2, switch) can let you play a lot of games for free. i think that having a modded 3ds is really fun because it's my favorite console, but they don't emulate well to pc because of the dual screen. narrative single player video games are easy to sink time into, like disco elysium or silent hill.

 

[Floppa]

would you like to learn an instrument? recently, i learned you can go down to instrument stores or call them to ask about their rental prices. a store 20 minutes away from me lets you rent a violin for 29 dollars every month, and you can cancel at any time. i'm going to be learning piano instead since that's what i have in the house, but i think that learning how to play an instrument will make me feel proud of myself and like i have a general reason to live. or maybe i'll drop it. i want to do something just for myself. gacha games are also a good suggestion, because they hook you in with daily rewards and being able to interact with other players.

fighting games and chess games rely heavily on focus. some people watch new tv shows or movies. emulating retro games or playing on a modded console (3ds, wii, ps2, switch) can let you play a lot of games for free. i think that having a modded 3ds is really fun because it's my favorite console, but they don't emulate well to pc because of the dual screen. narrative single player video games are easy to sink time into, like disco elysium or silent hill.

yeah i learned guitar when shortly after my first attempt cuz that what the shrink told me to do. As for games, sure, but they kinda lose effectiveness after a while is what i noticed, disco elysium being one of them, not that it wasn't good or anything, i just kinda stopped playing after a while but maybe i should go pick it back up, i stopped at the point where you gotta pay the bartender for your room, kim suggests i sell his stuff (um what happened to my text?) and i kinda wanted to earn the money myself, wandered the city for a few hours and then quit. Also there's vallhala bartender cybrepunk action i enjoyed playing but just stopped for no reason, maybe i'll go buy some snacks and dive back into them this evening. Anyway what's up with my text being struck through

 

[eggsausagerice]

Anyway what's up with my text being struck through

you probably accidentally clicked it lol.

i just kinda stopped playing after a while but maybe i should go pick it back up

i picked it up today because i was super bored. it's still a good game. my problem is that i was always trying to min max playing it but i'm supposed to play it blind. you can harass the bartender until he lowers the bill to 30 reál, that's what i did.

 

[Floppa]

you probably accidentally clicked it lol.


i picked it up today because i was super bored. it's still a good game. my problem is that i was always trying to min max playing it but i'm supposed to play it blind. you can harass the bartender until he lowers the bill to 30 reál, that's what i did.

well i guess the minmaxing is only a thing on subsequent playthroughs so i won't worry much. I'm just maxing intelligence although it'd be funny to go strength build and kick that 2m bald dude's arse