TJT
Member
- Aug 21, 2026
- 40
[Trigger warning: Disturbing topics ahead]
When thinking about the ongoing suffering of life, suicide becomes an attractive solution because it is permanent. But at that stage, it's just an idea.
Then as I researched it and looked up gore vids of my intended methods to get an idea of the reality (& pain involved, how to do it, etc) it became clear no death is painless and absolutely no suicide method is a clear "this is what happens every time" scenario. E.g. Lots of mixed reviews on how much pain goes into full hanging. Some say they pass out quickly but then rope breaks and others say they experienced excruciating pain.
Similarly, researching oral shotgun suicides similar story. Sure, high success rate. But only truly 'instant' if you destroy the whole brain stem (or most) of it. As there are 3 sections to the brain stem and if a portion of it survives, you may end up feeling everything. Not so easy to precisely aim for something when you have a gun in your mouth. And if you choose to add in pain killers, well, good luck aiming accurately. Plus, the gas output into your head from the contact shot of a shotgun is more likely to impact your face than your brainstem. Yes, eventually it'll cause brain death and lethal blood loss but suffocating on blood and and initial pain is a more immediate concern imo. And there are lots of disturbing videos and pictures all over the web of gun suicide survivors (including shotgun ones). Saw one of someone's mouth, well, gone and they were in the hospital having survived it.. Let me tell you.. They were definitely conscious and in pain. Truly worst-case scenario.
All in all these descriptions (& proof) that death is never painless has been a deterrent for me.
..But then every time I'm faced with living life instead- I start looking for comfort in suicide again. Present suffering always overrides any future potential suffering. So when someone's depressed and can't stand the idea of continuing life- death seems the better option. But if actively dying and in extreme pain- well, that's the present pain so that's what they'd be trying to escape, and that's why S.I. is so common during a suicide.
Conclusion
Which leads me to more complete understanding in why most suicides occur during periods of extreme psychological distress. The idea of extreme pain no longer stops someone from pursuing it. And these more successful versions of suicide have no chance of 'going back' or changing your mind once you've started.
It also demonstrates why lower risk versions of suicide are so popular (despite having poor success rates).
When thinking about the ongoing suffering of life, suicide becomes an attractive solution because it is permanent. But at that stage, it's just an idea.
Then as I researched it and looked up gore vids of my intended methods to get an idea of the reality (& pain involved, how to do it, etc) it became clear no death is painless and absolutely no suicide method is a clear "this is what happens every time" scenario. E.g. Lots of mixed reviews on how much pain goes into full hanging. Some say they pass out quickly but then rope breaks and others say they experienced excruciating pain.
Similarly, researching oral shotgun suicides similar story. Sure, high success rate. But only truly 'instant' if you destroy the whole brain stem (or most) of it. As there are 3 sections to the brain stem and if a portion of it survives, you may end up feeling everything. Not so easy to precisely aim for something when you have a gun in your mouth. And if you choose to add in pain killers, well, good luck aiming accurately. Plus, the gas output into your head from the contact shot of a shotgun is more likely to impact your face than your brainstem. Yes, eventually it'll cause brain death and lethal blood loss but suffocating on blood and and initial pain is a more immediate concern imo. And there are lots of disturbing videos and pictures all over the web of gun suicide survivors (including shotgun ones). Saw one of someone's mouth, well, gone and they were in the hospital having survived it.. Let me tell you.. They were definitely conscious and in pain. Truly worst-case scenario.
All in all these descriptions (& proof) that death is never painless has been a deterrent for me.
..But then every time I'm faced with living life instead- I start looking for comfort in suicide again. Present suffering always overrides any future potential suffering. So when someone's depressed and can't stand the idea of continuing life- death seems the better option. But if actively dying and in extreme pain- well, that's the present pain so that's what they'd be trying to escape, and that's why S.I. is so common during a suicide.
Conclusion
Which leads me to more complete understanding in why most suicides occur during periods of extreme psychological distress. The idea of extreme pain no longer stops someone from pursuing it. And these more successful versions of suicide have no chance of 'going back' or changing your mind once you've started.
It also demonstrates why lower risk versions of suicide are so popular (despite having poor success rates).