Venting Started cutting

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Cut myself in my arm about 15 times last week, because I feel so bad. Pathetic little cuts, but nevertheless. I just don't feel like myself anymore, feeling so hollow and empty. My brain isn't mine anymore, I've been brainwashed.

 

[lostintheloop]

Cut myself in my arm about 15 times last week, because I feel so bad. Pathetic little cuts, but nevertheless. I just don't feel like myself anymore, feeling so hollow and empty. My brain isn't mine anymore, I've been brainwashed.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad . I really relate to feeling empty and like my brain isnt mine.
Ime, sticking to little cuts is better, it can get addictive and easy to lose control going further.
Did the sh bring you any relief at all ?

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad . I really relate to feeling empty and like my brain isnt mine.
Ime, sticking to little cuts is better, it can get addictive and easy to lose control going further.
Did the sh bring you any relief at all ?

Yes it did/still does. But my husband found out. I scared the shit out of him with the wounds. He doesn't allow me to do it again….so. Maybe go back to my old SH, partial hanging, he won't notice that.

 

[lostintheloop]

Yes it did/still does. But my husband found out. I scared the shit out of him with the wounds. He doesn't allow me to do it again….so. Maybe go back to my old SH, partial hanging, he won't notice that.

I'm glad it at least helped even if obviously not ideal way.
Ah ok that's tough when you have to hide it from someone . I'm sorry it's so shit when you're already struggling then you have to deal with impact on others and negative reactions too

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

I'm glad it at least helped even if obviously not ideal way.
Ah ok that's tough when you have to hide it from someone . I'm sorry it's so shit when you're already struggling then you have to deal with impact on others and negative reactions too

Yes, he was so mad at me for doing it, which makes the urge even bigger. Oh men, I can't live this life, can't live in this world. I just miss the old me so much. They've ruined me and fucked my head up! I'm so full of angre, hate and revenge, it's unbearable.

 

[lostintheloop]

Yes, he was so mad at me for doing it, which makes the urge even bigger. Oh men, I can't live this life, can't live in this world. I just miss the old me so much. They've ruined me and fucked my head up! I'm so full of angre, hate and revenge, it's unbearable.

I've had that before when people seem to think telling you off somehow makes you stop . But like it's punishment enough without people adding to it .
I can hear your pain, it really sounds so overwhelming for you.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Cut myself again yesterday. Does anyone have any tips on hiding it from my husband?