Venting Stagnation + being lonely

[Breadkey]

I dontknow how to begin this buti promised myself that ill work hard at trying to achieve some form of functionality + normalcy but i genuinely Don't have any motivation to do anything at all. Ive became such a terrible person because of it, because im a sloth. Part of me thinks the reason i cnt get myself to work because i dont have privacy ao if my family sees me theyll judge me hard "oh look who started working" comments like that and think "if only i had my own room" but i dont know how much of it is true, maybe it is to a certain extent because i do find myself being productive on the rare occasion my family leaves me alone at the house. I think that maybe ill be more productive if i had friends. I know when i had many online friends i was very productive but i dont know ive been friendless and fully socially isolated for a very long time. I think ive grown depressed or anhedonic im not sure. Going outside doesnt help, i wish i had friends though maybe it would've helped somehow but im not interesting at all or have anything to say ever but i still crave company

 

[Remember]

I feel the same way. I try this or that but it's like I'm going in circles until I decide I don't want to try anymore.

I hope you find the kind of friends you're looking for.