beyondthestars
Hello dear people ❤️
- Mar 14, 2021
- 35
The stages of my life so far:
1) Childhood: Twenty years of living in an abusive, traumatic environment.
2) Adulthood: About two more decades of intense struggle.
(Thanks CPTSD!)
3) Middle age: A couple of years of intensive painful trauma healing.
>>>I am here<<<
4) After 50: Maybe a few years of almost normal functioning.
Is there even anything I want to live for anymore? Is there anything I'd want to do?
5) Likely before 60: Die early because of all the harm done to my body.
Like what's the point? I'm so fucking tired of feeling unwanted, useless, struggling. I never belonged anywhere.
I need some kind, understanding humans in my life. Some real companionship.
Some peace, quietude and nature as well. I just don't have the strength anymore to keep on fighting. My trauma is sabotaging me every step of the way
Damn this generational trauma!
1) Childhood: Twenty years of living in an abusive, traumatic environment.
2) Adulthood: About two more decades of intense struggle.
(Thanks CPTSD!)
3) Middle age: A couple of years of intensive painful trauma healing.
>>>I am here<<<
4) After 50: Maybe a few years of almost normal functioning.
Is there even anything I want to live for anymore? Is there anything I'd want to do?
5) Likely before 60: Die early because of all the harm done to my body.
Like what's the point? I'm so fucking tired of feeling unwanted, useless, struggling. I never belonged anywhere.
I need some kind, understanding humans in my life. Some real companionship.
Some peace, quietude and nature as well. I just don't have the strength anymore to keep on fighting. My trauma is sabotaging me every step of the way
Damn this generational trauma!
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