
neverbeenbetter
Member
- Jul 16, 2022
- 39
there is nothing else to do. something is fundamentally wrong about me.
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Same here. My existence has become so hollow. I also wish I could just just shut my eyes forever. But it takes energy and luck to accomplish that, and I've got neither right now.I do the same thing… I spent the past year just laying on my couch all day long… Hoping that if I can ignore the world maybe it will just go away… Or somehow I will stop functioning and die… All of my motivation has disappeared… I can't even be bother to do laundry or clean the apartment at all so it's just filling with Dust and grime and there's dirty clothes laying around… I don't pay the bills… Only rent … I only leave to go get food… When I'm out in the world I'm like a zombie… I don't respond to any texts or emails really… I know that all my interactions with other people are just bizarre or clearly full of shit… For a while it was nice that people were worried and trying to save me but now it's just a hassle… I wish they were someway I could easily die… But all of these methods are so complicated… You get arrested if you order N… For SN Requires all these other substances… Other methods are so violent… Easiest thing to do it's nothing at all even though it's boring and I know that I can't live forever this way… I'll run out of money pretty soon… I'm the biggest failure of anybody I know … very strange
Fundamentally, there is something wrong with all of us, to some degree. That's why we're here. But, I'd argue, there is much more of a fundamental problem with this world we live in that got us all to this point.there is nothing else to do. something is fundamentally wrong about me.
You just described my life. I keep hoping that one of my partial attempts finally just succeeds.Same here as well and the only thing that breaks through my routine of slowly wasting away are my attempts to hang myself now and then.
Last Friday after another failed partial i was at my last leg and since i had ran out of booze and cigs i couldn't take it anymore and went out to buy some.
I felt awkward with my head covered in red points all over though subtle and as i went about i felt like a robot just functioning.
Same.. its awfulI live in my bed. It's so depressing. I wake up to the same nothingness every day. I wish I could sleep all day, but I hardly sleep at night and can't even nap without taking something. The days seem never ending.
I can relate. I spent so much time laying in bed it's ridiculous. Might as well lay down and die.I do the same thing… I spent the past year just laying on my couch all day long… Hoping that if I can ignore the world maybe it will just go away… Or somehow I will stop functioning and die… All of my motivation has disappeared… I can't even be bother to do laundry or clean the apartment at all so it's just filling with Dust and grime and there's dirty clothes laying around… I don't pay the bills… Only rent … I only leave to go get food… When I'm out in the world I'm like a zombie… I don't respond to any texts or emails really… I know that all my interactions with other people are just bizarre or clearly full of shit… For a while it was nice that people were worried and trying to save me but now it's just a hassle… I wish they were someway I could easily die… But all of these methods are so complicated… You get arrested if you order N… For SN Requires all these other substances… Other methods are so violent… Easiest thing to do it's nothing at all even though it's boring and I know that I can't live forever this way… I'll run out of money pretty soon… I'm the biggest failure of anybody I know … very strange
Are you still feeling this way and living in bed?I live in my bed. It's so depressing. I wake up to the same nothingness every day. I wish I could sleep all day, but I hardly sleep at night and can't even nap without taking something. The days seem never ending.