H

Hunter2005

Experienced
Apr 15, 2023
224
Does anyone feels like their soul just wondering around? Like everything came collapsing down as teen and you just a lost soul wondering around? Because that's how I feel. Like I have no purpose in this world, it's like why am I here?
 
  • Like
Reactions: 54378, reclaimedbynature, escape_from_hell and 3 others
escape_from_hell

escape_from_hell

Specialist
Feb 22, 2024
379
Yes, not only my soul by my physical aspect as well. I have spent literally years physically wandering around: parks, traveling, etc. Travel used to seem fun. Looking back, I see I would literally just wander around areas aimlessly, taking some kind of pleasure in the 'beauty around me' but have anhedonia now so it feels like nothing. More like just being trapped. Have to move legs and arms and pilot some animal body to travel through terrain with various visuals. Internally it's much the same, looking at the thoughts and feelings (mostly despair) of a dull mind.
After not having much genuine interaction with people they also just seem like animated pieces of the otherwise inanimate terrain I wander. Speech and communication itself is bizarre and pointless. Making any statement, you're just sharing observations. "This tastes good." "The sky is gray today, maybe it will rain." "I feel lonely." Used to get some temporary social presence boost from this type of thing but I feel distant now. Just wandering all dimensions, the space, time, and emotions, without possibility of fulfillment.
But when I stop wandering the anxiety and panic and misery intensifies.
Wandering through and witnessing hell.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hunter2005, reclaimedbynature, 54378 and 3 others
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,356
Yep, for over thirty years now. Should've ctb when I sixteen.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hunter2005 and Homo erectus

Similar threads

S
Replies
0
Views
74
Suicide Discussion
sorrymyfault
S
P
Replies
8
Views
213
Offtopic
Pluto
Pluto
Terry A. Davis
Replies
1
Views
80
Offtopic
Pluto
Pluto
SomewhereAlongThe
Replies
7
Views
148
Recovery
The_Hunter
The_Hunter
isolatedl111
Replies
8
Views
171
Suicide Discussion
ThatGuyOverThere
ThatGuyOverThere