NSFW Sorry

[Baka]

I remember when I was a child, I used to play house with this guy
I always liked to be the wife or mother. I forgot what role I was. Whenever it was pretend night, we'd get into my bed and he'd hump me and touch me. I'd keep saying "ok its morning" each time he said it was night time to make it stop
This has that same feeling
I just cried and laid there when they went to sleep. I still can't sleep
I know this is somewhat my fault though. I'm not diagnosed but it has to be a form of autism that makes me so people stupid
I really just thought they wanted to cuddle.
I'm sorry for how stupid I am

When i die, please let it be peaceful.
I want home but where even is home?

 

[rottenbeing]

It's not your fault. It's that horrible person's fault.

I know the pain. The shame that comes with this. You are unable to open up about it to anyone in real life. The shame just keeps on getting bigger.
I had similar experiences. I was in a children's home from age 5-16. I remember when I was around 8 years old, a 16 y/o boy used to kiss me while we were playing. I thought it was a game of some sorts. And then when I was 9, another boy around 18-19 year old used to kiss me forcefully.
Then when I was around 22, my own brother humped on me. I was taking a nap. He came into my bed. It was daytime. I never expected that from him. I just froze. I just pretended to be asleep and waited for it to be over.

Just remember that it was never our fault. It's the fault of these pathetic excuse for a human being.