Venting soon

[heisenberg]

i am finally officially plan in my ctb. my boyfriend is going to a guys trip in february for 2 days. when he is gone, i'm going to get a hotel room and will take my sn at midnight. i've been taking my lexapro for the past week and half just so i can make it through the holidays without making my family and boyfriend feel burdened as much by my presence. my boyfriend knows i am suicidal, but does not know i am planning of course. truthfully, i've started to resent my boyfriend because of my bpd. i don't feel connected to him anymore, even though i know he really loves me. we are planning to get our own place in march. i wish things wouldn't have to end this way but i don't think i can ever live happily, i've always wanted to die from a young age. i see no future for myself. i am counting down my final couple months.

 

[ma0]

Hope you find the peace and happiness you're looking for.

 

[xtra_cheesecurds]

I hope you find peace in your plan.

 

[pointblank]

May your trip go smoothly and peacefully~

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always wished to die as well, I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for.

 

[themummyreturns]

Maybe hold out until you get your own place in March? See if that betters anything?

I'm either going in September or December, so I know how you feel to have a date in mind though.

I hope however things play out, you find your peace!