Venting Sometimes I think about the "what could've been"s and it hurts

[NotSalmon]

Thinking about all of the things that could've been almost hurts more than thinking about what has already happened that you can't get back. Just all of the theoretical "what if"s that you can never in your life get a certain answer to and never once experience. It hurts to think about.
I wish there was a way to cope with such thoughts.

 

[yowai]

Well whatever you think could've had a better outcome could also end up much worse so there's that. Maybe it wasn't meant to be

 

[pariah80]

Thinking about all of the things that could've been almost hurts more than thinking about what has already happened that you can't get back. Just all of the theoretical "what if"s that you can never in your life get a certain answer to and never once experience. It hurts to think about.
I wish there was a way to cope with such thoughts.

God, this reads like I wrote it. I fantasize about what could've been all the time. Even right now, when I've decided to go. I think about how things would've been if I wasn't autistic. If I knew what to say when to say it. If the situations that happened weren't as painful. If I would've pursued my art in earnest. I guess what tempers all those thoughts is the fact that, no matter what I did... no matter if I was the most aware person in the world... if I was the best artist in the world... If I wasn't abused... life and the world would still arrive at this point in time. Things would still be in decline. The world would still be headed in the direction it's going. I'd just be a little more comfortable within the collapse than I am now. I would have some kind of reason to stay and endure the collapse rather than leave before it comes.

I know you have a different perspective than I, so all I can do is offer hugs and love to you.

 

[divinemistress36]

I feel this. I often wonder if we just came here to learn suffering

 

[pariah80]

I feel this. I often wonder if we just came here to learn suffering

Learn suffering for what?

 

[Regen]

I feel this. I often wonder if we just came here to learn suffering

Sometimes I think that too. And it helps me to cope with the pain. That's why I really love the Buddhism. Since I see it like that I feel much better.

 

[nomoredolor]

Yes it's the most painful thing. But it doesn't stop me from exploring "dreamland" and pretending that things are different. Just to give myself a small break from reality. But coming back hurts that much more. I just need to accept things as they are and not how I wish them to be.

I feel this. I often wonder if we just came here to learn suffering

I was put on this earth to suffer. I don't actually believe in reincarnation but often feel that if it's real I must've been a horrible person in the last life.

Anna

 

[divinemistress36]

Sometimes I think that too. And it helps me to cope with the pain. That's why I really love the Buddhism. Since I see it like that I feel much better.

Invite your demons to tea -Buddha

 

[Regen]

Invite your demons to tea -Buddha

Thanks!! That was exactly the right thing and opened up more spaces for me. I was already standing in front of the door, but now it's open.