Discussion Sometimes I just don’t understand my shit mind

[Waiting for death]

Why am I still down and unmotivated when good things happen? Sometimes I even reject any help because I decided that I want to ctb soon. There is one thing that I'm concerned, I come from a poor family we don't pay any funeral plan, if I die now, I don't know what's going to happen, my desire is to give away my vital organs this is my last will.
Do you guys have any concerns that's holding you back from freedom?

 

[Inthewind]

If you want to give away organs you should register as a organ donor, I bet some links will pop up for you. Thats nice that you are thinking ahead for that. You can also try DNR, I think for do not resusitate. I dunno if that will apply here Im wondering if they will go by what you want if you have that written on you. like as a tattoo or bracelet or something. Maybe the hospital who helps take the organs will do something about the body so you guys may not need to worry or they work with a morgue.. Sometimes I dont enjoy things that are good because I already think about whatll happen when it over, I gotta work on that. So to compensate for those thoughts I act more joyful in the moment or I look neutral. I want to live in the moment because it rare for those things to happen.