Venting Someone just comes and kill me please

[fleetingnight]

I'll delete this later. I fucking hate how much I talk about myself, but apparently not enough to stop doing it, because here I am doing it. I always say I'll talk less, but I never do. That's just another thing that'll be better when I finally die.

But I'm too scared to do it on my own. I'm a stupid fucking coward. I've been thinking about it, and I really don't think I'll ever get over the fear. It shouldn't be hard when I hate life so much, but I can't, I'm scared of fuckign everything and I can't. I just need somebody to murder me. Make it quick if you're nice, make it slow to give me what I deserve, it's not like I have a say in how you do it. Just get it over with, I don't care. I'm trying to put myself in dangerous situation, but all that ever happens is I get hurt. There's so much senseless death, why can't mine be one of them? Can I take someone's place? Please, PLEASE someone just do it

 

[iloverachel]

I understand how you feel my friend
I'm sorry you are hurting so much

 

[Slipkorn]

You're not a coward. All of us still here can't do it either, or we wouldn't still be here. We're just hardwired to survive, there's nothing you're conscious brain can do to stop it. Building up the "courage" is just finally tipping the scales. That's why most successful suicides are the things you can't come back from, cause once you start, you can't stop even if you wanted to, and you'll always want to.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

Completely relate. Passively dying or dying by means that are out of your control is a lot less daunting than actively harming yourself to do so. Many of us just don't have the stomach to handle it. (Plus I heard things can get quite messy if not done right.)

 

[fleetingnight]

I understand how you feel my friend
I'm sorry you are hurting so much

Thank you for your sympathy<3

You're not a coward. All of us still here can't do it either, or we wouldn't still be here. We're just hardwired to survive, there's nothing you're conscious brain can do to stop it.

I can't help but feel like I'm more averse to it than anyone else here, I just envy the acceptance some users have so much. But, thank you for the kind words<3

Completely relate. Passively dying or dying by means that are out of your control is a lot less daunting than actively harming yourself to do so. Many of us just don't have the stomach to handle it. (Plus I heard things can get quite messy if not done right.)

Definitely. I get why there's a kind of mental block about it (pretty much every living thing needs the instinct to survive) Thank you, and I'm really sorry you're struggling too

 

[fleetingnight]

Oh I think I came back too late for delete this. I forgot there was a limit on that. Dammit