Hey guys,
I just figured i would share a little bit. I v been lurking on this website for over a year now.
I always aim to make strides in resolving my situation , and in fact in the last year i made strides that may even be worthy of being posted on the recovery forums.
I do not go there however, and for good reason.
No matter how significant the stride , and no matter how much my general mental health improves , and it has indeed improved (no meds used), i feel like i can not resolve or be rid of the core issues that always throw me into the pit.
I can suppress them and i can ignore them for a time, and even be happy for a time but they are always back to tear it all down and its in times like those , that i end up here again, my last refuge and what seems to be my happiest place. Here where i feel closest to the promise and possibility of peace.......
I have never taken my, lets say, tendencies to favor an early departure lightly, other than self preservation instinct ,what always scared me most was to fail or botch an attempt.
But i think ironically part of my journey to improved has thought me that some things can not be ignored.
I believe its time for me to start forming a solid and full proof plan of action, for the day i will eventually and inevitably run out of strength to fight it.
Thank you for listening
I just figured i would share a little bit. I v been lurking on this website for over a year now.
I always aim to make strides in resolving my situation , and in fact in the last year i made strides that may even be worthy of being posted on the recovery forums.
I do not go there however, and for good reason.
No matter how significant the stride , and no matter how much my general mental health improves , and it has indeed improved (no meds used), i feel like i can not resolve or be rid of the core issues that always throw me into the pit.
I can suppress them and i can ignore them for a time, and even be happy for a time but they are always back to tear it all down and its in times like those , that i end up here again, my last refuge and what seems to be my happiest place. Here where i feel closest to the promise and possibility of peace.......
I have never taken my, lets say, tendencies to favor an early departure lightly, other than self preservation instinct ,what always scared me most was to fail or botch an attempt.
But i think ironically part of my journey to improved has thought me that some things can not be ignored.
I believe its time for me to start forming a solid and full proof plan of action, for the day i will eventually and inevitably run out of strength to fight it.
Thank you for listening
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