Some words that change your day

[HillWhereIWillRest]

I went to a doctor yesterday afternoon. I made an appointment to talk about how I feel and ask for lab tests, it would be a quick consultation.

I've known him since 2018.

He told me a little about himself, how's his health, talked about his projects, some wishes, some disappointments with friends...

I was in a hurry to leave soon, but he was so excited talking about all his stuff. Seemed happy to see me again.

In a moment he told me that we could go out for a coffee and that he appreciates when I go to his clinic.

He's also professor and researcher and said that I'm more interested in health issues than some of his students.

I blushed, started to feel hot and anxious, almost panicked. I was wearing two masks, hope he didn't realize I was shy.

For a few moments I fantasized that I was an attractive, healthy, stable woman, that a man could be interested in me.
I checked his Facebook and didn't find photos of any girlfriend or wife.

I got home and felt stupid, remembered that I still live with my parents despite my age, that I have BPD, autoimmune diseases, that I'm more dead than alive, cannot work, I'm defective and broken and want to die.

No man in the world, knowing me for real, would want to be with me.

He's probably just another rich bachelor looking for fun. But why with me if I'm so sick? Did he feel sorry for me? Today he must be seeing other patients... And I'm here in bed sick and suffering from not having a decent life

 

[Sensei]

You know, sometimes you should just be happy that someone's interested in or attracted by you and not analyze it too much. Why not simply have a cup of coffee with him? If nothing else, you'll have a nice conversation with a nice person.

 

[HillWhereIWillRest]

You know, sometimes you should just be happy that someone's interested in or attracted by you and not analyze it too much. Why not simply have a cup of coffee with him? If nothing else, you'll have a nice conversation with a nice person.

I don't believe he is interested in me. I'm visibly sick. I really need a doctor, a caregiver... I'm not well to have a friend or boyfriend I create expectations, it would hurt me a lot to know that I was a joke.

 

[Morphosis]

I create expectations, it would hurt me a lot to know that I was a joke.

It didn't sound remotely like a joke to me, he sounded sincere and genuinely happy to see you. He is obviously already aware of your health issues, and he was the one suggested coffee. Sounds like win/ win to me. You might end up with doctor/ caregiver/ friend/ boyfriend all in one package And believe me, for him to override any professional instincts to keep his distance, he must really want to spend time with you. Maybe he's lonely too.
What's the worst that could happen? Go have that cup of coffee with an interesting intelligent man who clearly likes talking to you.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

I totally get this, I wouldn't believe it either if someone suddenly invited me out. But I'd say you can try to continue talk with him the next times you visit him. You can even go out, there is no harm in that.