Venting some thoughts about living

[burglarlydante]

So, I was looking at some old pictures of myself and I just realized that I was not always that depressive and suicidal as now.
I was a little awkward but never gave up on me and was very confident as longs I remember
I think my teenagehood made myself worst, like I was always a victim of abuse by my father's family but just realized it in my teenagehood days.
Which made me more and more suicidal
I know it's wrong to blame the victim but I think I was better without knowing what was happening
Btw I think I have no way back to normal such as my suicide is the only thing that was left for me to do
I have to ctb asap (like I always say here)

 

[aforestfire]

i became suicidal after realizing that what happened to me in my childhood wasn't normal, so i understand what you mean, i also wish i didn't noticed; ignorance is a truly bliss. either way, i hope you find the peace that you wish for.

 

[burglarlydante]

i became suicidal after realizing that what happened to me in my childhood wasn't normal, so i understand what you mean, i also wish i didn't noticed; ignorance is a truly bliss. either way, i hope you find the peace that you wish for.

yeah, I'm the worst kind of person to be around, nobody truly loves me and I know that
I should be dead since I was 16, when I first truly attempted suicide

 

[FuneralCry]

I think the unfortunate reality is that after all there is simply nothing fair about any of this, it really is such a cruel existence where so many people suffer through no fault of their own and it's awful how all this endless torment continues to exist in this world. No wonder so many wish to ctb, I hope that you find the freedom that you are looking for.