Hey everyone, this is my first post here. I've been a lurker for quite some time, reading people's perspectives, experiences etc..
I just wanted to share what happened to me last night. I've been contemplating suicide on and off for a couple years now, mostly just ideation, essentially a form of escapism. However, recently I've been getting more serious about it to the point where I purchased what is needed for the "night night method." Yesterday evening, I got it to the point where I had it tight enough to start getting dizzy and feel like I'm fading a bit, but I ended up hitting the ratchet release and not going through with it.
Something about the finality of it struck me in that moment and it felt like I was able to put things in their proper perspective for the first time in a while. It's very strange how that works, but for some reason it made me realize that I actually don't want to die just yet and may not end up following through with it at all, but I still might at some point. It's still on the table for the future.
I'm not trying to push my views on anybody or act like my situation is in any way the same as anyone else's, just sharing my experience. I am a spiritual person and believe in God (beyond a shadow of a doubt.) For some reason, it took me getting to that point to feel a "reset" of sorts where I was able to tap into the positive and I find myself much more able to be "present" today. My anxiety is almost gone. I see a genuine path that I can follow to overcome my demons.
Anyone else have a similar experience? Please let me know, I'd love to discuss a little further and hear another perspective. Once again, I want to emphasize that I am not hear to downplay anyone's suffering or force my views on anyone, just sharing my experience. Thanks.
I just wanted to share what happened to me last night. I've been contemplating suicide on and off for a couple years now, mostly just ideation, essentially a form of escapism. However, recently I've been getting more serious about it to the point where I purchased what is needed for the "night night method." Yesterday evening, I got it to the point where I had it tight enough to start getting dizzy and feel like I'm fading a bit, but I ended up hitting the ratchet release and not going through with it.
Something about the finality of it struck me in that moment and it felt like I was able to put things in their proper perspective for the first time in a while. It's very strange how that works, but for some reason it made me realize that I actually don't want to die just yet and may not end up following through with it at all, but I still might at some point. It's still on the table for the future.
I'm not trying to push my views on anybody or act like my situation is in any way the same as anyone else's, just sharing my experience. I am a spiritual person and believe in God (beyond a shadow of a doubt.) For some reason, it took me getting to that point to feel a "reset" of sorts where I was able to tap into the positive and I find myself much more able to be "present" today. My anxiety is almost gone. I see a genuine path that I can follow to overcome my demons.
Anyone else have a similar experience? Please let me know, I'd love to discuss a little further and hear another perspective. Once again, I want to emphasize that I am not hear to downplay anyone's suffering or force my views on anyone, just sharing my experience. Thanks.
