Some last minute company?

[BPDbitch]

Well folks, it's finally here.

I'm hoping to ctb within the next couple of hours. Right now I'm enjoying some cans, listening to music, and trying to tidy my flat as best I can. Just looking for some chat/company leading up to it, about anything and everything!

I'm going with full suspension this time, as partial has failed me multiple times over the past 7 years.

SS has been a massive help over the years. Never been too active on either here or Reddit, but I lurked on both lots. Very helpful and supportive. I hope everyone finds what they're looking for.

I feel oddly calm, but we'll see how long that lasts for. I really would like to go, this time.

(Mods, I'll self ban, clear history etc before my attempt. Would like to stay on for now! )

 

[itsmeagain]

I'm here... I'm so sorry you've gotten to this point but... I'll be here for you. Please feel free to PM me sweetie.

 

[LastRide]

I'm at my desk supposed to be working but dead bored....happy to be of company ! Or help...or anything you wish ! May your last hours not be the saddest....(I can even crack some jokes if it relaxes you !)

 

[randomz]

I am sorry life led you to this point. I hope you have thought that decision well and you have exhausted every other option to make yourself feel better with life.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm here <3

 

[Suicide_vampire]

Here also to give some company

 

[BPDbitch]

I'm at my desk supposed to be working but dead bored....happy to be of company ! Or help...or anything you wish ! May your last hours not be the saddest....(I can even crack some jokes if it relaxes you !)

Jokes are more than welcome. After a miserable life I could do with a cheerful exit

 

[Nem]

We're here to support any decision that you make
Peace/hugs

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for. I'm here to talk currently but don't know about later times. It's good that you're relaxed and you should enjoy the next couple of hours. So much love

 

[LastRide]

Jokes are more than welcome. After a miserable life I could do with a cheerful exit

Little joke on your chosen method:
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.

 

[BPDbitch]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for. I'm here to talk currently but don't know about later times. It's good that you're relaxed and you should enjoy the next couple of hours. So much love

Thank you I'm trying to listen to as much of the music I've loved as I can. Over the last few months I've exhausted my depression playlists so I've found myself back in the 2012 charts, back when life seemed like it meant something.

Little joke on your chosen method:
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.

Wish there was a laugh react love it

 

[LastRide]

Not one for Christians:
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around !

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

Thank you I'm trying to listen to as much of the music I've loved as I can. Over the last few months I've exhausted my depression playlists so I've found myself back in the 2012 charts, back when life seemed like it meant something.

Wish there was a laugh react love it

Any music is good music. As long as it's not country (sorry country lovers) But really do enjoy your next few hours as much as possible

 

[BPDbitch]

Any music is good music. As long as it's not country

AGREED oops

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

AGREED oops

 

[BPDbitch]

I feel so guilty about my boyfriend. He called me earlier and could sense how flat/detached I sounded. I hate leaving him like this, but I need to. I'm going to listen to our song as I do it

 

[xBrialesana]

I'll be on all day

I've found myself back in the 2012 charts, back when life seemed like it meant something.

Idk why but this is relatable and made me laugh. Also weren't we all supposed to die in 2012?

 

[BPDbitch]

I'll be on all day



Idk why but this is relatable and made me laugh. Also weren't we all supposed to die in 2012?

I think I've been dissociated since then, so maybe we did.

 

[rntmss]

Remember that you can always back out and nobody will judge you.

 

[Cheshirecatx]

I hope you've made the decision you feel is best for you, but know that help is out there. Whether it's just one of us to talk to or a professional. You can always change your mind.

 

[xBrialesana]

I feel so guilty about my boyfriend. He called me earlier and could sense how flat/detached I sounded. I hate leaving him like this, but I need to. I'm going to listen to our song as I do it

I'm so sorry you're struggling with your feelings. Only you know what's right here but I'm here to listen.

Remember that you can always back out and nobody will judge you.

And this^. You sound a little conflicted.

 

[BPDbitch]

Remember that you can always back out and nobody will judge you.

I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, but if I do at least I know I can come back here and chat with all you lovely people

I hope you've made the decision you feel is best for you, but know that help is out there. Whether it's just one of us to talk to or a professional. You can always change your mind. ❤

Ironically I am a mental healthcare professional . Some of them are shit though. Like the GP that told me 'depressed people can't go to work', and the nurse who was disgustingly rude to me when I attempted to OD at 14. I think I've taken enough measure to ensure this is a rational decision for me

 

[LastRide]

To people asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here....

 

[sickInsominic42]

If you do go through with this decision, may you go quickly and painlessly. I'm here to support anything that you want to do be out ctb or postponing, or even just living. We are all by your side

 

[BPDbitch]

To people asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here....

I love suicide memes. It's just a shame I can't share them on fb because that's 'unhealthy' and I 'need to see a psychiatrist'.

 

[LastRide]

Ironically I am a mental healthcare professional
[/QUOTE]
Nooooo ! Sorry but that's the biggest joke ever.... and the best proof for the pro-lifers that wanting to ctb doesn't just go away when you "go and talk to someone" ! They all think you want to kill yourself because you have no one to talk to ! Look what we're doing, we're all talking, and we all want to committ suicide !

 

[mesohappy]

So I take it no work today? I remember you couldn't do full suspension at your home and were looking for alternatives.Take it that you found one or did you find a place at home? Sad life has brought you to this point,but sending you love and wishing you peace.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Well folks, it's finally here.

I'm hoping to ctb within the next couple of hours. Right now I'm enjoying some cans, listening to music, and trying to tidy my flat as best I can. Just looking for some chat/company leading up to it, about anything and everything!

I'm going with full suspension this time, as partial has failed me multiple times over the past 7 years.

SS has been a massive help over the years. Never been too active on either here or Reddit, but I lurked on both lots. Very helpful and supportive. I hope everyone finds what they're looking for.

I feel oddly calm, but we'll see how long that lasts for. I really would like to go, this time.

(Mods, I'll self ban, clear history etc before my attempt. Would like to stay on for now! )

I'm glad you're finally gonna find peace brother. I can't wait till my CTB date (: finally fying feels good sometimes

 

[MysticPerception]

Well I've read a bit about you based on what you've posted and I completely understand you going so good luck. Wish I had the courage for full suspension in the past instead I just have a rope that sees no use. Hope you succeed when you go for it and it's painless.

 

[BPDbitch]

So I take it no work today? I remember you couldn't do full suspension at your home and were looking for alternatives.Take it that you found one or did you find a place at home? Sad life has brought you to this point,but sending you love and wishing you peace.

I thought I found a place at home, but I just discovered my fucking ligature isn't long enough for both the anchor point and me ))) although I'm quite drunk already (not a drinker), so I may try partial as I was drunk last time and came close but my rope slipped. I did think of a patch of trees near me, but it's on a campus and I feel iffy about doing it in such a public place.

I'm glad you're finally gonna find peace brother. I can't wait till my CTB date (: finally fying feels good sometimes

Sister . Same to you, friend, whether in life or death.

Well I've read a bit about you based on what you've posted and I completely understand you going so good luck. Wish I had the courage for full suspension in the past instead I just have a rope that sees no use. Hope you succeed when you go for it and it's painless.

Full suspension has been my dream since I was about 12 years old, so hopefully I can accomplish it.