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itsallover

Arcanist
Jun 29, 2018
478
I am starting to feel somewhat better with my condition and hope I can make a full recovery, but I know that things will never be exactly the same again. I don't know if this comment is gonna get me banned and this is more for the people that have been hurt by others especially medically. If you don't know my story I am considering suicide because of what basically happens all the time to patients all around the world by incompetent and what I feel in my case is spiteful uncaring staff. I know that the nurse didn't do his job right and feel that it was malicious. When I read the medical report from that night that says things like patient understands the benefits and risks of this procedure it completely infuriates me. There was no benefit to what they did and the risk were never discussed. I was completely oblivious to what could happen. Live and learn I guess. There was also things written on there that were straight up lies like bloodwork being done which as a person with severe ocd and a great memory knows it wasn't done. They also claim to have put in an IV which is another lie. I think that everything that was done that night was purely for money as they still send me bills for that visit that destroyed my life. They could have just given me pills and I would have been fine instead of wasting the past two years and seemingly looking for a needle in a haystack with this condition. Anyway my question is if that you have been seriously hurt by somebody or some people would you consider taking revenge before ending your own life? That does not mean killing them but doing something very hurtful to them that would seriously impact their lives just as their actions did to you. I am not homicidal, but just angry. Does anyone here have spite and wants to have the last word so to speak before ending it or have you gotten past that? I know that hate just eats up inside and I really do feel it now after hearing others but not understanding and that really religious people have forgiven those that have done awful things like killing their family member, but I just can't seem to do it. I think it's because I wake up everyday with the same problems that are preventing me from living my life. Basically my question is are you at peace with ending your life or do still have disdain for certain people and events in your life?
 
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shadow11

Wizard
Jul 31, 2018
619
I was basically treated the same way, given medication that completely destroyed my life and was never told what it would do to me. Every time I have asked for help I have been denied and sent on my way. Said the medicine wouldn't do that
Yes, I am still angry but at the same time I want to end my life and make the pain end. I am not at peace yet about ending my life but am getting closer.
 
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