Socially awkward

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I'm trying to socialize with people in the chat but I just don't know what to say. It's like I'm just innately boring or something. I was like this ever since I was a kid, hoping I'd be able to talk to people, but I wasn't able to. Nothing comes to my mind and I have to force myself to say something. I remember my best friend in 7th grade had so much more luck communicating with people and fitting in. I know it's my autism, it can't be much else. Sigh, I really hate myself sometimes.

 

[DivineSpark]

At least you didnt get banned from chat like I have. Anyway, in real life, I have no problem socializing face to face with people. I got lots of friends.

 

[ChildOfLove]

I relate to this on a painfully deep level. Though I guess my concern isn't so much about being boring. It's more about not being able to engage with other people at all, whether online or in person, doesn't make much of a difference.

 

[beeptad]

Feel exactly the same, never been able to communicate or express myself.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Same. I force myself to try to say something and usually end up offending people, hurting their feelings, making them hate me. I don't know why I try. But the pain of being hated is something I often crave because I hate myself and just want the pain.

 

[Subhumano]

Sounds like me, Im the most socially awkward man on earth

 

[deadstillwalking]

I understand. My anxiety is the worst when I'm supposed to talk to someone new, be it irl or online. Got introduced to a classmate of my friend and I literally chose the worst possible dialogue option. Long story short I sounded dry as fuck and my day was ruined. I seriously don't get my introverted friend who doesn't speak to ANYONE irl, yet he has thousands of messages on discord. I came to the conclusion that I'm just retarded

 

[InTheAbyss]

Same, but not in chat. With communicating with people in general. It's so hard to do.

 

[ilvgore]

yeah im socially akward and i hate it. i never learned social skills and i have a massive problem with eye contact.
honestly i think it's my lack of self esteem that refuses to think i deserve something like eye contact.
all this childhood neglect and believing i dont deserve any attention got me to this point.
i believe myself too be ugly and don't want this confirmed by their disgusted looks, so i dont look no matter what, i dont want to be rejected.
and online it's more of a "i dont know what to say or i totally absolutely have no clue about the topic that's being talked about and i don't wanna add something unnecessary"
i never ever want to be rejected by people so i play a passive role, i never fit in.
they see it in my behaviour my face, and my boring responses.