Venting social norms nd stuff

[anaokino_]

I don't think that i have a good understanding of social norms and i really hate myself for it. It's like everyone is born with a basic understanding of how to act in social situations but me. It seems like everyone know how to act or what to do . I can't keep friends. In every literally every imaginable social situation i'm awkward. Almost everyone i meet tells me that i'm weird.
I don't know how to articulate myself but it feels like i'm not meant to be a human.
I used to tel my mom about those issues when i was younger and she'd just say "Just be yourself". To this day I don't know how to be myself or to act like myself.

 

[littleearthquakes]

I've always had that problem too. I did a ton of therapy and learned how to pretend to be normal. How to ask people questions, force myself to smile. I still often came off as cold and weird because I wasn't always good at masking and hiding emotions and awkwardness. Now I've decided to stop mostly doing that and people are once again being mean and cold and finding me weird and pushing me away. Some of us can't really "just be ourselves" at least not to the general population because we can't play the games or don't want to. And yeah, I mean, what even is myself? Awkward and depressed? I don't really know how to be myself or be normal. I just do my best to communicate clearly and express my needs and feelings but people find that too much then try to fix me or don't like me. It feels impossible.