yearned
Member
- Apr 23, 2026
- 21
just saw a reel. someone in the reel was one my exes. our relationship completely ruined me in every way. brings back awful memories. so much shame over how i tried desperately to get this relationship back while i was already seeing someone who probably loved me. this is all so stupid. relationships are stupid and awful and shameful. i miss who i was before. i miss the woman i pushed away after him. i hate my life. can't believe i ruined my life for someone like him just because he would give me drugs, food, money and sex. i have decided that relationships arent as necessary as i used to think but i feel so nostalgic for the moments where i was with her after him and where i couldve have just invested myself in my relationship with her instead of trying to get him back. im such a fucking loser and failure. i destroy everyone i love, i hate this. i cant wait to be gone and to not have to deal with any of this. i will miss her though, she is the main one who checks up on me. what feels so good about her checking up on me is that i know she does it because she decides to care. the fact that she chooses to still check up on me after everything i put her through makes me feel warm.
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