Social Anxiety

[EndlessDespair]

I have been living with social anxiety all my life. I grew up in a black household, so mental health is never really talked about. I have a lot of siblings so my mom always had her hands full and never really noticed that I was different or had trouble socializing (though, I'm sure she wouldn't really know how to deal with it anyway). My social anxiety was left untreated throughout my elementary and high school years. I don't really know what it's like to have a friend Group or have someone you can laugh and make memories. I missed out on crucial moments in my life that I can never get back.

Now that I'm an adult, I struggle to make conversation and small talk. I get nervous and anxious during social interactions. I don't know how to make friends, and have never had a girlfriend. All my life I have been alone and forced to be a loner. I simply can't continue to live a sad life like this. I have always searched on Google to see if I had some type of mental illness, and each time I would self diagnose with SA, but I have never been able to seek professional help. Why? Idk. I just didn't know how, or didn't have the motivation to.

My SN arrived a week ago, and now that I actually have a choice, I will be giving life one more shot. I will finally get some professional help as a last resort, to see of it will actually help my situation (hopefully my health insurance covers it). If anyone struggled or is struggling with SA, please let me know if you have been treated, and if it helped at all.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Mine has been devastating and is one of my main reasons to CTB but no treatment of any kind has been helpful. It was always a question of either being able to white-knuckle it or not. I hope yours can subside some and that treatment is successful.

 

[looseye]

You basically summarized my life for the most part right there. SA is horrible by itself and turns into a true monster when paired with depression. I believe that the best treatment for this is dumb experience, as in just talking to people. The first step to actually go out and find someone to talk to is the catch though. I don't have the balls for that. My anxiety goes away when I spend a lot of time with colleagues at work but as soon as I meet someone new it's like the progress gets completely reset. Fucking frustrating, bro.

 

[EndlessDespair]

You basically summarized my life for the most part right there. SA is horrible by itself and turns into a true monster when paired with depression. I believe that the best treatment for this is dumb experience, as in just talking to people. The first step to actually go out and find someone to talk to is the catch though. I don't have the balls for that. My anxiety goes away when I spend a lot of time with colleagues at work but as soon as I meet someone new it's like the progress gets completely reset. Fucking frustrating, bro.

Yea, the weird thing is that I work at a call centre so I talk to people everyday, but the people I speak to on the phone are just npc's to me, I literally can just choose one of the programmed speech options to continue a conversation. But whenever I try to talk to my coworkers In the office, I get anxious and have nothing to say or talk about. I just don't know how I can relate to anyone and keep a conversation going, if I literally do nothing with my life. I have zero social experience, so often the conversation gets dry really fast. Most of the time my first impression to people is that I'm shy, and don't want to talk to anyone, so then they never approach me again. And my nerves will never allow me to approach someone first to start a conversation.

 

[SectOfValtiel]

Im 25 and Ive had social anxiety since middle school, finally got the diagnosis around 2018 or so but it was honestly probably the source of a lot of my depression growing up
It got bad enough that I would skip school and miss the bus on purpose *constantly* just to avoid being around people any more than I had to- and I honestly didnt figure out that was the reason until way after high school, thought I just hated school but therapy helped me figure that part out

Its honestly left me feeling incredibly lonely, it was part of the reason I nearly tried to CTB in middle school
But ironically enough, I ended up dating my best friend and she kinda restored hope in me

It is funny
Really the only time my social anxiety felt better was when someone else helped me along
I still have a handful of people in the back of my mind Ill never forget because theyre the reason I have *any* social skills
And that means the unfortunate thing about social anxiety is, the best way to cure it is to force yourself to be social
I can almost guarantee you any professional you see will tell you the same
Not that its easy, and lately Ive fallen really far behind, myself... Ive gone full recluse and its been awhile since Ive even been able to answer the phone, reply to a message, anything other than talk here on SS
And I think I only can because of the anonymous nature of this website- not to mention knowing so many of you guys know what Im dealing with pretty well

As for medication, I did take a few that were known treatments for social anxiety but they were being prescribed as antidepressants as well
There might have been one just for the anxiety but honestly I was on so many pills that I cant remember what half of them were for
And no, nothing helped me, but then again none of the rest of the antidepressants helped with the depression either, so
I might just be treatment-resistant in general

I wish you good luck, I know how hard social anxiety is to deal with so hopefully either the meds work or talking to a professional does
I hope you manage to turn your life around
You deserve to be happy, confident, surrounded by good friends that care about you, that much I believe in entirely

 

[Dysgenic Pup]

Fuck social anxiety, that's all I gotta say.

 

[A simple aid]

I have been living with social anxiety all my life. I grew up in a black household, so mental health is never really talked about. I have a lot of siblings so my mom always had her hands full and never really noticed that I was different or had trouble socializing (though, I'm sure she wouldn't really know how to deal with it anyway). My social anxiety was left untreated throughout my elementary and high school years. I don't really know what it's like to have a friend Group or have someone you can laugh and make memories. I missed out on crucial moments in my life that I can never get back.

Now that I'm an adult, I struggle to make conversation and small talk. I get nervous and anxious during social interactions. I don't know how to make friends, and have never had a girlfriend. All my life I have been alone and forced to be a loner. I simply can't continue to live a sad life like this. I have always searched on Google to see if I had some type of mental illness, and each time I would self diagnose with SA, but I have never been able to seek professional help. Why? Idk. I just didn't know how, or didn't have the motivation to.

My SN arrived a week ago, and now that I actually have a choice, I will be giving life one more shot. I will finally get some professional help as a last resort, to see of it will actually help my situation (hopefully my health insurance covers it). If anyone struggled or is struggling with SA, please let me know if you have been treated, and if it helped at all.

Good for you bro...though professional help doesnt always seem all that effective....so assuming things dont work out please dont assume all reaching out is futile....the people you seek help from ...even they have issues.....and we overly paint various mental stuff....dude if your someone who has trouble interacting with people...you simply need someone wholl reach out to you...in the world your unlikely to find that cause everyones busy with this or that.....so im glad youve been able to open up even here....and you clearly feel lonely since you talking bout soical anxiety and not oh i love being alone....bro luck is when things come to you....your world isnt run by that....its why people lose hope....pick wisely the people if any you interact with pick wisely the things you associate with...its these things that shove you right back into your void....if you need help bro im here

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you have struggled so much. I can relate. I also feel massive social anxiety around people and I agree- it is very limiting in life. I suppose I'm fortunate in a way because I would say I am a natural 'loner' (biologically an only child), so I don't really crave social interaction that much. Still, I do wonder what a more 'normal' life would have been like.

I didn't actually know there were medications for social anxiety. I guess that's kind of stupid to say. I suppose anything that reduces anxiety might help. I went on Fluoexetine (Prozac)- an antidepressant for one course but I didn't feel like it did much. Still, I've heard others say it helped them, so perhaps I just didn't give it enough of a chance.

I REALLY admire you for seeking out help. It's a brave thing (I think) to open up to someone about insecurities. I really hope it helps you and wish you all the very best.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

I had severe social anxiety for about 8 years, and almost fully recovered without any meds. It's possible. It took ages, exposure is the only thing that helped, first meeting friends of acquaintances, then talking to coworkers. Drink was also useful when going to events but it's a slippery slope. Feel free to pm if you want to chat, and good luck on your journey!

 

[Life is unfair]

I have been living with social anxiety all my life. I grew up in a black household, so mental health is never really talked about. I have a lot of siblings so my mom always had her hands full and never really noticed that I was different or had trouble socializing (though, I'm sure she wouldn't really know how to deal with it anyway). My social anxiety was left untreated throughout my elementary and high school years. I don't really know what it's like to have a friend Group or have someone you can laugh and make memories. I missed out on crucial moments in my life that I can never get back.

Now that I'm an adult, I struggle to make conversation and small talk. I get nervous and anxious during social interactions. I don't know how to make friends, and have never had a girlfriend. All my life I have been alone and forced to be a loner. I simply can't continue to live a sad life like this. I have always searched on Google to see if I had some type of mental illness, and each time I would self diagnose with SA, but I have never been able to seek professional help. Why? Idk. I just didn't know how, or didn't have the motivation to.

My SN arrived a week ago, and now that I actually have a choice, I will be giving life one more shot. I will finally get some professional help as a last resort, to see of it will actually help my situation (hopefully my health insurance covers it). If anyone struggled or is struggling with SA, please let me know if you have been treated, and if it helped at all.

I also have SA I'm 37. Had it my whole life. I started toastmasters 5 months ago, and I am fighting for my confidence although it's coming very slowly. Hopefully I can hang on long enough.

 

[EndlessDespair]

I also have SA I'm 37. Had it my whole life. I started toastmasters 5 months ago, and I am fighting for my confidence although it's coming very slowly. Hopefully I can hang on long enough.

Thank you for sharing your situation. Since you have more experience and wisdom with dealing with SA, have you been able to gain relationships, or friendships? Or do you still consider yourself alone? If yes, what helped you out the most?

 

[Barteljaap]

My social anxiety was left untreated throughout my elementary and high school years. I don't really know what it's like to have a friend Group or have someone you can laugh and make memories. I missed out on crucial moments in my life that I can never get back.

Not making memories is so painful. People who have many happy moments in their life to look back on (even if they're currently suffering) don't realize how lucky they are.