Venting sobriety or whatever lol

[nolongerhumannn]

hey hello, been a bit since my last thread.
tbh at one point i considered writing a thread in the recovery channel, that hope lasted a decade aye? hahajahdjhdjh anyways as i digress, im fucking miserable.
i think i honestly just convince myself im not half the time, survive until it deems the "right time" a load of bullshit im aware, but part of the reason im so upset is probably the fact that im only not miserable when im fuckfaced with SOME sort of substance. because what the fuck?? it is NOT normal to have to be shitfaced the fuck outta on ket to get through a few hours of work.
also, inevitably, its taking a toll on my physical health, im so sick all the time, i feel like SHIT all the time.

another wonderful ponder thought; i wondered truly if recovering was something i could do, to quit being a pussy and at the very least try but fuck, how does one expect me to live dedicated to medication and just surviving, not living??
wish i could ignore a tab, walk past a bottle without a glimpse, maybe id have a chance then.
im so tired.

 

[maniac116]

Have you thought about a 12 step programs to get sober & learn how to deal with your feelings & emotions. I got sober years ago & it made my life better.
I'm not trying to talk you into anything, I'm just wondering if you have?

 

[KillingPain267]

Sobriety, when also suicidal, fucking SUCKS. My physical health FORCED me into sobriety. But I still hear my master, the bottle, shouting to me to come back and I miss him honestly. He gave me security. Being a freeman is chaotic and uncertain and scary.

 

[maniac116]

Ya it is! Every time I started drinking again I always wished I was dead, so grabbing a bottle made sense to me. I thought "fuck it, I don't care anyway".
If you can just get thru one single day, today then it's a start.
Again I don't want you to think I'm preaching!

 

[hereornot]

I can get over anything immediately. I've tried it and never had any problems.

However, when there are situations where you can't stand other people stalking you, voluntarily leaving sobriety helps you maintain your CTB plan.

The classic "get away from me" or you'll find me in heaven.

The worst thing is virtual voyeurs who make your life hell.