Venting Sober dying

[numbeyesopen26]

I was on a chair. 2 ropes around my neck and ready to let myself go by taking my feet off the chair. Then I felt like I was too drunk to do it. I've decided I want to die sober. I will be gone peacefully, and know it was me and my sadness, not a drink. (I don't drink much but drinking does help me get more courage to do it). I really wish we could decide to live or to die at any age. Killing yourself is the hardest thing about dying, but once your eyes are closed I bet it will be so peaceful.