So you came here to CTB, what made you stay?

[justanotherstar]

Genuinely interested? For those who have chosen to stick around whether for a set period of time or indefinitely what changed? What made you stay?

 

[ScorchedLifePolicy]

I guess I'm just seeing if things will get better but it seems things are getting worse. I have no Idea how long I'll last but I've bought my way out already.... Just a matter of when will I realize that it's over and bite the dust.

 

[DeathBySuicide]

My boyfriend, I don't want him to CTB since he's not done with life (he's also suicidal and I'm the only reason why he's still alive), plus I want to stay with him

 

[yive]

SI, emotions, biological program, existence bias, false hopes etc.
but really, nothing. i don't want to stay here anymore

 

[these_days9]

Just personal circumstances. My date hasn’t arrived yet, waiting on certain things before I go for it. So I guess while I have my method pretty set, this site gives me some camaraderie and comfort in the interim. And I can monitor the latest updates on my method and others.

 

[Lostandlooking]

What made me stay on ss? I can relate to some of the things I’ve read here. Reading about people experiencing somewhat similar things feels comforting and validating. What made me stay alive? Guess I’m just not ready to die yet. Also my cat.

 

[Wraith]

I'm gathering everything I need to CTB. Once I do, I might stick around a bit longer to see if things improve. This is also the only place where I can unironically say I want to drink bleach without getting shamed, which I'm grateful for.

 

[Ghost2211]

I came here to research. I made an account to say thank you for the knowledge I gained, and to express how kind the community was. I stayed because having a place to talk to people that understood how I felt where I could he open without fear was therapeutic. Talking to the group helped with impulsive ctb urges. My situation won’t really get better, but I have to keep going for the kids.

 

[elfgyoza]

It's quite rare for me to act on impulse as I don't often experience those super intense periods of emotions. I've failed a few times since I joined SS, mostly due to backing out though.
Most of my time has been spent just kinda going with the flow, winging it, but my time will come when I feel ready to face it.

Being here has given me some sense of belonging, which is not something I've ever really found in my life. I'm probably more at peace with everything now than I would've been if I never found this place

 

[EmptyManForever]

Survival instinct is what made me stay for the most part , also I'm numb and empty headed ,so I feel like I have no thoughts left , so it's almost impossible to ctb without any thoughts

 

[Lordsudbury]

I made a good attempt on December 1 so the only reason I'm here now is from failing that ... Waiting for next chance

 

[Snowdrifts1212]

I decided to give myself until my next birthday late next year. That said, I am seriously reconsidering that vow, because my suffering is unbearable and has been for some time now.

 

[graceful-exit]

I can’t figure out how to re-home my dogs without that being a huge red flag to anyone who knows me. I can’t go until I figure that out.

 

[demuic]

I have guilt about hurting a family member.

 

[MindFog]

Cowardice. I can't even prick myself with a needle, commiting ctb would be a big leap for me. I hate it.

 

[Mer]

Genuinely interested? For those who have chosen to stick around whether for a set period of time or indefinitely what changed? What made you stay?

Here as in life or here as in the forum?

If you mean life; I wanna watch a few more movies and shows, before the end of the year before CTB.

If you mean the forum; it's the only one I've found like SS. And for the most part the community seems kind and isn't screeching "you coward!!" for even having suicidal ideation. So thanks for that!

 

[NodusTollens]

False hope & failed attempts. That’s what life had to offer to me.

SS gave me the opportunity to speak openly, I never feel like I can be myself with people. I feel that if they get too close they’ll notice that I’m a shell of a human being. It hurts trying to keep this in without talking about it, but the consequences are too steep in the real world.

Good question.

 

[Desdemona]

I have horrible chronic pain issues and there are currently medications in clinical trials that might help and I could get my life back. That’s basically it

 

[SorrySandy]

I came here to research. I made an account to say thank you for the knowledge I gained, and to express how kind the community was. I stayed because having a place to talk to people that understood how I felt where I could he open without fear was therapeutic. Talking to the group helped with impulsive ctb urges. My situation won’t really get better, but I have to keep going for the kids.

Exactly the same, couldn’t put it better than that. My kids are adults now but they’re the last reason I have not to ctb. Literally hanging on for them but not sure for how much longer. Agree with everything you said, virtual hug to you.

 

[SweetTangerine]

i came here during a depressed fit and stayed because of the concept. i feel as if i can truly relate to everyone here and i've never thought i could fit in anywhere at all, so it was a good feeling.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Kept on failing and survival instinct.
But also, I'm selling my flat and I don't want my husband (seperated) to get the money from the flat sale.
I have made a will that says my Mum and Sister gets it shared between them.
If I die before my flat gets sold, he will have to go through getting the flat sold and paying the mortgage and the rest of the bills, but he will also get the money.