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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
My brother called me over to his room and told me that if I ever felt like killing myself (which is pretty much all the time these days), he told me I could use his shotgun to kill myself with, and he wouldn't feel bad about it.

I was completely shocked, but he said he didn't want to see me keep on wasting time thinking or fantasizing about different ways to kill myself (I don't get how he figures these things out... I never tell anybody about that. He's just extremely perceptive I guess) and he doesn't like seeing me miserable all the time. Then he went ahead and gave me a pair of Vicodin (he only does this on extremely rare occasions, usually), and I've felt good all day since, naturally.

Because of the drugs, I can't honestly say for certain how I feel about this, but I think it gives me a sense of comfort knowing that I can easily kill myself anytime I feel like it. I think that alone may make it easier for me to keep on living, at least for awhile.

[edit: I wanted to clarify this just in case there was any confusion; what I meant by "because of the drugs," was "because the drugs are making me feel good automatically]
 
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Nzbeelover

Nzbeelover

Student
Jul 1, 2018
100
Ooommmmggg what a brother.
 
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maktubler

maktubler

Member
May 22, 2018
65
That's so sweet of him?
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
Ooommmmggg what a brother.

My brother can be an arrogant asshole, but we've always been extremely close, and he's always gone above and beyond to help me in my life
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Wow! Guess he pays attention. Kinda weird I guess.
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
My brother can be an arrogant asshole, but we've always been extremely close, and he's always gone above and beyond to help me in my life
And in death by the sounds of it.omg! I am sorry but I would be more upset in knowing that my brother would encourage ctb rather than get me help in an attempt to save my life .but this is my personal opinion.will he not feel guilty for the rest of his life.he may as well pull the trigger himself.Are you not worried that he will be charged with assisted sucicide.you will have to make sure people knew that maybe you stole the gun and he didn't know.if he is charged with assisted sucicide that's 14 years imprisonment so not only will your life be over you can pretty much say his would be too.
 
M

MAIO

Elementalist
Apr 8, 2018
841
And in death by the sounds of it.omg! I am sorry but I would be more upset in knowing that my brother would encourage ctb rather than get me help in an attempt to save my life .but this is my personal opinion.will he not feel guilty for the rest of his life.he may as well pull the trigger himself.Are you not worried that he will be charged with assisted sucicide.you will have to make sure people knew that maybe you stole the gun and he didn't know.if he is charged with assisted sucicide that's 14 years imprisonment so not only will your life be over you can pretty much say his would be too.

"Save my life"

1) Prove life is superior to death/always worth it

2) No one lives forever so at most you are delaying your death will probaly die much worse later on

3) Hardly anyone is ever charged with assisted suicide, that does not quaify as assisted suicide in many juridistions, assisted suicide is legal in some countries and innocent until proved guilty not vise versa.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
"Save my life"

1) Prove life is superior to death/always worth it

2) No one lives forever so at most you are delaying your death will probaly die much worse later on

3) Hardly anyone is ever charged with assisted suicide, that does not quaify as assisted suicide in many juridistions, assisted suicide is legal in some countries and innocent until proved guilty not vise versa.
I get that.I am not against suicide ,it's all I want but my concerns just lay in getting others involved.his brother doesn't want to die and may have a good life.I may be just over reading stuff in my quest to ctb.I don't want to offend.I think I am paranoid at the min as my head is so stuffed and I am researching everything but nice to know.thanks.
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Is assisted suicide legal in America because it's not in the UK?
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
No one will save my life as I will plan every last detail.there will no coming back and I will not tell family of my intentions.
And no FUCK I don't want anyone to save my life.!
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
I am no pro lifer.I just want what everyone on here wants and I will succeed!
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
I get that.I am not against suicide ,it's all I want but my concerns just lay in getting others involved.his brother doesn't want to die and may have a good life.I may be just over reading stuff in my quest to ctb.I don't want to offend.I think I am paranoid at the min as my head is so stuffed and I am researching everything but nice to know.thanks.

Actually my brother does want to die. He's miserable like me. He's just always been much stronger and smarter, and his mental disorders are fewer and easier to treat (basically just panic disorder).

And he said I could "take" his gun and use it, so as far as everyone knows I'd just be stealing it. He'd be just fine, legally.
 
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O

overkill

Student
Jul 18, 2018
132
that's nice of him, and also fucked up.
 
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Vincent Moraes

Vincent Moraes

Member
Jul 20, 2018
66
Do you think it is a nice method? I guess it would be my method of choice only in a desperate situation. Or maybe you could just combine it with another metho, like Sodium Nitrite or Amitriptyline or even N if you can get it. I mean, just drink whatever you decide to drink, then try blowing your brains out. If the shot fails, you might still die from what you drank while dr tries to fix your blown head.
 
Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Actually my brother does want to die. He's miserable like me. He's just always been much stronger and smarter, and his mental disorders are fewer and easier to treat (basically just panic disorder).

And he said I could "take" his gun and use it, so as far as everyone knows I'd just be stealing it. He'd be just fine, legally.


If its made to look like you stole the gun, and you do go that route, make sure you delete this site completely off your phone or computer. Better yet, destroy them completely, if you dont, then they could possibly track this info, and your brother will be fucked legally.

I plan on burning my phone prior to ctb, so there will be nothing they can find.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
If its made to look like you stole the gun, and you do go that route, make sure you delete this site completely off your phone or computer. Better yet, destroy them completely, if you dont, then they could possibly track this info, and your brother will be fucked legally.

I plan on burning my phone prior to ctb, so there will be nothing they can find.


I'm throwing my phone into the ocean a few moments before ctb!
 
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I

itsallover

Arcanist
Jun 29, 2018
478
I wish I had a family member like that. All I have left is my mother and when she goes then so do I right after. I wish she would understand my pain and suffering and just let me go now. Her approval would mean so much. I would do the same for her.
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
Do you think it is a nice method? I guess it would be my method of choice only in a desperate situation. Or maybe you could just combine it with another metho, like Sodium Nitrite or Amitriptyline or even N if you can get it. I mean, just drink whatever you decide to drink, then try blowing your brains out. If the shot fails, you might still die from what you drank while dr tries to fix your blown head.

I don't even know what those things are or how to get them. I've always been under the impression that a shotgun to the head (inside the mouth) was by far the quickest and most painless way to die. Although I would want to get a bit drunk first just to help myself relax. So yeah, I would say it would be the ideal method for me
 
M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
OMG... I feel like I've been deceived. The other day while my brother was at work, I went to check out his gun just to make sure I still knew how to operate it. I wasn't even planning on using it. And the box it was in was -locked-. I feel like I've been tricked. I thought I had an easy way out, if it ever came to that. Now that's gone, and I feel worse than I did before. I feel like I'm completely trapped in this body. I don't think there's any better way to put it; I feel like I'm in hell. My whole family loves me so much that what they seem to care about more than anything else is making me happy again. I know that probably sounds like a nice thing, but for me it only makes this situation so much more difficult, constantly having to listen to inspirational speeches and how "things are going to get better." I know it doesn't do any good but I can't help but silently yell out into the void, "Somebody please help me! Somebody please kill me! Why won't the world let me die?!"

Edit: I forgot that I should probably note that my brother was high on drugs when he made this offer in the first place, so maybe when he came to his senses he realized he'd made a terrible mistake. That doesn't make me feel any better, but it at least makes this situation more understandable.
 
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