SO SAD

[Unattainable666]

I'm sure nobody gives a shit what I write but I want just one person to know that I was actually here. I have no family and no friends (not a bad thing). I've been thinking of ctb since I was 14. I was raised by a narc who literally destroyed my life before I even had a chance. I wish I could do my life over, but alas I can't. I can honestly say that I've never hurt another human being. I've tried to live my life the way I wanted to be treated. My life changed completely on the day my child was murdered. Since that day, nothing has been the same. I can't "get over it." I'm at a point now where I wish I could die in my sleep or have a heart attack and die quickly. I am going to die the way I want - NOBODY is going to tell me how or when to die. I've lived my life the way others wanted me to live (thanks to the bitch who had me). Just waiting for my sweet cat to pass on so I can go. Every day for me is excruciatingly painful (not physically) for me. I currently reside in a state that I hate - absolutely detest. I don't want to ctb here. Will go where my child is. Well, thanks for listening. Just had to vent.

 

[silent star]

I'm so sorry this world haves been so cruel to you I hope one day you find the peace and happiness you've been searching for

 

[FuneralCry]

It's truly horrible how we exist in a world where people suffer so much all through no fault of their own, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for as it's true that there is too much pain in existing.

 

[wiltingorchid]

this world is so terrible. i am so sorry that you had to lose your child, that sounds horrible. i wish you the best and hope that you find the peace you're searching for.

 

[TapeMachine]

I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I cannot imagine the emotional pain you endure on a daily basis...I am so sorry that your child is not there with you now.

 

[LateForTheBus]

I'm so sorry! I can't even imagine what it would be like to have your child murdered. You've been through so much in your life. Please know that we do care here. ((Hugs))

 

[Jezzibell]

You've lived through something unimaginable. Its stories like this that make me 100% sure that people should have the right to decide if they want to carry on. My heart aches for you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That's so sad. I'm so sorry. I don't think any of us can really grasp how devastating that must have been. I just can't imagine. Sympathies also for being raised by a narcissist. I suspect I grew up with one also and it was hell. I'm sorry you have suffered so deeply in your life.

 

[Why Me?]

thinking of ctb since I was 14. I was raised by a narc who literally destroyed my life before I even had a chance. I wish I could do my life over, but alas I can't. I can honestly say that I've never hurt another human being

My first CTB thoughts were at 10 years old. My mother was a narc monster too who purposely destroyed my life even after seeing me with suffer with medical problems. Can't believe she was able to use me for sympathy while destroying me. This is a godless world, my life has been nightmare situation with nightmare issues, and it's just getting worse, I really need to go. I hope you find peace.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

I'm sure nobody gives a shit what I write but I want just one person to know that I was actually here. I have no family and no friends (not a bad thing). I've been thinking of ctb since I was 14. I was raised by a narc who literally destroyed my life before I even had a chance. I wish I could do my life over, but alas I can't. I can honestly say that I've never hurt another human being. I've tried to live my life the way I wanted to be treated. My life changed completely on the day my child was murdered. Since that day, nothing has been the same. I can't "get over it." I'm at a point now where I wish I could die in my sleep or have a heart attack and die quickly. I am going to die the way I want - NOBODY is going to tell me how or when to die. I've lived my life the way others wanted me to live (thanks to the bitch who had me). Just waiting for my sweet cat to pass on so I can go. Every day for me is excruciatingly painful (not physically) for me. I currently reside in a state that I hate - absolutely detest. I don't want to ctb here. Will go where my child is. Well, thanks for listening. Just had to vent.

I hate the notion that we should 'get over it' or 'move on'. I can't imagine how you would even begin to get over the loss of a child. My heart goes out to you, I, and many others I imagine, most definitely give a shit about what you have written, thank you for sharing it with us