so sad..i want to die

[crybaby]

I find someone who truly understands and loves me. Our meeting was due to a coincidence.He has many painful experiences like me But he is more optimistic than me, he always comforts me when I cry. I love him very much, and he loves me too. However, I have many unsolvable reasons that make me need to suicide in August. I told him last Thursday that I was going to commit suicide. I hope he understands me and stays with me until I die. He knew I was really in pain, so he didn't persuade me not to commit suicide.But he told me he couldn't accept it. He said he was afraid of losing me.Then we did not talk for several days. I sent him a message this morning and he said that if I really want to commit suicide, just don't contact him again. He said he didn't know how to face me, he didn't want to talk to me...He said I would hurt him very much.I am really sad. I just want him to send me a message and talk to me when I commit suicide, so that I can calm down, because I am really scared. It seems to be no way now, I can only die alone in the room.My relationship with him is also over...I feel very heartbroken and lonely. I still have to wait 18 days to commit suicide, which is too long for me.I am so sad I really hope I can die now:((((( I'm sorry, I'm not good at english

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I am so sorry for your pain and sadness.

 

[WornOutLife]

Of course you're sad because of him not being with you but, you can CTB having your own personal party (as Meditation_guide suggested me). Maybe you're not in the mood but these are your last days on this world so, why not getting drunk, dance, eat your favourite food and so on?

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

My heart goes out to you, it truly does. However I have to be honest, that I see this persons point of view, just as clearly as I see yours.

I truly believe, that it is every persons right to determine their own life, and that includes their own death. Sadly, for most of us, we do not live in such a society, and those of us who do come to this choice, are labelled as unsound, not in our right minds, when we are usually in fact, thinking quite sensibly.

This line of thought however, is a double edged sword. Because just as I believe that nobody has the right to determine whether your choice is correct for you, I don't think we have the right to determine their reaction for them. It's a difficult thing to think about, the death of someone you care about. And not everyone can handle that thought in the way we might like them to. That is their right, whether it hurts us or not.

All I can say, is that this person loves you by the sounds of it. Truly cares about you. And though they may not agree with your decision, as painful as that may be to you, be comforted that you made such an impact on somebody that they felt that way about you. This is not an easy thing to read perhaps, and almost certainly not what you wanted to hear, but as always, I can only give my honest opinion. I am sad for you, for the pain that you are feeling. And I hope one way or another, you find the peace we all deserve.

 

[crybaby]

Love you guys. Your comments made me feel better. :(((((

 

[falloutcarter13]

This is so heartbreaking. I totally understand your confusion and the desire to not be alone for your last days. I also understand his side, he's planning on staying here and you have to admit, what you want/need is asking a lot of a person who doesn't have these feelings themselves. All I can say is I understand and I''ll be here for you as best I can be, you can always DM me if you need to vent or just need to make small talk to distract yourself for a while ((hugs and best wishes))

 

[crybaby]

Next week is my birthday, and my friend will hold a week party for me. I really look forward to it. I originally wanted to commit suicide after the birthday party. But now I am very entangled. I felt very lonely when he was away. I keep reading my chat history with him...I can't stop crying. My heart hurts. I feel very painful every second. Tomorrow, I will be alone in my home. This is a good opportunity for suicide. I hope someone can help me decide whether to commit suicide tomorrow or wait painfully until next week. :((((((

 

[ebt88]

What's your method?

 

[crybaby]

What's your method?

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