So many people with BPD here

[BPD Barbie]

So good. Spot on. Sometimes in a day lol.

Yeah a day is more accurate.

 

[Alec]

Well, I do have something, but not exactly everything you wrote. I think it just different to everyone. I do have pics in my head about bad and good things, sometimes when I talk to a dump ass he makes me mad so I want to crash everything around me. Sometimes I feel good emotions, that I want to hug or kiss someone, I don't care who's that, even if my enemy. But these are my emotions, this is all I have. I would never go to psychiatrist and take meds because of this. I don't want to be a robot.

I'm scared of loosing my emotions too. It's why I don't want to take any medication as well.

 

[Secrets1]

Borderline personality disorder is basically just another way to say u had been mistreated in your early development. You were traumatized, it's basically complex ptsd. It's more common because we no longer care how kids are treated. When there was focus on marriage before kids and encouragement to put the child's needs ahead of the parents it was far less common. When most women had to be married prior to pregnancy they knew there was a provider so they could stay home and focus on caring for the child. Once they encouraged women into careers and working it made it so kids now are raised by other people more.

This causes attachment problems and more stress for the infant if they are separated too much from mom in the first few years of life. So yea if your mother sees u as an inconvenience and can't attach or care for u properly in those first few years it's catastrophic to your development in your ability to form secure attachments later on. The government began to subsidize single mothers, marriage breakup, for the last 50 years and this is why there is so much more mental illness and increase in risk of abuse on kids. Also around this time they legalized abortion which if a woman has an abortion and then gets pregnant again it harms her ability to bond future children. My mother had an abortion before I was conceived which probably brought up the trauma of that first abortion making it harder to bond.

There are astute and obtuse singular points here. As a whole it's an incomplete argument with incorrect assumptions, especially regarding the prevalence of mental illness and its causes

 

[Final Escape]

There are astute and obtuse singular points here. As a whole it's an incomplete argument with incorrect assumptions to explain the prevalence of mental illness

Most mental illnesses are a result of shit parenting and neglect. This is sadly the reality. Not all mental illness but the majority. Most people can have kids without any sort of requirements to make sure they are fit. It's harder to get a damn drivers license than to become a parent these days lol! There is much less mental illness when u have intact homes with a biological mother and father in the home as the child grows up. Sure there will be abusive two parent biological homes but they are just less likely on average. If at least one of your parents is good to u that's a big deal as opposed to one mentally ill single mother for example.

 

[Secrets1]

Most mental illnesses are a result of shit parenting and neglect. This is sadly the reality. Not all mental illness but the majority. Most people can have kids without any sort of requirements to make sure they are fit. It's harder to get a damn drivers license than to become a parent these days lol! There is much less mental illness when u have intact homes with a biological mother and father in the home as the child grows up. Sure there will be abusive two parent biological homes but they are just less likely on average. If at least one of your parents is good to u that's a big deal as opposed to one mentally ill single mother for example.

this I mostly agree with but you're underestimating the biological component. There are cultural factors referenced in your last post that are hard to measure. Chalking everything up to the demise of traditional marriage or values is where you're wrong. Technology and a host of other factors like nutrition, chemicals surely play a role. And in some ways society has taken steps forward, one example is that the mindful parent has a hell of a lot more information available now to learn effective parenting.

 

[Defenestrator]

Borderline personality disorder, as we now call it, used to go by a few different names in the past. One of them was hysteria (female only) it's often mostly slapped on young women as a diagnosis too, more so than in men it seems.

People with it, you have my sympathy as it appears you guys get treated terribly by the mental health profession.

 

[R_N]

Have it too. I don't think people glorify it here thought. I do believe in mental illnesses. And no I don't think I'm being too sensitive. Although I gotta admit sometimes I doubt myself and hate myself so much that I just think "maybe I'm just overreacting, or being too sensitive" but the truth is, I'm not. Because we are all different as human beings and we feel in different ways towards things. I feel differently towards things, differently from most people it seems, but it doesn't mean it's less valid! My pain, no matter how deep it is, or if it is about something that somebody else would be ok with, it's STILL VALID! I'm ok with things that other might not be, others feel ok with things I don't feel ok with. We are all different, and some of us feel very deeply. It's still valid, just because others feel differently doesn't mean we should force ourselves to feel the same way, or pretend we are like them. We are who we are, and we feel what we feel!❤

I think you are wrong and went into a sexist place with this one. I think people in general care about treatment of kids way more now than they did before. They definitely do! Are you kidding? There's even more attention on mental health of kids now.
plus funny how you said that it's bad that women are encouraged to work so they don't spend enough time with kids so it causes relationship issues. What about fathers? They always worked and it was socially excepted for a father not be involved in upbringing of a child almost at all, that didn't cause any relationship problems for a child?
I'm not trying to jump at your throat here, I don't know you enough to call you a sexist, but what you said has a lot of things wrong with it, in a sexist way as well. And I can't even write every single way that wrong about it cuz I have a splitting headache and am barely writing this right now.
Edit: I also wanted to add that it sounds like you are trying to say that people should stay married even if they are miserable together and nobody should encourage divorce and the government shouldn't help divorced parents because it encourages divorce too. Which is insane in itself. But also, children of parents who force themselves to stay together, especially when they do it for the child, get damaged even more than children of divorced parents ever could. Because then children start blaming themselves for their parents misery and they see their parents fighting and being unhappy every single day, it's a horrible environment to grow up in. It also sounded like you are trying to say that abortion should be illegal, which is just sickening. Having an abortion doesn't prevent a person from bonding with their future kids, personal trauma that comes from people that say that abortion is murder is what can cause it happen. Or it just depends on a person, don't try to make illegal abortion for everyone because it went a certain way for you and your mother, everyone else are not you and your mother they should have the right to make that decision for themselves!❤

Final escape is female.

 

[mathieu]

I have been diagnosed with it along with either bipolar or schizoaffective. I'm not sure I believe it I just know something is very wrong.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

As someone else said, BPD has probably the highest suicide rate of mental health conditions. I'm also Bipolar and having both of them is just..... Shoot me now tbh. Because of the high rate of suicide there are going to be more of us in one place that discusses the topic. It's also becoming more common, as are personality disorders in general as more people are pushed to talk about mental health these days, meaning more diagnosis will be made.

I also am bipolar and have BPD, it's so terrible. I'm sorry that you have to deal with both of them. I wouldn't wish BPD on my worst enemy, let alone adding bipolar into the mix..
.-.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I also am bipolar and have BPD, it's so terrible. I'm sorry that you have to deal with both of them. I wouldn't wish BPD on my worst enemy, let alone adding bipolar into the mix..
.-.

The only thing I like about Bipolar is the mania, man I'm so productive when I get manic. WOOOO. But I never know if I'm being normal or if I'm being manic, don't even remember what normal feels like.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

The only thing I like about Bipolar is the mania, man I'm so productive when I get manic. WOOOO. But I never know if I'm being normal or if I'm being manic, don't even remember what normal feels like.

I can relate to this so much. I get so much stuff done when I'm manic, as long as I finish before the crash. I feel like I'm constantly in a state of at least partial mania so it's also hard for me to tell (unless it's really obvious). It's either up or down, black or white. I get used to it, but it sure would be nice to plateau once a month for a bit.

 

[R_N]

Even tho I felt bad and was oversensitive my whole life, having an actual health issue is much much worse for me, it made my life complete hell. I wish I never messed with psychiatry. Feeling bad was nothing compared to suffering I endure now.

 

[LittleJem]

Borderline personality disorder is basically just another way to say u had been mistreated in your early development. You were traumatized, it's basically complex ptsd. It's more common because we no longer care how kids are treated. When there was focus on marriage before kids and encouragement to put the child's needs ahead of the parents it was far less common. When most women had to be married prior to pregnancy they knew there was a provider so they could stay home and focus on caring for the child. Once they encouraged women into careers and working it made it so kids now are raised by other people more.

This causes attachment problems and more stress for the infant if they are separated too much from mom in the first few years of life. So yea if your mother sees u as an inconvenience and can't attach or care for u properly in those first few years it's catastrophic to your development in your ability to form secure attachments later on. The government began to subsidize single mothers, marriage breakup, for the last 50 years and this is why there is so much more mental illness and increase in risk of abuse on kids. Also around this time they legalized abortion which if a woman has an abortion and then gets pregnant again it harms her ability to bond future children. My mother had an abortion before I was conceived which probably brought up the trauma of that first abortion making it harder to bond.

I would say there is so much trauma in so many marriages - we can't put everything on single mothers, many of whom do a good job. What about all the marriages with domestic violence, alcoholism, addiction - marriage does not solve everything unfortunately.

The abortion debate is never a good one to get into - but I am so grateful I had that option, because otherwise I would have a child along with chronic depression and suicidality where I cannot get out of bed. Which would not have been fair on any child. I grew up with a mother with mental illness, and thereis no way I would have a child and put my child through that pain. I took an informed decision to not have children for this reason - and I am sad about this sometimes - but I one hundred per cent know this is the responsible decision. My birth control failed, but now I have much better birth control.

I have all sympathies for your trauma - but blaming single mums and abortions is not the cause of trauma. Women need decent birth control, as well as support when they have children.

Interestingly, there is a woman going around America offering money to drug addicted women to go on long acting birth control or to be sterilised. There are so many children in the care system not being properly looked after, or with the trauma of not having their birth parents. All of these things need to be thought about to avoid extra suffering.
@Alec just everything you said. You said it all better than me - thank you!!!

I also have a headache - hope yours gets better.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Yeah a day is more accurate.

I was about to say lol. I will say my mom when she was with my dad, she just thought he was an asshole (same with me) until I got some answers and now it seems things are making sense to her at least. She would ask me if I could just get over it type of questions so I know she just needed some education on the matter. Now that she does, she just feels bad for not understanding in the past ("you won't kill yourself" when he did) since mental illness really has only been in the spotlight for the past 5-10yrs.

To me it was obvious always hearing about my dad's side of the family and how proud they were to be them, rough and tough grrrrrr... no mom, they're all ill as fuck and strung out on drugs or alcohol lol I guess I'm saying I hate how naive people can be? If this all makes sense.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I was about to say lol. I will say my mom when she was with my dad, she just thought he was an asshole (same with me) until I got some answers and now it seems things are making sense to her at least. She would ask me if I could just get over it type of questions so I know she just needed some education on the matter. Now that she does, she just feels bad for not understanding in the past ("you won't kill yourself" when he did) since mental illness really has only been in the spotlight for the past 5-10yrs.

To me it was obvious always hearing about my dad's side of the family and how proud they were to be them, rough and tough grrrrrr... no mom, they're all ill as fuck and strung out on drugs or alcohol lol I guess I'm saying I hate how naive people can be? If this all makes sense.

I had the same with my family. They just thought I had an attitude or was attention seeking. Now they know, they feel bad for the past and what was said.

 

[Sensei]

As someone else said, BPD has probably the highest suicide rate of mental health conditions.

According to all estimates I've found, the suicide rate for bipolar disorder is at least twice as high as that for borderline personality disorder. Together with schizophrenia, it probably has the next highest suicide rate for any group in society after bipolar disorder, though.

And because of my bad experience with psychiatry I seriously don't even believe in mental illnesses.

So, when people suffering from schizophrenia have delusions, hallucinations, and commit suicide, they just imagine that they are mentally ill? I'm sure that's a real comfort for them and their families.

There are astute and obtuse singular points here. As a whole it's an incomplete argument with incorrect assumptions, especially regarding the prevalence of mental illness and its causes

That's quite sweeping. Maybe you should explain what points are astute and obtuse, and why its an incomplete argument with incorrect assumptions. It's not very constructive to simply say, "you're wrong", in a discussion.

 

[Empty Smile]

 

[BPD Barbie]

According to all estimates I've found, the suicide rate for bipolar disorder is at least twice as high as that for borderline personality disorder. Together with schizophrenia, it probably has the next highest suicide rate for any group in society after bipolar disorder, though.

Oh boy lol I'm fucked. Have both lol.

 

[mayflower]

I'm 50 and bpd and exhausted with the effort from life. Ive made my decision bit i have a grown up son so it's holding me ba k. Bit only yesterday my so called best friend said she'd only speak with me by message and not face to face because my unpredictably is too difficult for her to cope with. I understand. It's f***ing difficult for me to cope with too

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

But according to my ex and everyone else I never really tried or listen.

They are right. I finally started to do what I needed to last year but then destroyed everything.

In my observation, these are functions of BPD that make it so challenging and perpetually isolating. It is not one's fault that they have it, and it creates such problems in managing and maintaining life and relationships.

I had a long-term best friend who was brilliant, perceptive, funny, talented, and presented as having -- truly suffering from -- BPD. She could not support as she needed to be supported, she could not listen, she could not consistently apply what worked when she did listen, suffered in consistently applying when she did, and her supports and relationships eventually wore out or were destroyed, pushing her to ever new bridges which would likely eventually be burned as well. She was also very suicidal. I feel so impotent. She is not the cause of the problem, but it presents as her. I miss her but cannot have her back in my life again, because every time I welcomed her back, the relationship challenges got worse, even more boundaries assaulted and overrun -- not by her, but by BPD. I get that it is a way of functioning caused by boundary assaults. It is so heartbreaking. I ache for all those who suffer it and are impacted by it.

Not that labels are good, but perhaps a better name for it would be bridge burning disorder. It's certainly a more apt descriptor than borderline personality disorder. But either way, the labels marginalize and isolate. Labels do that. They do not invite inclusion, support, or innovative solution-seeking. They are like putting out a hand against the sufferer and saying stop. In response, what solution may end up forthcoming? To stop existing. Oh hooray, more hopelessness. It's all so unceasingly frustrating and heart wrenching.

 

[ansuperhero]

Edit: I also wanted to add that it sounds like you are trying to say that people should stay married even if they are miserable together and nobody should encourage divorce and the government shouldn't help divorced parents because it encourages divorce too. Which is insane in itself. But also, children of parents who force themselves to stay together, especially when they do it for the child, get damaged even more than children of divorced parents ever could. Because then children start blaming themselves for their parents misery and they see their parents fighting and being unhappy every single day, it's a horrible environment to grow up in. It also sounded like you are trying to say that abortion should be illegal, which is just sickening. Having an abortion doesn't prevent a person from bonding with their future kids, personal trauma that comes from people that say that abortion is murder is what can cause it happen. Or it just depends on a person, don't try to make illegal abortion for everyone because it went a certain way for you and your mother, everyone else are not you and your mother they should have the right to make that decision for themselves!❤

I don't necessarily agree with Final Escape, but all I want to say is that you're doing some god-tier mind-reading. I mean, if you can read minds that well, if you can connect the dots that well, you've ought to be a psychic!
The reason for this is because you say "it sounds like" and then you start to go off on a tangent. You are contorting your perceived opponent's views in orders to knock them down like straw men.
You should have probably asked for clarification from them before somehow being able to know their exact position even though they didn't espouse many of the specific things you claimed. Just because they portrayed something as being negative in a certain way doesn't mean you can conclude that they want to do away with it entirely.
You also conclude that they are taking a "sexist" view of things, presumably based on this foundation of mind-reading you have done.

 

[R_N]

According to all estimates I've found, the suicide rate for bipolar disorder is at least twice as high as that for borderline personality disorder. Together with schizophrenia, it probably has the next highest suicide rate for any group in society after bipolar disorder, though.


So, when people suffering from schizophrenia have delusions, hallucinations, and commit suicide, they just imagine that they are mentally ill? I'm sure that's a real comfort for them and their families.


That's quite sweeping. Maybe you should explain what points are astute and obtuse, and why its an incomplete argument with incorrect assumptions. It's not very constructive to simply say, "you're wrong", in a discussion.

I knew someone will bring it up. Yeah I am mistaken about those "disorders" but everything else I am really skeptical about based on my experience. Seeking "help" for my "bpd" was the worst thing I did.

 

[Sensei]

I knew someone will bring it up. Yeah I am mistaken about those disorders but everything else I am really skeptical about based on my experience. Seeking "help" for my "bpd" was the worst thing I did.

I think it's obvious that psychotherapy and medication don't work for everyone. In fact, it would be strange if they did..

 

[R_N]

I think it's obvious that psychotherapy and medication don't work for everyone. In fact, it would be strange if they did..

The problem is that not only it didn't work for me, meds gave me severe side effects. There are many people who suffer the consequences of psych meds. If you don't believe try some websites like "surviving antidepressants" and you will see what kind of hell those people experienced with no end in sight.

 

[Sensei]

The problem is that not only it didn't work for me, meds gave me severe side effects. There are many people who suffer the consequences of psych meds. If you don't believe try some websites like "surviving antidepressants" and you will see what kind of hell those people experienced with no end in sight.

I do believe you. It's well documented that they can have adverse effects, sometimes outright dangerous. Heck, I've even suffered some adverse effects myself. I think it's sad that psychiatrists in some countries seem to be all too eager to prescribe strong medicines without proper preparation and evaluation. Healthcare shouldn't be private and commercial, in my opinion.

 

[The Warm Industry]

The problem is that not only it didn't work for me, meds gave me severe side effects. There are many people who suffer the consequences of psych meds. If you don't believe try some websites like "surviving antidepressants" and you will see what kind of hell those people experienced with no end in sight.

I know how you feel. When I got diagnosed, I started using heavy doses of Venlafaxine which, for the most part, left me empty as you can imagine. I used to feel like a zombie just so I couldn't hurt me or anyone around me. And, to be fair, when I was on that med, I used to feel way worse than without it. The only difference is that I didn't have any strenght to do anything. And I couldn't feel any kind of desires (to do anything) neither. It felt like I could do something horrible but I wasn't 'programmed' to do so.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

View attachment 25485

Nailed it!

 

[ansuperhero]

And because of my bad experience with psychiatry I seriously don't even believe in mental illnesses.

Mental illness does exist (for example, it could be hereditary). It's just far more common nowadays than a few centuries ago due to how complex the modern age is, along with people sleeping less, having lower quality sleep, and having free time that they also dedicate to complex activities.
While there were obviously neurotic people centuries and even millennia ago, they did not compose as high a percentage of the population as today. To be fair, modern treatment has helped those with severe disorders who might have been screwed in the past (like those with bipolar).
Mental illness should probably be measured as a percentage or number of traits rather than merely declaring that someone has X disorder.
A potential reason for why extreme wartime (such as Britain in World War 2) allegedly brought down mental illness cases was due to how people are able to focus their life on one thing and unite as a whole. Nowadays, this is going in the opposite direction, for the media is built on the basis of spewing out as much divisional hysteria as possible in order to make maximum profit.
There is a monetary incentive to prescribe psychoactive medications to people deemed mentally ill, so I would not recommend that route unless one's issues were so bad to the point of being completely unbearable.

Basically, society and the media induce mental illness in people, and then the former encourages those same people to take medication while the latter run drug ads listing a thousand awful symptoms.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Borderline personality disorder is basically just another way to say u had been mistreated in your early development. You were traumatized, it's basically complex ptsd. It's more common because we no longer care how kids are treated. When there was focus on marriage before kids and encouragement to put the child's needs ahead of the parents it was far less common. When most women had to be married prior to pregnancy they knew there was a provider so they could stay home and focus on caring for the child. Once they encouraged women into careers and working it made it so kids now are raised by other people more.

This causes attachment problems and more stress for the infant if they are separated too much from mom in the first few years of life. So yea if your mother sees u as an inconvenience and can't attach or care for u properly in those first few years it's catastrophic to your development in your ability to form secure attachments later on. The government began to subsidize single mothers, marriage breakup, for the last 50 years and this is why there is so much more mental illness and increase in risk of abuse on kids. Also around this time they legalized abortion which if a woman has an abortion and then gets pregnant again it harms her ability to bond future children. My mother had an abortion before I was conceived which probably brought up the trauma of that first abortion making it harder to bond.

This is an excellent description.
Im fucking pissed that I have this shit & didnt till I found out at 40 years old. After my WHOLE LIFE GOT RUINED. My emotional trauma was hidden in plain sight.... fuck this. Im killing myself cause of this. I refuse to live the rest of my life as a goddammed emotional invalid. ESPECIALLY after all this damn failure & tragedy for 4 decades. There aint enought therApy to bring ME BACK MY FUCKING LIFE! its gone! Wasted! College, high achool, career, family, partner, marriage, goals, health, social circle, spirituality, sexuality, personal development, financial independance, emotional growth... ALL IN RUINS! ALL FAILURE! ALL EITHER NEVER HAD OR GOT DESTROYED....

And now that Im old, fat, worn out, lost the love of my life, gained 100 pounds in a year, about to be homeless again, 40 with no real structure of a life or resources.. full of emptiness & only lifes goal is to find true live... Im supposed to pick up the pieces and be grateful that what?...
That Its better late than never? Fuck that! No platitudes will suffice for a wasted life. Id rather die than live the rest of my life as a consolation prize for the one I really wanted. Until the world of psychology can build a time machine... I have no use for it..

Like in Princess Bride: "BPD killed my life, prepare to die..." I WANT MY LIFE BACK YOU SONOFABITCH! I was robbed of the most pre oous thing I can never get back. The best I can do is pull of the most epic suicide as I can and exit this shithole of an exsistence before I lose the right to that too.
Im fucking pissed that I have this shit & didnt till I found out at 40 years old. After my WHOLE LIFE GOT RUINED. My emotional trauma was hidden in plain sight.... fuck this. Im killing myself cause of this. I refuse to live the rest of my life as a goddammed emotional invalid. ESPECIALLY after all this damn failure & tragedy for 4 decades. There aint enought therApy to bring ME BACK MY FUCKING LIFE! its gone! Wasted! College, high achool, career, family, partner, marriage, goals, health, social circle, spirituality, sexuality, personal development, financial independance, emotional growth... ALL IN RUINS! ALL FAILURE! ALL EITHER NEVER HAD OR GOT DESTROYED....

And now that Im old, fat, worn out, lost the love of my life, gained 100 pounds in a year, about to be homeless again, 40 with no real structure of a life or resources.. full of emptiness & only lifes goal is to find true live... Im supposed to pick up the pieces and be grateful that what?...
That Its better late than never? Fuck that! No platitudes will suffice for a wasted life. Id rather die than live the rest of my life as a consolation prize for the one I really wanted. Until the world of psychology can build a time machine... I have no use for it..

Like in Princess Bride: "BPD killed my life, prepare to die..." I WANT MY LIFE BACK YOU SONOFABITCH! I was robbed of the most pre oous thing I can never get back. The best I can do is pull of the most epic suicide as I can and exit this shithole of an exsistence before I lose the right to that too.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Many good points here.
Bpd is one of my diagnoses, and I want to just die all day everyday, 24/7/365, ever since I was a child.
Ive been fucked over repeatedly and have a lot of trauma.
I dont believe in mental illness too, because of the stigma all doctors treat me like Im human trash, tell me Im attention seeking and bail when I aks for long term treatment.
It feels like a 3rd degree burn on my emotions.
Fuck this shit


(I really want to jump off a bridge again right now)