So many options….

[GreenerPastures]

I'm seriously stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I've got a potential business startup happening with some co- workers and we are looking at equipment. But I can't commit to the business because of plans to ctb. I can't tell my co workers I don't want to do the business because I have plans to ctb by the end of the month. So I act all enthused and amped up for it.. but at the end of the day, for me Atleast.. biggest feeling of dread ever. I've degraded to a point mentally that working is getting taxing. Sure I drive trucks, but when I can *usually* go 8 or 10 hours without a pee or a yawn.. and now I'm struggling to keep my eyes open just after 2 hours. It just bothers me. I did a 10hr drive today and had to stop every 45 minutes. I don't get it.

Ideally, I would like to purchase the equipment for the new business then dip and ctb, so they have paid off brand new shit.
but moneys tight and we're in a recession. I could take out a loan for the equipment, ctb, and bam loophole.. but unfortunately I would need a business load with business credit for that, which I have none of.

It just sucks. I understand that ctb is inevitable , I just wish I could load up on manmade money before I go and change some lives for the better

 

[Smart No More]

Also your debt gets passed on to your next of kin in some places.

Are you depressed? It's pretty common for that to cause people to be tired and struggle with concentration. I don't know your reason for wanting to ctb so it's hard to say anything but if you're in a pkace where you'd like to get better then I would chat with a doctor about your fatigue. You may get some decent medication to help on that front. I don't know what but stimulants spring to mind. They do usually come with a crappy xomedown though so maybe not ideal.

With regards to your colleagues and the business plans I guess just avoid being an invaluable cog in the mechanics of it. That way you won't leave a gap in their plans when you do ctb. I get what you mean though, about wanting to leave a bit of positivity for them. It's a shame.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so tiring what you are going through and I understand that it is hard to carry on when everything feels so hopeless. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[GreenerPastures]

Also your debt gets passed on to your next of kin in some places.

Are you depressed? It's pretty common for that to cause people to be tired and struggle with concentration. I don't know your reason for wanting to ctb so it's hard to say anything but if you're in a pkace where you'd like to get better then I would chat with a doctor about your fatigue. You may get some decent medication to help on that front. I don't know what but stimulants spring to mind. They do usually come with a crappy xomedown though so maybe not ideal.

With regards to your colleagues and the business plans I guess just avoid being an invaluable cog in the mechanics of it. That way you won't leave a gap in their plans when you do ctb. I get what you mean though, about wanting to leave a bit of positivity for them. It's a shame.

Yeah, I've been clinically diagnosed with depression along with PTSD, anxiety, long with bipolar type 1. I've been prescribed damn near every Medication on the planet and they either didn't work, or made my situation worse. Weed is the only thing that seems to help. So that's what I use

 

[Smart No More]

Yeah, I've been clinically diagnosed with depression along with PTSD, anxiety, long with bipolar type 1. I've been prescribed damn near every Medication on the planet and they either didn't work, or made my situation worse. Weed is the only thing that seems to help. So that's what I use

I'm not sure how keen you are as far as looking for solutions now. A lot of people are past that so I'm cautious of trying to be too helpful in fear of appearing disrespectful or annoying people that just want to get on with CTB. I have been looking into ketamine treatment recently though and can't resist suggesting it on the off chance. It seems pretty promising but is only offered to people that are treatment resistant and even then it can be hard to get. Not all insurance covers it or they only cover it partially and I think its around $500 per session. Some only have one. Others have a series of around 6 sessions. Apparently using recreational ketamine doesn't do the same job. Not sure why not tbh. Maybe they just say that. I'm guessing they use a specific ratio in the infusions though. Either way, if you're feeling like trying something last chance saloon I'd suggest that. The people that had it sing it's praises after years of debilitating depression.

Sorry things are so shit man! It's a horrible place to be in. I know.

 

[GreenerPastures]

I'm not sure how keen you are as far as looking for solutions now. A lot of people are past that so I'm cautious of trying to be too helpful in fear of appearing disrespectful or annoying people that just want to get on with CTB. I have been looking into ketamine treatment recently though and can't resist suggesting it on the off chance. It seems pretty promising but is only offered to people that are treatment resistant and even then it can be hard to get. Not all insurance covers it or they only cover it partially and I think its around $500 per session. Some only have one. Others have a series of around 6 sessions. Apparently using recreational ketamine doesn't do the same job. Not sure why not tbh. Maybe they just say that. I'm guessing they use a specific ratio in the infusions though. Either way, if you're feeling like trying something last chance saloon I'd suggest that. The people that had it sing it's praises after years of debilitating depression.

Sorry things are so shit man! It's a horrible place to be in. I know.

I have definitely heard about ketamine, and I was going to say I have used it recreationally before and it did not work, so your post actually makes a lot of sense. I could look into it again, but if I wanted to look into a last chance drug it would be Ayahuasca / DMT. I've had a full blown blast off from DMT in the past and if anything, In DMT world I felt closer to answers there than I've ever felt on earth. Hard to explain

 

[Smart No More]

I have definitely heard about ketamine, and I was going to say I have used it recreationally before and it did not work, so your post actually makes a lot of sense. I could look into it again, but if I wanted to look into a last chance drug it would be Ayahuasca / DMT. I've had a full blown blast off from DMT in the past and if anything, In DMT world I felt closer to answers there than I've ever felt on earth. Hard to explain

With the ketamine treatment they say its not really the trip but the after effects. Apparently due to it's dissasociative effects. They put you on an infusion for like 40 minutes and then bring you round. Patients then report the benefits over the following days. The trip itself doesn't seem to come with any profound realisations. I think it's more like a resetting of the system so that it sort of reboots and starts functioning correctly. A bit like rebooting a glitching computer. Truth is they don't fully understand it. They just know it works. It appeals to me because my system is messed up. I'm not depressed but an illness triggered some weird issues in my system and seemingly damaged my cognition and memory. A reboot might help me return to my old self. Purely a hopeful theory in my case. :)

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Sorry I've been watching a lot of BoJack Horseman lately...