Venting So mad right now

[Throwmyselfaway]

I'm having a day so I left to go drive a bit. As soon as I got home the anger welled up again. First let me state I would never harm anyone else. This is more like I'm gonna punch a wall or throw something. Normally it's my sadness and depression and I get down from that and that's when I feel the most likely to ctb. Tonight it's more out of anger. I had to set my sn down and be like nope nope nope not today I'm too mad this will pass. I don't want to go out impulsively. It will be planned. And it just dawned on me what happened. I drove past a house that triggered a horrible memory and it set of my ptsd. There's other things making me upset but that did it. There are so few things I can plan out but ctb is one thing that I will plan and not just do it out of the blue.

 

[faust]

Sorry, this might be only my opinion, but I think that you can CTB only when you are ready. If you are not feeling up to do this, then probably you can do that another day. I think I would miss my bus too, just wouldn't like to end this in such a mood.
Anyway, hope you will find your piece

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Sorry, this might be only my opinion, but I think that you can CTB only when you are ready. If you are not feeling up to do this, then probably you can do that another day. I think I would miss my bus too, just wouldn't like to end this in such a mood.
Anyway, hope you will find your piece

your opinion is perfect and is my thinking. I rather miss my bus right now then do it impulsively in the wrong frame of mind . Thank you

 

[faust]

your opinion is perfect and is my thinking. I rather miss my bus right now then do it impulsively in the wrong frame of mind . Thank you ❤

Thank you too! If you need us, please, feel free to talk

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Thank you too! If you need us, please, feel free to talk

I feel like I have finally found my people on here :) only place I can freely speak of such things. It truly has become my safe haven.

 

[faust]

I feel like I have finally found my people on here :) only place I can freely speak of such things. It truly has become my safe haven.

Same with me. Cannot talk about that in my real life. It is like playing a lucky wheel where the winnings are: condemnation, judgement, vain tries to stop me, long lectures and making me stupid, who does not know how to live this life. But this forum is the second home for me. Even the first. Because I do not consider any places where I live(-d) a home.

 

[mesohappy]

Raging against memories and fighting against ghosts is hard..Thats when its a good time to have some exercise equipment or a good heavy bag.Redirect that shit..I know how it feels though.Ive put my hands through a few walls.