Story So, i guess this is goodbye

[Made4TV]

I'm glad our paths crossed, if only marginally. Wish you everything you want.

 

[Donewith_]

Very disheartening to see this actually. Your company meant a lot to me in this despair. Will miss you.
Hope it'll be peaceful for you. It takes a lot to cross over to the other side. Feel free to come here if anything goes in unexpected way. Nothing wrong with that. Things have their own way to fuck up sometimes. Hope everything goes well for you :)

 

[ouvreyes]

Happy for you. Will definitely feel the space you leave behind on this site. Safe travels, man. Find the peace you deserve.

 

[Throwaway563078]

Dearly hope you find the peace you're searching for. All the best to you

 

[NewDelhiGuy]

Good luck
I hope you find peace

 

[RottingFlowerBrains]

I hopeyou find the peace you deserve my bro RM5998. i love you so much and ill miss you even more.. thank you for being an amazing friend to me here during your time

Forever in my heart RM.. i wish you goodluck and may we meet again ♡♡

 

[Lizzie S.]

Sad to see you go but happy that you will find peace

 

[crova]

Safe passage! Take care.

 

[onewayroad]

I hope you have a painless and peaceful journey out of this terrible world

 

[invisiblycrippled]

I wish you all the best - peace, love, happiness, and everything else you couldn't get here. And may the things pass that led you to this point. Let's meet up some day... :)

 

[your pathologist]

I'm a little late, but thank you for the mention. I enjoyed your contributions to the box. I'm sorry it had to be this way...
Rest In Peace. Here's to something better... or nothing at all. -raises glass
Goodbye

 

[Rex]

I wish you a peaceful exit. Ad astra.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Damn, dude.. I wish you all the best of luck, man. See you on the other side.

 

[Dani Paradox]

I'm worried Caustic Cardinals is dead. Did she say anything to you?

I've been wondering, myself. We talked a lot and then she disappeared randomly...

 

[Jen Erik]

You were one of the first people on here to help me out, thanks for that.

Wish you peace.

 

[Voldmort]

good luck, reach for peace

 

[RM5998]

Yeah... I can't bring myself to do it.

And now, I don't know if I ever will.

Seems I'm just a fucking coward.

 

[Mr2005]

It's nothing to be ashamed of. Look at all the people whose lives you affected

 

[your pathologist]

Yeah... I can't bring myself to do it.

And now, I don't know if I ever will.

Seems I'm just a fucking coward.

No shame in being afraid RM
If it was so easy, this sight would be a ghost town

 

[worldexploder]

Yeah... I can't bring myself to do it.

And now, I don't know if I ever will.

Seems I'm just a fucking coward.

You are not a coward. The fear of suffering is very real and built into the human species unfortunately. I know it's annoying as hell. I remember when I failed at partial hanging how disappointed I was that I was so close. Couldn't bring myself to try that method again. You deserve respect. We all care about you.

 

[worldexploder]

No shame in being afraid RM
If it was so easy, this sight would be a ghost town

Very well said. You think I'd be here if I wasn't afraid? Hell no!

 

[worldexploder]

Also don't listen to people who say "if you really wanted to die you would have killed yourself already". People told me that before and it was painful to hear because it's not true. These assholes most likely never even thought about CTB or how scary it is to attempt. People underestimate how hard CTB really is.

 

[sadsoul]

Also don't listen to people who say "if you really wanted to die you would have killed yourself already". People told me that before and it was painful to hear because it's not true. These assholes most likely never even thought about CTB or how scary it is to attempt. People underestimate how hard CTB really is.

Often it's pro-lifers who say this and I'm always like ¿? are you implying I should try harder ?¿ like cmon if you want someone to stay alive why would you invalidate their feelings and basically tell them they should prove how serious they are by killing themselves

 

[TiredHorse]

Yeah... I can't bring myself to do it.

And now, I don't know if I ever will.

Seems I'm just a fucking coward.

Go easy on yourself. As Your Pathologist said, if it were easy, this place would be a ghost town. And no one is expecting you to ctb. No one here is waiting with scorecards --9.5, 9.2, 9.6, 9.6, and a 7.3 from the pro-lifer judge...

I'm still working myself up for attempt #4. Theoretically tomorrow night but I'm already getting twitches of fear and I don't know whether I'll make it.

 

[TiredHorse]

Also don't listen to people who say "if you really wanted to die you would have killed yourself already". People told me that before and it was painful to hear because it's not true. These assholes most likely never even thought about CTB or how scary it is to attempt. People underestimate how hard CTB really is.

AMEN!

 

[worldexploder]

Often it's pro-lifers who say this and I'm always like ¿? are you implying I should try harder ?¿ like cmon if you want someone to stay alive why would you invalidate their feelings and basically tell them they should prove how serious they are by killing themselves

It's a propaganda tactic these fuckers use to try and humiliate us or make us question ourselves.

 

[Rex]

You're not a coward, survival instinct is strong and sadly that's just how it is. Feel better soon, don't be too rough on yourself either. You have been a pleasure to be around, it's nice to have you here still.

 

[Fucking loving it]

I'm worried Caustic Cardinals is dead. Did she say anything to you?

She's not

 

[Sayo]

Fear and cowardice are not 1:1.

I'm sorry you went through that, though.

 

[Sickofit]

This will be the first and last thread I start here. I wanted the count to remain at zero, but... well, we make do with what we get. Hopefully, I won't be coming back with my tail between my legs.

I would like to thank @Nofaith for giving me the courage to post this. And @Donewith_, @Giih, @Aesthler, @dabedoc and @Desperate_Soul for the conversations we've had. And @Caustic Cardinals, @weedoge, @Sayo, @Ben, @Miss clefable, @Mr2005, @Morning Angel, @invisiblycrippled, @Nem (DEATH!), @fuckthis, @your pathologist, @lv-gras, @EvilAngelGoddess, @Lovemykids, @RottingFlowerBrains, @MachineGunDani, @naia_ and everyone else I've forgotten to mention for being the kind, supportive and open-minded people that you have been. And finally, to everyone on this site (especially the mods and the admins), for maintaining an incredibly supportive space for people who have a very difficult choice to make.

I'm planning to CTB today. I have about 18 hours left in the day, and lots of cleaning up to do. So, before I lose composure and start typing nonsense, I would like to say goodbye to all of you, and thank you for your time. It was a great pleasure to know you all.

Good bye and good luck, everyone. I wish all of you find some measure of peace, happiness, salvation or whatever else you are looking for, whether in life or in death.

Rest in a better place buddy.