Story So I guess my problem is that I have a "bad personality"

[Zetsubou]

More venting time! Last time, I talked about the incompetency of the doctor's office and how I wasn't able to find a psychiatrist who was readily available for an appointment. Shortly after posting that thread, I actually managed to find a psychiatrist who is not only available next week, but also accepts my insurance. I immediately booked an appointment, then completed the patient forms and confirmed everything by phone a few days later. I wanted to update my progress, but I decided to wait until I've actually met with the psychiatrist and see if this will be worth my time. Overall, I'm both excited and nervous to see where my next step will lead me.

Cut to today, however. I've gotten into an argument with someone who I thought was supporting me during my recovery. The argument itself isn't important, but at the end they told me that I don't have any psychiatric problems, I just have a bad personality and that's the cause for all of my troubles. Basically, they implied that going to a psychiatrist is a waste of time because they won't be able to fix my personality.

Wow, thanks for bringing back my suicidal ideation. I'm almost tempted to just cancel my appointment altogether because what if it's true? What if it's all a waste of time since there's nothing that can fix my "bad personality?" I guess this is just the mental illness talking, but I'm getting sick of people putting me down when I'm actually trying to improve my situation.

 

[jlwww08271965]

Hi Zetsu.. wow, that person sounds really dense.. like they are the ones who should be examining their "personality"!

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. From your writing, you sound like a perfectly nice, smart person. It's ironic but it seems people around us can be toxic.. even when we are struggling.. some people, dare I say, do more harm than good, when they're supposed to be friends.

Ignore this person… I hope you will!

Sending hugs.

Ps how did it go w the doc?

 

[SoftWorries]

Your personality isn't set in stone. I used to have a lot of panic attacks often set off by mean people who thought I had a bad temper and personality. Now I'm only around people who would say I have a great personality because they are kind people who never say or do things to hurt me.

I grew past many of the people in my life who "understood me" because they only understood the saddest parts in me which reflected the saddest parts in them.

I read a short story in a book called Life Ceremony about a girl who had 5 completely different personalities depending on who she was spending time with. Her best friend suggested that if she was confronted about it to reveal a manufactured 6th personality of a miserable person. That was because people see hate and misery as authenticity at least according to the friend.

In my life now I'm allowed to be very sad and still be recognized as a person with plenty of goodness. It seems that that person doesn't see or want to see the full you. Someone like that isn't worth any of your time.

 

[Zetsubou]

Hi Zetsu.. wow, that person sounds really dense.. like they are the ones who should be examining their "personality"!

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. From your writing, you sound like a perfectly nice, smart person. It's ironic but it seems people around us can be toxic.. even when we are struggling.. some people, dare I say, do more harm than good, when they're supposed to be friends.

Ignore this person… I hope you will!

Sending hugs.

Ps how did it go w the doc?

Your personality isn't set in stone. I used to have a lot of panic attacks often set off by mean people who thought I had a bad temper and personality. Now I'm only around people who would say I have a great personality because they are kind people who never say or do things to hurt me.

I grew past many of the people in my life who "understood me" because they only understood the saddest parts in me which reflected the saddest parts in them.

I read a short story in a book called Life Ceremony about a girl who had 5 completely different personalities depending on who she was spending time with. Her best friend suggested that if she was confronted about it to reveal a manufactured 6th personality of a miserable person. That was because people see hate and misery as authenticity at least according to the friend.

In my life now I'm allowed to be very sad and still be recognized as a person with plenty of goodness. It seems that that person doesn't see or want to see the full you. Someone like that isn't worth any of your time.

Thank you both, your responses made me feel a little better. It'll be a bit hard to ignore this person, but I will keep moving forward with my recovery. My appointment is next week, so I don't know what the doctor is like, but I will provide an update. I'll also check out Life Ceremony, it sounds like an interesting read!

 

[SoftWorries]

Life Ceremony is really great. I would equally recommend Her Body and Other Parties. Both are fantastic short story collections that are sweet/strange/spooky. They're both super strong but you'll like some stories from one or the other better.

If you'd like the audiobooks let me know I'll link you to a site. I've been listening to about one book a day to help with my mental health.

 

[Zetsubou]

Life Ceremony is really great. I would equally recommend Her Body and Other Parties. Both are fantastic short story collections that are sweet/strange/spooky. They're both super strong but you'll like some stories from one or the other better.

If you'd like the audiobooks let me know I'll link you to a site. I've been listening to about one book a day to help with my mental health.

I used to listen to Audible, but I cancelled since I needed to cut back on some of my subscription fees. I would love to hear some website recommendations!

 

[SoftWorries]

I used to listen to Audible, but I cancelled since I needed to cut back on some of my subscription fees. I would love to hear some website recommendations!

https://audiobookbay.li/ has torrents of pretty much every book I've looked for. It has a huge selection. I also have two library cards so I can listen to audiobooks on Libby. It's a great app to find books when you register a couple libraries. The library websites were pretty poor so I love that app.

 

[Valky]

From experience I can tell you, they are mostly the problem. I had this too and with someone who was supposed to help me, someone from CPS. They worked against me. They were not there to help me but to set up a life that THEY seemed to be the best and when I admitted concerns of it not working or harming me, I was the problem.

 

[Solek]

Are you going to put all the work you've done to waste, due to their opinion?
Stay strong and atleast try, your issues won't be fixed by themselves.
You managed to take the 1st step that many couldn't or are afraid to.
Good luck with your recovery.

 

[Actually]

What the fuck dude?? Man don't listen to them, you deserve to recover! Best wishes to you and I hope you can recover well and fast <3