As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.
The point is not to believe everything you read here and come to your conclusions through careful and exhaustive research in order to be fully aware of what's accurate and what isn't.
Thank you for this enlightening statement.
where did you see the videos?
Yeah this is exactly why I just don't think anyone should post their own ctb attempt because it'll unfortunately end up on sites like that.
On an aside........I was very recently informed about someone who attempted ctb with SN (and failed) and who did indeed suffer some very serious health related consequences from the attempt. It involved spinal injury and inability to walk, perhaps something else, too. Now, this was their SECOND attempt with SN in just one week's time, so that might very well have contributed to the "abnormal" damage sustained from the 2nd attempt. Whether the injuries are permanent, I don't know. They're still being treated. Perhaps it's a case of minor internal damage from the 1st attempt, which the body can heal over time, but not enough time given before the 2nd attempt, which just further exacerbated existing damage. Also, I don't know the status of the person's health prior to the attempts, either.
Yes, I read also of a survivor whose MRI demonstrated bilateral and symmetrical hyperintense lesions in the globus pallidus which is involved in the regulation of voluntary movement. But they were still discharged from the hospital on day 7 without neurologic impairment.
It's nothing compared to the other CTB videos I've watched.
In all honesty, this is just the reality of what happens when things don't go accordingly, sure we are aware of the risks involved but we won't know what will happen until we attempt ourselves, it's better to be informed of all of this rather than going into it without as much information to aid in your decision, your final decision where once you make it, things will not be the same again. There aren't any amount of words to assuage any fears.These stories scare me more and more, honestly.
Out of respect for that individual considering I know who they are personally, I don't think it would be useful to divulge more information beyond what was already said by @locked*n*loaded which he is right about.
I can't. It was a long term member here, who left SS, and is now back under a different username, who told me about this other member. And, I want to maintain the (injured) person's anonymity in case they come back. That's something they can decide to talk about if they desire. What I will do is provide some of the conversation here with any necessary redactions. I provided the quotes to help keep context.
sanctioned-suicide.net
, however in recent weeks, she told me she's been able to gain strength back in her legs so recovery will happen gradually, Lastly, which even fascinated me from a medical standpoint was that the doctor said he was shocked she did not go into cardiac arrest because her vitals were all over the place that's why they intubated her right away and he was shocked that she survived at all because as we know, 70%+ of Methb levels is more than likley going to lead to death so maybe, just maybe, I think what she survived was under rare circumstances, extremely so because I don't want to think about other ss users whom we don't know what happened to them, what if they're in the hospital or something. she's survived what I assume many wouldn't have under the same circumstances and I know i can't prove that but with the lethality that comes with this method, I'd suspect that more ctb than not because to tell the truth dude, I'd hate to think about ss users we don't hear from anymore because we assume they're gone and yet, they're out there suffering the consequences of their failed sn attempt or something, it scares me a little.
Yeah, can't argue with that. It is quite evident that impulsiveness contributes greatly to why this goes wrong.
Yeah, that's why being alone for long enough and not getting discovered and helped is important.I can't. It was a long term member here, who left SS, and is now back under a different username, who told me about this other member. And, I want to maintain the (injured) person's anonymity in case they come back. That's something they can decide to talk about if they desire. What I will do is provide some of the conversation here with any necessary redactions. I provided the quotes to help keep context.
(Former Member) If you recall, she has two attempts last year, one in April and one in June, since then she's attempted a few more times and she recently attempted back in mid January.
(Me) All those attempts? Maybe the universe is telling her something that ctb just isn't for her.
(Former Member) Honestly, you could definitely say so especially with how she survived her two attempts back in January. Her first and follow up attempt were just...quite something else, nevermind the emotional rollercoaster i went through thinking she was dead more than once but somehow she survived, I could share more details but the 2nd attempt was where a lot just went wrong. I can longer confidently say SN is without any long term risk if it is failed although a case could be made that because did attempt multiple times in quick succession, it took a toll on her physically.
So to explain the first attempt this year, she went to the first hotel on January 5th, I said my goodbye to her but she fell asleep instead and decided to change hotels since they were asking her questions, her family was suspicious of the fact that she hadn't been home for a day and so she told me she suspected her brother told her dad, the police even called her but they left her anyway, oh but before this, she drove home and slept first but the police called her since she went off the radar for 2 hrs.
So at midnight on January 7th for me, we said our goodbyes, i thought she died for sure but she responded
She mainly survived because her dad managed to track her location down from a friend who had it from last year, her aunt went down there, begged the hotel staff to let her through to her room, eventually one of the staff knocked on her door, found her unconscious, the ambulance rushed over since she was peri-cardiac arrest within 30 mins and that's, in a nutshell, how she survived. Later, she sent me dashboard audio of her aunt talking to someone and if it weren't for the hotel staff guy who went up to the door and opened it, she would've definitely died if no one thought of finding her or were none the wiser to thinking she was planning to end it that day.
Now, regarding what she said she felt when it comes to her sn attempt, she said that "Alls I remember was laying on the bed looking out the small crack in the curtains and snow was falling peacefully outside and everything was quiet it was fairly peaceful I didn't feel any pain and no headache this time my hands went really cold again and feet but it was manageable"
She had a lot arterial gasses done (can't show the pics) but what's sad is that after she first came around where doctors were around her, she said she just broke down, even thought she was dreaming first no, she told me she hadn't cried like that in years. Tbh, I've never ever met someone as determined to ctb as she was/ still is.
I'll explain her 2nd attempt soon but I'd like to hear your thoughts, maybe any questions you have may.
(Me) No, it sounds like she would have been successful, but for the intervention of others. As far as not feeling any real pain she was unconscious (at first), so has no recollection of pain during that time. Sounds like she may have went unconscious fairly quickly, which is a REALLY good thing. Then she received treatment which, I'm sure, reduced any residual pain she might have felt.
(QUOTE FROM FORMER MEMBER) Tbh, I've never ever met someone has determined to ctb as she was/ still is.
(ME) One comes to mind for me: Callie XXXXX (real name). Check out her goodbye thread. She was DOGGED DETERMINED to go and she wasn't going to stop until she did. She had all kinds of obstacles to overcome on the way to her peace. I don't know if she had previous attempts, although I kinda think she did, but for this attempt she wasn't giving up. And she was autistic as well. I was just so impressed with her tenacity and determination that I bookmarked her thread in my browser.
Leaving tonight
I'm currently eating my (hopefully) last meal -pasta followed by a vegan ice cream sundae- at a jazz bar above a little independent cinema near the location I picked. Today I will start my BBQ probably around 11 o'clock UK time and hope to be dead by the early hours. Within a couple of days my...
(FORMER MEMBER) Oh absolutely, in fact, I'd be willing to say this for at least 4 of her 5 sn attempts of which, 3 were impulsive but not completely in the sense that she took sn after an hr after lunch or something.
She's been pretty consistent in her evaluation of sn and the symptoms she experienced, she said it's not painful and I've asked many times considering I thought maybe if the hypoxia did affect her ability to recall memory, that maybe later on she'd recount that she did feel some measure of pain.
Surprisingly, she said that the most painful thing about sn is the treatment afterwards.
(QUOTE FROM FORMER MEMBER) One comes to mind for me: Callie Lewis (real name). Check out her goodbye thread. She was DOGGED DETERMINED to go and she wasn't going to stop until she did. She had all kinds of obstacles to overcome on the way to her peace. I don't know if she had previous attempts, although I kinda think she did, but for this attempt she wasn't giving up. And she was autistic as well. I was just so impressed with her tenacity and determination that I bookmarked her thread in my browser.
(FORMER MEMBER) I remember her, she was one of the first names I came across associated with ss however I didn't look into her story but judging from this, she was definitely determined and honestly, that's what it takes to ctb, we can have these discussions around ctb all day long and which methods work best but ultimately, since its a solo venture, we've still gotta make that decision. Callie and many others did, I hope she found peace.
(FORMER MEMBER) So, onto her second attempt. This time, Ok so on January 12th at 3am for me, she went me photos of herself in the psych ward, showed me the SN she managed to sneak inside a small plastic bag. So then on January 13th at 3am, she decided that she would take it, it was impulsive and she did survive this one but unfortunately with damage, I heard her a week later on January 22nd, she said she was intubated but when she told me everything that happened, I couldn't believe it
Currently, she's undergoing physical rehab and why that is, she has brain damage from being without oxygen, the nurses at the psych ward heard her breathing weird almost gasping for air basically and well, they thought she was having nightmares so they left her alone for an hr and a half, she has a condition, it's hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy, also her spine was affected by this, the doc explained to her that because she was left on her own for so long without treatment, her spinal cord did not get enough oxygen which caused spinal ischemia which is similar to spinal cord stroke.
He then explained that when the spinal cord is starved of oxygen, the nerve cells begin to die and if the damage is moderate to severe then the signals from the brain can no longer reach her legs.
As for her chances of recovery, it isn't known yet if she'll be able to even walk again. They've done Mri scans and all that, her Methb levels were at 77% when she arrived at the hospital, she was given 3 doses of M-blue, her blood pressure was critcially low and needed treatment too which did not help her spinal ischemia, there's just a lot of uncertainty regarding her chances of recovery at this stage and I feel very sad about that
At first, her experiences with HIE (Hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy) were confusion, muscle weakness, memory loss and slight speech problems. She even had a few seizures post treatment with her Methb levels having subsided.
She said SN still has potential, and isn't painful at all but the main thing is not to be found for a few hrs at least, when I asked how many, she said 2-3 hrs. What's also interesting but scary is that she lost memory for the last 2 months..im guessing the low oxygen affected her ability to recount events over the last 2 months.
All in all, for all the attempts she's made and the details she further discussed between us, I can wholeheartedly say that I've learned a lot more from her experiences than anyone else's, not because she survived it more than once but because she's been consistent with her opinion of the method, never changed her mind to say its terrible and that no one should try it, even if it's between SN and paracetamol or something.
(ME) Yikes, none of that sounds good. I had never heard of "spinal stroke", but it makes sense since everything inside us requires oxygen. If she recovers she's very lucky. I guess probably not in her perspective, but she lives to die another day, crudely put. I wonder how much of her 2nd attempt bad outcome has to do with the fact that it hadn't been that long since the 1st attempt, and maybe there was some damage from that first attempt that just didn't have enough time for the body to heal? Yeah, that 70% methb level is crazy. She's obviously pretty tough.
Yeah, we'll never know what ultimately happens to most who ctb here. I don't like to think about it either. We know that statistics show that many, if not most, people who attempt ctb survive at least one of the attempts. So, there's a high probability that many we don't hear fron who ctb do survive and are dealing with the consequences. For (redacted) it was really pretty stupid to try ctb, especially SN, in a monitored facility like that. I understand desperation, but some things just aren't smart to do. Most of the threads that talk about SN mention how "alone time" of 6 hours or more is kind of crucial. I'm sure she read about that. She really broke protocol, probably in several ways. I hope she can recover enough to have a better go of it, if that's what she wants. Failure of any method is definitely a concern.
(QUOTE FROM FORMER MEMBER) I wonder how much of her 2nd attempt bad outcome has to do with the fact that it hadn't been that long since the 1st attempt, and maybe there was some damage from that first attempt that just didn't have enough time for the body to heal? Yeah, that 70% methb level is crazy. She's obviously pretty tough.
(FORMER MEMBER) Was wondering this myself too since both attempts were just a week apart so perhaps it took a toll on her physically which resulted in her current condition. Tbh, she's also survived methb levels of around 88% which was her 2nd attempt last June. Either she's tough and surviving this is pretty rare anyway or the universe is just being weird, obviously I'd want her to stay alive for as long as possible even if I know there isn't anything I can do about that.
(QUOTE FROM FORMER MEMBER) Yikes, none of that sounds good. I had never heard of "spinal stroke", but it makes sense since everything inside us requires oxygen. If she recovers she's very lucky. I guess probably not in her perspective, but she lives to die another day, crudely put.
(FORMER MEMBER) Yeah, it was awful to study all of this a bit more and yeah, it absolutely makes sense. I used to believe that SN didn't cause long-term damage but with this case, it is definitely possible, not that I was naive back in 2023 when I first learned about sn but I just wasn't more aware until now. She's definitely not happy to still be here, she even told me that if it weren't for Methylene blue then everything would've been fine. Yeah it's Spinal ischemia, similar to spinal stroke.
I'll stop here.
