Venting SN is supposed to arrive today, maybe I’m getting cold feet but I feel like I’m going to not do it.

[pedro3211]

For the past 4-5 I've been feeling fucking terrible, as in the most suicidal I've felt ever. All of sudden my SN is due to arrive and part of me feels better. Some fucking timing right? Maybe I'm just getting cold feet

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

4-5 weeks? Months? Years? If it's weeks or months, that's really not very much time. Sometimes feelings simply pass. Just knowing you have the SN may make you feel better, knowing you always have an out. Hold on to the SN while you figure out how you feel about everything & what you want to do or not do next.

 

[itsgone2]

I'm similar. For months I wanted a gun. Now it's here and I'm scared. I don't feel better though. My life is still over. But I have cold feet too.
It needs to be overcome

 

[pedro3211]

You think you'll be able to do it?

 

[potatohead]

You don't need to use it. Having it simply gives you the freedom to have the option. Keep it in a safe place, a place where you need to make the extra effort to reach it, so you don't act spontaneously. Hopefully, your life will turn for the better and you'll never have to use it. But if it doesn't, you know you always have a way out waiting.

It's not about getting cold feet. It's about leaving on your terms, when you're ready, with dignity and self-respect, while making sure your things are in order so others aren't stuck with your mess. If you don't feel ready, don't do it, it's not your time.

You'll know when it is.