SN in a hospital parking lot?

[sugarsugar]

I'm trying to think of the best way to ctb without my family having to be the ones to find me. I was considering the parking lot of a hospital, as I feel like the likelihood of me being found by security or staff is higher. But I also worry about being found too soon, and getting saved. Does anyone have any advice, or a better way to do this? My SN is arriving soon and I really don't want to suffer anymore
I think I would do all the prep at home and then drive 15 minutes to the nearest emergency room to take the SN and maybe a light sedative.

 

[Capsaicin78]

I think the risk of being found too early is way too high. They could have you enter er very fast.

 

[sugarsugar]

I think the risk of being found too early is way too high. They could have you enter er very fast.

I agree, I just can't think of a place where someone wouldn't be deeply traumatized by finding me all blue and icky…

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Are you trying to be "saved"? If so, then by all means yes.

 

[sugarsugar]

Are you trying to be "saved"? If so, then by all means yes.

Not at all. I just can't figure out a place to go where the people who found me wouldn't be traumatized. Hospital is the only place I can think of where they should all be relatively used to dead people.

 

[Huntfish34]

I agree,. Sounds like you might be saved quickly in that kind of environment.... But,. If you do it right with some planning and Don't panic once you take it... Maybe it would work? Really hard to say either way. I wish you Nothing but the best in whatever you choose to do.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

i thought about that too, but actualy because would be better if i regret after drinking.

 

[fillthevoid]

My plan is to book a hotel room for a couple days, putting the do not disturb sign up. Take the SN at night and schedule an email for the next day for like midday, alerting someone that I'm dead and what I've done and where exactly they'll find me. That way, police will be sent, and they will be totally mentally prepared for what they're going to find. No nasty suprises for anyone. And no chance of being found too early.

EDIT: Could also delay the email for even later if you prefer, whatever you feel is appropriate, just incase the attempt somehow fails and you just wake up with a bad hangover. That way you can cancel the emails in time before they ever get sent.

 

[The Abyss]

That's a terrible idea, you'll wake up in a hospital bed with a tube down your throat. Find a forest area or do it in a panel van or something for the necessary privacy & time required.

 

[Trilucid]

This... Does not sound very wise. It's brave, I will give it that. Right next to the "belly of the beast".
I personally would not recommend it however. If you are suicidal and wish to get help, simply go to their ER and tell them peacefully.
Otherwise, the things they can do to you there... From waking up with cuffs to your hospital bed, to later forcefully being send to a mental ward...
I am sorry, but it's just how these things or this system works. I'd say better play it safe and replan everything.

 

[sugarsugar]

This... Does not sound very wise. It's brave, I will give it that. Right next to the "belly of the beast".
I personally would not recommend it however. If you are suicidal and wish to get help, simply go to their ER and tell them peacefully.
Otherwise, the things they can do to you there... From waking up with cuffs to your hospital bed, to later forcefully being send to a mental ward...
I am sorry, but it's just how these things or this system works. I'd say better play it safe and replan everything.

Yeah, I've been there before and it was not a good time. I'll have to figure out an alternative location

 

[Trilucid]

Yeah, I've been there before and it was not a good time. I'll have to figure out an alternative location

Same here. It's kind of odd though, because I once had an idea similar to yours like this. Including a hospital. But yeah, it's definitely a no go.

 

[sugarsugar]

Same here. It's kind of odd though, because I once had an idea similar to yours like this. Including a hospital. But yeah, it's definitely a no go.

I think part of this stupid idea lies in not wanting to be alone when I die. Like, I know 100% that I'm ready to go. But that doesn't make it not scary. I don't want to be saved, but I also don't want to be alone

 

[Trilucid]

I think part of this stupid idea lies in not wanting to be alone when I die. Like, I know 100% that I'm ready to go. But that doesn't make it not scary. I don't want to be saved, but I also don't want to be alone

I understand that all too well. Humans are social beings, we can not go on forever without saying a single word. Or with your case, knowing that you died completely alone without anyone by your side when it happens. It's also a reason that makes it hard for me too to go through with it. Look, in the end, please though, try to think on everything related to it. Maybe there is still a way for you and you may recover? It's just that you sounded so very human when you mentioned the solitude part versus having those that care around you.

 

[sugarsugar]

I understand that all too well. Humans are social beings, we can not go on forever without saying a single word. Or with your case, knowing that you died completely alone without anyone by your side when it happens. It's also a reason that makes it hard for me too to go through with it. Look, in the end, please though, try to think on everything related to it. Maybe there is still a way for you and you may recover? It's just that you sounded so very human when you mentioned the solitude part versus having those that care around you.

I will think hard. But I'm pretty convinced that leaving this place is what I want. The past two years, every time I've cried, I end up saying over and over that I want to go home. At first I thought I wanted my boyfriend, but the sentiment remained. Then I thought I wanted my mom, but here I am with her. I think the home I want to go to is somewhere beyond. Lol

 

[Trilucid]

I will think hard. But I'm pretty convinced that leaving this place is what I want. The past two years, every time I've cried, I end up saying over and over that I want to go home. At first I thought I wanted my boyfriend, but the sentiment remained. Then I thought I wanted my mom, but here I am with her. I think the home I want to go to is somewhere beyond. Lol

That sounds like a good thing to do. I mean, even with me after all this time, I still try to look for something that makes sense to me when attempting life's game. I still despise it all a lot, but that doesn't mean I should stay cold, focused on nothing but death. To me, maybe it's just a hunch, but I feel as if you are trying to reason with yourself, while at the same time as you said - Thinking of the freedom of beyond. Please, if you think that even a small coin can turn the negative around, my advise would be to go for it.

 

[JFED]

Worst location. As a HCW I'd be called out to save you. We see people have medical emergencies in the parking lot all the time. You'd be found in no time and I'd be helping you breathe and doing cpr

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Not a great idea if you are certain about wanting to ctb. If not, then it is a great idea. If you locked yourself in your trunk it might work.

You'd be found in no time and I'd be helping you breathe and doing cpr

CPR on someone who just swallowed SN? I don't think so.

 

[its-about-time]

A hospital parking lot is still just a parking lot. Unless you plan on taking it in a hospital room surrounded by nurses who are used to death, you're more likely to be discovered by somebody who's already there for traumatic reasons (visiting a loved one in the ER) and just add to their day by making them discovery a successful or mid-way suicide. Who knows, maybe the person who finds you would be going there already to see a loved one who just failed an attempt or is succeeding despite medical attention.

 

[StrangePossum]

This is an interesting idea and one that I have also thought about. But I agree that the risk of being found too early would be much higher, although I guess it might depend on the parking lot? But then again, I wouldn't be surprised if people pass out in the parking lot all the time and the hospital specifically keeps an eye out for that. I do wish there was a good way to avoid having my family find the body. :/

 

[deleted]

if the problem is someone finds your body you can program messages to the local police and hospital, drinking in a hospital parking lot is asking to be rescued

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Not at all. I just can't figure out a place to go where the people who found me wouldn't be traumatized. Hospital is the only place I can think of where they should all be relatively used to dead people.

Honestly, I don't even think of traumatizing people since it isn't my problem. However, I do not want to "encourage" you to CTB so all I am going to say is do what you feel is best and 100% sure about.

 

[Dot]

Not at all. I just can't figure out a place to go where the people who found me wouldn't be traumatized. Hospital is the only place I can think of where they should all be relatively used to dead people.

Thr wld stll b rel8tves & patnts wh/ wld fnd u thre s/ thy cld stll b traumtisd

 

[LoMVLk]

One thing I heard people say was hotel bathroom - You can put a large note on the bathroom door saying something like "SUICIDE - DON'T COME IN, CALL POLICE". Since the door is on the inside of the hotel room, the note will only be seen when room service next goes to your room and will, hopefully, spare the poor cleaning person the experience of coming face-to-face with a body. I think it's about the most humane way you can guarantee that you'll be found within a certain time frame.

Alternatively, think about scheduled delivery of e-mails for example. You can compose an e-mail to the local police department detailing where to find you and then simply set it to send after 24 hours. If you end up not doing it, simply cancel the scheduled delivery. That way you can use an abandoned building, a forest no one ever goes to, etc.

 

[FractalTears]

People who take sn might make noises, sounds like a recepy for disaster to me.

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

I get why you'd want to ctb in a hospital parking lot, and your logic wrt hospital staff being less likely to be traumatized from seeing a dead body makes sense on paper. However I agree with everybody else: a hospital is the last place you want to ctb unless you want to be saved.

Also consider that even if you did manage to successfully ctb in the hospital parking lot, there's no guarantee you'll be found by a healthcare professional. In fact there's a good chance you'll be found by someone who is going to hospital to visit an sick relative.

Wanting to minimize the trauma of being found is admirable, but I think all you can really do is minimize the trauma of being found by a loved one. The hotel idea makes sense. I don't know where you live, but maybe even consider going camping. If you camp somewhere quiet, there's a chance you won't be discovered for a couple of days, probably by a park ranger that needs to move you on. I'm guessing park rangers see their fair share of dead animals, often killed in a violent manner (road trauma, mauling etc), so seeing a body that doesn't have half its guts hanging out might be a relief for them.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I'm trying to think of the best way to ctb without my family having to be the ones to find me. I was considering the parking lot of a hospital, as I feel like the likelihood of me being found by security or staff is higher. But I also worry about being found too soon, and getting saved. Does anyone have any advice, or a better way to do this? My SN is arriving soon and I really don't want to suffer anymore
I think I would do all the prep at home and then drive 15 minutes to the nearest emergency room to take the SN and maybe a light sedative.

what about a dark corner of a 24 hour supermarket, on the back seat, under covers and duvets, so no one knows you're there even if they walk past and look through the window

 

[JFED]

CPR on someone who just swallowed SN? I don't think so."

I was just generalizing. Wasn't formulating a treatment plan.

 

[CrossroadsCurious]

Who cares. Just pick a place where you won't run the risk of being found/saved.