ilovedmylife
Member
- Mar 12, 2020
- 8
hi, as you know i just joined SS few days ago. you can call me K - 22 and from VN. I already had SN and everything with me now. If my plan go right, this friday gonna be the last day of my life.
I know there are many ways to struggle with depression. And yes, there are medicines i can take, people i can talk to, and years to keep living with depression. But there is no way to end it. I can't get the best version of myself anymore, because depression took it. i used to learn a lot about psychologist so you can see CTB isn't a hurried decision.
And yes, my life was beautiful. I was a lottery that my parents won, the inspiration for people around me, the person that someone always loved. I graduated from the university with good grades, got a good job and had many good friends. I was also a nomad person who travelled to many places.
everything was just so perfect, until depression came and took everything from me. i can't even sleep at night without medicine. i don't realize myself anymore.
people often say everything will be okay, but to me they won't.
the "i know", "i understand", "just be positive" things doesn't help. it's always easier to judge, than to understand.
last thing i concern is that my family and friends will miss me the rest of their life. But i hope they miss the best parts of me.
if you are reading these words, you are the people that know my story. Though there are millions of stories out there. But i hope you remember mine.
No matter what you are going through, i hope you find peace, and so do I.
I will post my detailed plan tomorrow. And maybe i will try to let you know how SN work when i take it (if i can).
I love you all.
I know there are many ways to struggle with depression. And yes, there are medicines i can take, people i can talk to, and years to keep living with depression. But there is no way to end it. I can't get the best version of myself anymore, because depression took it. i used to learn a lot about psychologist so you can see CTB isn't a hurried decision.
And yes, my life was beautiful. I was a lottery that my parents won, the inspiration for people around me, the person that someone always loved. I graduated from the university with good grades, got a good job and had many good friends. I was also a nomad person who travelled to many places.
everything was just so perfect, until depression came and took everything from me. i can't even sleep at night without medicine. i don't realize myself anymore.
people often say everything will be okay, but to me they won't.
the "i know", "i understand", "just be positive" things doesn't help. it's always easier to judge, than to understand.
last thing i concern is that my family and friends will miss me the rest of their life. But i hope they miss the best parts of me.
if you are reading these words, you are the people that know my story. Though there are millions of stories out there. But i hope you remember mine.
No matter what you are going through, i hope you find peace, and so do I.
I will post my detailed plan tomorrow. And maybe i will try to let you know how SN work when i take it (if i can).
I love you all.
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