dead22222

dead22222

i am the animal i am an animal
Jun 20, 2023
114
Do you feel like your life and world is your phone and the internet, or has become it over the years? I did and it caused me to abandon my actual first person life in favor of the internet and my phone being more interesting and more valuable to me. Until I now realized this I was in a kind of psychosis I guess is the best word. When I was young and I got my first phone, I decided my direct experience of life was valueless and the only thing I wanted to do was use my phone and find things online. This was way more interesting to me than the isolated and pet like life I had before at home. I dont blame myself for choosing this at all.

The effect of this is that I created a reality in my head that was as if the internet was the new dictator of reality if that makes sense. Whatever I learned on it, the worldview I absorbed, and overall feeling that came with rejecting direct experiences to escape bordom painted a filter over my reality. I had left the present experiences of my own life and it took over, and I thought that was a good thing. I hated my ordinary life. (Now I know why because my parents didnt care about me, other than making me another thing to have) Over years of this things that had no connection to my direct experience of life started to fill my thoughts constantly. I had become so out of touch with reality that nothing I actually thought and felt was related to anything in a timeline of events in my life. I am trying to recover from this now.

I wish I could describe this feeling more because if someone is having this problem I want to help as much as possible. I guess the best way you can see it in other people is when someone who youve seen never use the internet, gets a phone and goes online on social media and then changes as a person. They start to mimic the typical things said online, thier conversations are about whats on social media, thier interests change to something popular online thats unlike them. It like warps you in a disturbing way, and I think this is the problem. I think the way its designed confuses people into thinking its thier own direct experience of life, or the mind cannot tell the difference. Maybe this is because of the feelings it makes?

The internet is a window into other things that are somewhere else across the world and dont exist in reality here and now. Only now is it possible to be concerned with people who we will never meet and will never impact our lives. Im talking about social media not direct communication. Its an echo of the real experience. Only the real experience comes first. Dont let them take this from you, youll waste your life and corrupt yourself like I did. From now on I only identify with my life physically in front of me, and the internet and my phone is a secondary object outside of me.

I know a lot of other people especially my age have this same issue and cant see it, because of how much its not only normalized but also how extremely subtle this shift is. If you never noticed it then I cant imagine how youd escape this. I got my first phone when I was becoming a teenager. Young enough to vaugley remember what things were like before that. How bad would this problem be if you were given a phone or something and you were so young, you could not distinguish this difference?

I hope this makes sense a lot of this is hard to describe. I made this to maybe help someone else realize if this is happening to them. Please let me know what you think.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
4,106
This is a big topic for sure. When I was young, the internet was in its infancy and there were major limits to what it could do. And that's assuming the dial-up connection actually worked in the first place.

But starting with the introduction of Facebook, everything changed. It wasn't about people using machines but machines using people. AI was now actively exploiting human psychology to create the most addictive possible content and generate massive ad revenue for the tech giants.


By contrast, I remember my childhood as pretty quiet, often boring yet somehow magical in a way that has been difficult to emulate in modern times. Of course the internet serves many useful functions, but to say that it has a dark side would be an understatement.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,155
Yeah yeah, phone bad. I heard it all before. This stupid little glowing brick has been my only way of staying relatively sane over the years though. Soon as it's taken away I'll have even more reason to hate this exhausting reality we live in. It's not our phones' fault that reality sucks so hard that we need somewhere to escape to.
 
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dead22222

dead22222

i am the animal i am an animal
Jun 20, 2023
114
This is a big topic for sure. When I was young, the internet was in its infancy and there were major limits to what it could do. And that's assuming the dial-up connection actually worked in the first place.

But starting with the introduction of Facebook, everything changed. It wasn't about people using machines but machines using people. AI was now actively exploiting human psychology to create the most addictive possible content and generate massive ad revenue for the tech giants.


By contrast, I remember my childhood as pretty quiet, often boring yet somehow magical in a way that has been difficult to emulate in modern times. Of course the internet serves many useful functions, but to say that it has a dark side would be an understatement.
Its really disgusting how they literally build it to exploit us, I hope in the future social media is more regulated on how its designed.
 
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2

26mmmm

Experienced
Feb 12, 2024
207
Do you feel like your life and world is your phone and the internet, or has become it over the years? I did and it caused me to abandon my actual first person life in favor of the internet and my phone being more interesting and more valuable to me. Until I now realized this I was in a kind of psychosis I guess is the best word. When I was young and I got my first phone, I decided my direct experience of life was valueless and the only thing I wanted to do was use my phone and find things online. This was way more interesting to me than the isolated and pet like life I had before at home. I dont blame myself for choosing this at all.

The effect of this is that I created a reality in my head that was as if the internet was the new dictator of reality if that makes sense. Whatever I learned on it, the worldview I absorbed, and overall feeling that came with rejecting direct experiences to escape bordom painted a filter over my reality. I had left the present experiences of my own life and it took over, and I thought that was a good thing. I hated my ordinary life. (Now I know why because my parents didnt care about me, other than making me another thing to have) Over years of this things that had no connection to my direct experience of life started to fill my thoughts constantly. I had become so out of touch with reality that nothing I actually thought and felt was related to anything in a timeline of events in my life. I am trying to recover from this now.

I wish I could describe this feeling more because if someone is having this problem I want to help as much as possible. I guess the best way you can see it in other people is when someone who youve seen never use the internet, gets a phone and goes online on social media and then changes as a person. They start to mimic the typical things said online, thier conversations are about whats on social media, thier interests change to something popular online thats unlike them. It like warps you in a disturbing way, and I think this is the problem. I think the way its designed confuses people into thinking its thier own direct experience of life, or the mind cannot tell the difference. Maybe this is because of the feelings it makes?

The internet is a window into other things that are somewhere else across the world and dont exist in reality here and now. Only now is it possible to be concerned with people who we will never meet and will never impact our lives. Im talking about social media not direct communication. Its an echo of the real experience. Only the real experience comes first. Dont let them take this from you, youll waste your life and corrupt yourself like I did. From now on I only identify with my life physically in front of me, and the internet and my phone is a secondary object outside of me.

I know a lot of other people especially my age have this same issue and cant see it, because of how much its not only normalized but also how extremely subtle this shift is. If you never noticed it then I cant imagine how youd escape this. I got my first phone when I was becoming a teenager. Young enough to vaugley remember what things were like before that. How bad would this problem be if you were given a phone or something and you were so young, you could not distinguish this difference?

I hope this makes sense a lot of this is hard to describe. I made this to maybe help someone else realize if this is happening to them. Please let me know what you think.
I feel like my life is or atleast was the internet.
I have barely socialized or done anything human in so long which just led me to forget how to be human, or social.

I don't think people fully understand how bad technology can be, especially when combined with isolation.
Im not talking about social media or anything - which has its own problems - im talking about living your life in screens, which I think is a way bigger problem.
 
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S

stargir1

Member
Mar 9, 2024
6
i think you'd enjoy serial experiments lain, its an anime that has that sort of concept--
but other than that, i absolutely feel this way too. i had a really bad summer when covid hit where i would post all my thoughts on instagram stories (not always upload though, just like using it as a notes app lol) and i started to think every single thought in that short quippy instagram story style of words and see the white text magenta background in my head. i hope you feel better and are able to connect with real people+have real experiences (try camping! something with nature) because i think thats something that genuinely helped me on the internet/reality disconnect side of things
 
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tuey32

tuey32

Student
Jun 20, 2023
103
I'm too scared to even look at my screen time. I think the only thing that would heal me is getting rid of my phone and switching to a flip phone. But I don't have the willpower to do that atp.
Im also terrified for the future generations and gen alpha or whatever they're called. I didn't get a smartphone till the end of middle school so at least I had a decent childhood
 
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W

wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
455
I think that isolated individuals without already established relationships in real life are especially vulnerable to this type of addiction. My internet usage was relatively healthy when I had friends back in high school with whom I could have conversations during breaks between classes, and it kept me sane. However, after high school, when I lost all my friends and became isolated, the Internet became my only refuge from the brutal reality of life. I wouldn't have resorted to this type of escapism if I wasn't already isolated. TBH, I don't think the Internet is the root of the problem because I know people my age (like my cousin) who don't experience this, thanks to the many established friendships they keep and maintain in their private lives.

BTW, I like that you used the term psychosis to describe getting out of touch with reality when the addiction becomes severe. I relate to this feeling a lot.
 
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