dead22222
i am the animal i am an animal
- Jun 20, 2023
- 114
Do you feel like your life and world is your phone and the internet, or has become it over the years? I did and it caused me to abandon my actual first person life in favor of the internet and my phone being more interesting and more valuable to me. Until I now realized this I was in a kind of psychosis I guess is the best word. When I was young and I got my first phone, I decided my direct experience of life was valueless and the only thing I wanted to do was use my phone and find things online. This was way more interesting to me than the isolated and pet like life I had before at home. I dont blame myself for choosing this at all.
The effect of this is that I created a reality in my head that was as if the internet was the new dictator of reality if that makes sense. Whatever I learned on it, the worldview I absorbed, and overall feeling that came with rejecting direct experiences to escape bordom painted a filter over my reality. I had left the present experiences of my own life and it took over, and I thought that was a good thing. I hated my ordinary life. (Now I know why because my parents didnt care about me, other than making me another thing to have) Over years of this things that had no connection to my direct experience of life started to fill my thoughts constantly. I had become so out of touch with reality that nothing I actually thought and felt was related to anything in a timeline of events in my life. I am trying to recover from this now.
I wish I could describe this feeling more because if someone is having this problem I want to help as much as possible. I guess the best way you can see it in other people is when someone who youve seen never use the internet, gets a phone and goes online on social media and then changes as a person. They start to mimic the typical things said online, thier conversations are about whats on social media, thier interests change to something popular online thats unlike them. It like warps you in a disturbing way, and I think this is the problem. I think the way its designed confuses people into thinking its thier own direct experience of life, or the mind cannot tell the difference. Maybe this is because of the feelings it makes?
The internet is a window into other things that are somewhere else across the world and dont exist in reality here and now. Only now is it possible to be concerned with people who we will never meet and will never impact our lives. Im talking about social media not direct communication. Its an echo of the real experience. Only the real experience comes first. Dont let them take this from you, youll waste your life and corrupt yourself like I did. From now on I only identify with my life physically in front of me, and the internet and my phone is a secondary object outside of me.
I know a lot of other people especially my age have this same issue and cant see it, because of how much its not only normalized but also how extremely subtle this shift is. If you never noticed it then I cant imagine how youd escape this. I got my first phone when I was becoming a teenager. Young enough to vaugley remember what things were like before that. How bad would this problem be if you were given a phone or something and you were so young, you could not distinguish this difference?
I hope this makes sense a lot of this is hard to describe. I made this to maybe help someone else realize if this is happening to them. Please let me know what you think.
The effect of this is that I created a reality in my head that was as if the internet was the new dictator of reality if that makes sense. Whatever I learned on it, the worldview I absorbed, and overall feeling that came with rejecting direct experiences to escape bordom painted a filter over my reality. I had left the present experiences of my own life and it took over, and I thought that was a good thing. I hated my ordinary life. (Now I know why because my parents didnt care about me, other than making me another thing to have) Over years of this things that had no connection to my direct experience of life started to fill my thoughts constantly. I had become so out of touch with reality that nothing I actually thought and felt was related to anything in a timeline of events in my life. I am trying to recover from this now.
I wish I could describe this feeling more because if someone is having this problem I want to help as much as possible. I guess the best way you can see it in other people is when someone who youve seen never use the internet, gets a phone and goes online on social media and then changes as a person. They start to mimic the typical things said online, thier conversations are about whats on social media, thier interests change to something popular online thats unlike them. It like warps you in a disturbing way, and I think this is the problem. I think the way its designed confuses people into thinking its thier own direct experience of life, or the mind cannot tell the difference. Maybe this is because of the feelings it makes?
The internet is a window into other things that are somewhere else across the world and dont exist in reality here and now. Only now is it possible to be concerned with people who we will never meet and will never impact our lives. Im talking about social media not direct communication. Its an echo of the real experience. Only the real experience comes first. Dont let them take this from you, youll waste your life and corrupt yourself like I did. From now on I only identify with my life physically in front of me, and the internet and my phone is a secondary object outside of me.
I know a lot of other people especially my age have this same issue and cant see it, because of how much its not only normalized but also how extremely subtle this shift is. If you never noticed it then I cant imagine how youd escape this. I got my first phone when I was becoming a teenager. Young enough to vaugley remember what things were like before that. How bad would this problem be if you were given a phone or something and you were so young, you could not distinguish this difference?
I hope this makes sense a lot of this is hard to describe. I made this to maybe help someone else realize if this is happening to them. Please let me know what you think.
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