Sleep is all I look forward to

[JaegerBombastic]

Every day I wake up and dread coming back to conciousness. It takes all my strength just to get up in the morning. All day long I'm just going through the motions trying to get by. All I can think about is how excited I am to go to bed at night. I never dream, so it's just non-existence for a few hours every night (assuming I can actually fall asleep). But I love it because then I don't have to think about everything wrong with me. It's like the only time I feel happy is when I can't feel anything at all. Does anyone else get this?

 

[zappynomore]

I am exactly the same. Sleep is the only thing I enjoy now, takes away all my pain.

I always kind of pray aswell like please just let me die in my sleep. but it never happens sad.

Of course death is the most peaceful sleep of all so thats what i look forward to.

 

[dayhell]

It's like that for me too, just trying to sleep the pain away for as long as I can.

 

[ijbolijbol8979]

i'm the same! Its to the point where i'm pretty sure I have hypersomnia. I sleep more than 14 hours everyday, and even then, I STILL get tired and sleepy and take 4 hour naps. I can't even function for more than a few hours everyday.

I might need to tell my doctor about this

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Yes, same exactly.

 

[secretghost]

Yeah. Especially the kind of sleep so deep it just seems to slip time. I think a lot of us here can relate, sorry you're experiencing such troubles

 

[Echo]

Yeah I dont dream either but every day look forward to getting into bed and just getting respite from my thoughts.
If only I could get away with sleeping the majority of the day i would. I've thought about just getting sleeping pills so I could take them when waking up and just going back to sleep

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as all I want is to not exist and for me sleeping is the closest to not existing, all I want is to be unconscious with no more pain and no more suffering, I'd never wish for the dreadful, torturous burden of existing rather all I want is to sleep, I just want some peace, I just want to never suffer again.

 

[KimDokja]

I can relate. I love sleeping, and if I could, I'd be sleeping all the time. I tend to dream from time to time, although it makes me sad not to dream as much as before or not to remember my dreams as much. It just makes me happy to be able to live in a world where I'm not me, but some character I like, or someone else.

 

[Pluto]

 

[knickknack81]

I do love sleep as well. Just turning my brain off for a few hours. Unfortunately, since ive been dealing with the stress and anxiety of thoughts of CTB over the last few months, my sleep has suffered. It's rare I get as much as 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Before these issues, I couldn't get up before hitting my alarm clock multiple times. Now I am awake way before that. But I do value being in that sleep mode when I am. I often find myself saying before I go to bed "please don't wake up tomorrow". Just thinking about a peaceful death in my sleep seems the best way a person could possibly go.

 

[wham311]

I want nothingness and sleep so bad I just go to be when I'm wide awake and vlose my eyes.

But the thoughts are so terrible. Eventually I'll see imagery of the thoughts im thinking which means I'll have fallen asleep momentarily but am shocked back to consciousness

I have absolutely NOTHING to look forward to but pain.

I am ready to go. I need to push through and keep my resolve

 

[polm]

I do relate. Sleep means no pain. I want to die in my sleep. I wish I could sleep naturally and nap like I used to.

 

[erik_signe]

Every day I wake up and dread coming back to conciousness. It takes all my strength just to get up in the morning. All day long I'm just going through the motions trying to get by. All I can think about is how excited I am to go to bed at night. I never dream, so it's just non-existence for a few hours every night (assuming I can actually fall asleep). But I love it because then I don't have to think about everything wrong with me. It's like the only time I feel happy is when I can't feel anything at all. Does anyone else get this?

Exactly how I feel but it's often I don't get any good quality of sleep. Sometimes I just lay on my bed in silence and hope I could fall asleep faster because when I do, the thoughts quiet. I don't feel any pain. I feel at ease. But all of that disappears the moment I wake up to the next day :(

 

[TheBroken]

Going to sleep is what I live for every day. BAD part is that I have very detailed nightmares at least 50 percent of the time and they last a good portion of the night. Being in danger/afraid, drowning, humiliated, hated, and lost or trapped. It's terrible.

 

[Ambien addict]

Me too! All I live for is sleep...I cry when I wake up! I cannot sleep without meds...they have destroyed my life.