SI is frustrating

[lifecouldbedream]

I wish I had a benzo or something, as alcohol doesn't seem to work. Although maybe I'm just not drinking enough. Last night and this morning I just went through a cycle of getting the bag tied around my head, contemplating releasing the gas and then untying the bag. Repeat x100. And when I actually got the guts to get the gas going I ripped the bag off of my head right as I began to lose consciousness. It's very frustrating to deal with, even though not CTBing means another day of wishing I were dead, constantly. I just can't seem to will myself to do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, it is difficult to overcome the SI as we are programmed to survive. I wish it was easier to leave this world. We all deserve the option of euthanasia.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Maybe It is not your time to go yet

 

[BottomlessPit]

Maybe It is not your time to go yet

The time to go is whenever you decide it to be. Everything else are just roadblocks to be overcome.

 

[Jenjoh2358]

Handcuffs or zip-ties may solve that problem.

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[3691215]

Only bought 50g SN and am nervous SI kicks in when have mixed up, wasting and needing reordering.

50g is more Than enough

 

[3691215]

Is enough for 2 mixes ie main and backup, but if open and change mind, left with nothing. Wish had bought 100g so could see how feel without wasting all...

Yeah all the best

 

[Ch92921]

Handcuffs or zip-ties may solve that problem.

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Doesnt run. Once tried to hang with handcuffs. I closed one handcuff but SI made it impossible to close other handcuff. Was very weird. I tried to close the other handcuff but the signals from my brain didnt get in action kind of blocked.