Venting SI is cruel

[itsgone2]

Seriously I spend all day in mental torture which continuously floods me with anxiety which literally hurts in my whole body. Kills my appetite which has led to rapid weight loss. And many nights of near zero sleep. What is the point? Why survive for that? Shouldn't it turn on me to prevent all that pain? If this is my reality why does something like fsh seem brutal? It would be kind and yet I'm just stuck.

 

[MissAbyss]

Same here, while if you do it right you will lose consciousness within a few seconds. What are a few seconds compared to 24/7 torture? The first attempt failed, next time I'll just do it impulsively, without too much preparation to avoid SI.

 

[capi]

I keep trying to attempt but i just cant :( i feel the exact same feelings and i feel like im going through actual hell with constant panic attacks and being starved

 

[itsgone2]

I had setup fsh last weekend. I have a secure point high enough. Made and secured a noose. Couldn't do it so just left it. This morning I just went to look at it, maybe get more comfortable with the idea. I'm dumb though and was testing it and accidentally let the knot slip through and now it needs redone. I'm not eating and have no energy and can't imagine fixing it right now. Why is this so difficult. Just let us go.