Shyness killed me before suicide

[cantdecidenameeven]

I got over my fear of death - Suicide is now an option. I thought when I reached that point, I'd live the rest of my life carefree.

Yet I'm still a shy, socially anxious coward. Talking to people I want to connect to is scary. I still fear being perceived and stop myself from doing many things I enjoy. I care for others' opinions of me still. Why? Do I know deep down I'll never actually do it? I still can't get over that pre-guilt, knowing what it would do to my family.

Are you still a coward despite knowing you might die soon?

 

[blackbeauty]

Honestly, I relate to this so much. I don't think I'll ever stop caring what other people think no matter how hard I try to. Just the way I am wired.