Should I wait until I move out to commit suicide?

[uglyzuko]

I'm just about ready to commit suicide. I would ideally like to ctb by next month, but i'm starting to hesitate only because i don't want my family to happen upon my corpse and deal with the funeral costs and transporting my body out of their home and what not. i don't want to scar them or my little sister, but me ctb is inevitable.

the only silver lining is that i will be moving in january. i will be going to colelge and moving to a town a few hours from my home. i think i could kill myself there and my family would not have to deal with the body and stuff like that. maybe if i do it right they might not have to deal with a funeral at all, but i digress.

the only problem is, i'm ready to ctb NOW. I know i sound like a petulant child and what's a few months to spare when i'll be dealing with an eternity of... whatever it is, but my mind has reached the limit. i'm super depressed now, and having to postpone my departure for another four months means i'll have to actually "try" again -- as in, get a job at the very least, learn how to drive, get a car, endure loneliness/disappointment/isolation/fear/depression, and it's really hard to deal with that for another 4 months when i've pretty much made up my mind to gtfo in a few weeks.

if you were in my position, what would you do? for reference, i love my family very very much, i'm not on necessarily bad terms with them so i do care about them even after i die. but i don't know if i could possibly deal with this for another 4 months. i've already accepted the terror of entering the unknown prematurely but what if i go back to having death anxiety again within those 4 months? or my brain tries to "cope" with life like it has tried before (it always ends up with me reverting to being suicidal but coping definitely prolongs and postpones my death).

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally, I would rather not have family members be the one to find me as I know that would be traumatic. The way I see it though, if you have close family members they would still be upset and grieving no matter where you would decide to ctb as they have lost you. It probably wouldn't make a lot of difference if you move out. I'm sorry you are suffering, I wish you peace no matter what happens.

 

[BobMorane]

Depends on how you CTB. Im guessing Sn here. If I were you I would go to another town, book a hotel room and do it there. One member of your family would eventually have to identify you but that would be it. Good luck !

 

[316]

Like @bobmorane said just get a hotel room somewhere if you can't wait. Tell your family you are going to some made up event out of town overnight. That way you get to ctb as soon as you want to without doing it in your family's home

 

[uglyzuko]

Depends on how you CTB. Im guessing Sn here. If I were you I would go to another town, book a hotel room and do it there. One member of your family would eventually have to identify you but that would be it. Good luck !

Like @bobmorane said just get a hotel room somewhere if you can't wait. Tell your family you are going to some made up event out of town overnight. That way you get to ctb as soon as you want to without doing it in your family's home

Unfortunately i'm going to hang myself. i don't know how possible that is in a hotel room :/

 

[BobMorane]

@uglyzuko you sure about that ? why not try Sn . Hanging seems a bit too much for me.

 

[Winklemate]

If it was me, I probably would wait til kill myself. If I was certain I'd have a safe place where I could kill myself away from my family awaiting me, I'd wait for that.

But I'm not you, and there are still variables to the college that make things tricky. Stuff I don't know like if it's a dorm, if you'll be having roommates and their potential schedules, if you're aware of your place of living already, etc. I don't know much about the particulars of the hanging method (I would've assumed they could be done in a hotel, though that might be my ignorance showing). If you know you're family's schedule, you could maybe lock yourself in a room and contact that authorities with a timed e-mail.

Maybe so they'll arrive when the family's out, maybe you could leave a spare key in a secret location detailed in said e-mail, so they don't even have to like try and bust their way in and potentially cause some property damage. Obviously this idea isn't great, there's a lot of room for error but if the authorities get involved, they can probably prevent your family from seeing you hanging at least, & I imagine that would the worst visual for them to witness.