Should I try getting another therapist?

[cowbain]

I don't feel like the therapist I have now cares or is helpful. I've been seeing her for 4 months now and I haven't learned anything or made any progress. In ways she's actually made things worse. For example, my parents are really abusive and isolating so she told me that I should try public transportation just as a small step to become more independent. I did that and then I saw a family member that sexually abused me during my childhood while on the bus. I told her about this and her response wasn't really that supportive. On another occasion, I told her about the pain I've been having for almost 2 years, and that hopefully it's a terminal medical condition so I can just die, and when I looked at her face she was trying her best to hold in her laughter. There's also been incidents where she's cancelled our appointments, never returned phone calls that she said she would, ignored my text messages, and I notice that when we do have appointments she doesn't come out her office into the waiting room until 5-10 minutes after our scheduled appointment. I'm sure there's more red flags but my brain fog is impacting my memory :/ the only reason im hesitant to get a new therapist is because I've done this already like 3 times before and it's exhausting to keep going through this process of trying to find a good therapist with limited options because of Medicaid. Ive kind of come to the conclusion that Medicaid therapists suck, it feels like I'm talking to a school counselor tbh, but unfortunately I can't pay out of pocket for therapy rn. I'm also nervous because I know my parents probably won't be supportive of me changing therapists. Anyways.. advice would be greatly appreciated x

 

[k75]

I think if you can, you should. Unfortunately, it often takes a lot of tries to find one that's a good fit, who can really help. I think staying with a bad therapist can do more harm than good. I'm still trying to find one who can really help me, and I've seen at least 10 so far. It definitely takes work, but I think it's worth it.

 

[stellabelle]

It took my whole life to find decent help in the form of two others. Soon I will be referred and go twice a week. It's worth it when you find someone who can really help you. I find myself thinking on the weekend damn, it's saturday. I can't call.

The people who helped me were publicly funded. I'm very lucky. I think you should keep trying if you can find it within you. Try to be patient. Give it a chance. The one you have now sounds like a nightmare.

 

[falconeyes]

yes definitely, you need to find another one, trusting the therapist is a key-reason to keep forward on the therapy, once it gone the whole process is useless.

 

[Boonks]

It's extremely frustrating but there's no way around it. That's just the way it is. I, too, have muddled through a wad of incompetent therapists. I'm currently seeing a therapist once a week and for once it's not bad, but it's not good either, it's eh. Nothing's changed, no insight found, no discovery made. But it's also not completely laughable. Except for that one time I saw her and couldn't stop laughing my ass off! We were talking about Big Pharma and I was just feeling so flabbergasted I couldn't not laugh. Shit is far out, man.

Like my girl Aaliyah used to say (RIP), "If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again. You can dust it off and try again, try again."

Xo

 

[sleepy dog]

Consider writing everything you wrote on your post here, with more details, on a complaint form or grievance form, and keep copies. You might get rid of a therapist and benefit not only yourself but also everybody else that is relying on them. They simply should not be working in mental health at all. I am considering doing this myself with the clinic I am at now. One of the prescribers has been verbally abusive and generally has a hostile attitude towards me. I switched prescribers. But I really should try a grievance process. I just don't believe it will accomplish anything. It might even make things worse. But it's at a point I think I need to and it could not get worse than it already is.

 

[jacob6767]

What a disgusting human being that "therapist" is.
It's people like them in the mental health kind careers that make people NOT want to go and get help; those are the type that profit off of other peoples misery.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with them, if you can anytime soon, find a new therapist with good intentions. I wish you the best.

 

[Rachel74]

Definitely try another one. If you are in the uk I can point you in the right direction of some great online support groups.

 

[GreyMonkey]

Finding a truly good therapist that can genuinely support growth through this is hard. Most don't have the capacity to actually do what is needed for the level of distress that the people who end up on this forum are in. Especially if you are a low income earner and depend on government systems. The best practitioners are going to have private practices and probably not be that cheap. However if they are sincere and you are sincere some will offer reduced rates if you ask, for those in real need.

NARM and/or somatic experiencing are the best models I have found.

Therapy is hard and slow work though, and ideally when we get capable, supplemented by our own work: taking care of health, sleep, etc.

Other ways to access free support too are in 12 step meetings. ACOA is a good one if you don't identify as a specific addict.
SLAA is good if suicidal thoughts are caused by Relationship distress, break ups, etc.

 

[A New Error]

As someone who has changed a lot of therapists and psychologists, I can but only encourage changing your current one if you don't feel save and well there immediately.
Every therapists (or psychologist) is well aware of the fact that not everyone they get will be someone they can actually treat or help.
We are all deeply different, and so are they, obviously it just doesn't work with a lot of people. (even the more being people like us)

I have changed mine multiple times, and I talked to the current ones about it during the last sessions each time.
I verbalized that they are not a fit for me, and that I need to find myself someone who works for me, which is usually a very welcomed honest and straight forward good sign for them that you are indeed approaching the right way for yourself.
It also helps them with their own work, due to the information they can easier distinguish and filter out the patients they could really be a help to.

In that sense, you not only do something really important, vital and healthy for yourself, but also a really good thing for the therapists and their future patients.

So, yes, changes of therapists are absolutely required.
I have been failed multiple times by them, and I am not fond of a lot of them,
and yet I still believe that if you are willing enough, they can and do actually help~

I hope you find a way to change yours as soon as possible.
Please never feel ashamed, guilty, afraid or in the wrong for doing so.
You have every right to change them as much as you need to, and you really really should.

I wish you the best~

 

[tomz323]

All ways worth trying mate

 

[EmptySteph62]

Not gonna sugar coat it, that sounds awful. I've also had trouble with bad psychiatrists and I would suggest finding a new one as soon as possible. If you don't feel comfortable with them you wont get anything out of it.
I wish you best of luck in whatever you choose to do!!

 

[Sweet emotion]

Yes you definitely have to shop around for therapists because most of them suck. I had a few before I landed on the right one.

 

[Susannah]

I agree with everybody else here. I would definately find another therapist, if you can. It's always difficult to find the "right person", I never found an "educated" one, but several people helped me, included my self. However, it's sometimes better to have a shitty one, than no one, so I would recommend you not to give up completely before having a new or a backup.

I wish you the best:)

 

[JimFord99]

I agree with everybody else here. I would definately find another therapist, if you can. It's always difficult to find the "right person", I never found an "educated" one, but several people helped me, included my self. However, it's sometimes better to have a shitty one, than no one, so I would recommend you not to give up completely before having a new or a backup.

I wish you the best:)

Is there actually such a thing as a good therapist? I have my doubts. As you said, you never found an educated one ...