Should I tell my therapist?

[XdragonsoulX]

Hi all, so last week I stood at the edge of a bridge wanting to jump into traffic (unreliable but was impulsive) ended up walking away to talk to a friend, and the cops came. They did a wellness check but decided I was well enough to take myself home and didn't file a report. I'm scared of being sectioned bc of it and I told my partner everything the next night bc my mind literally snapped. I have my therapy appointment tomorrow and my psych appointment the following day, he said he is gonna write what happened and to tell my therapist everything. If they know I attempted I'll definitely be sectioned. So this morning being afraid still of it i decided I have to try today earlier (with partial) and tonight (gonna try full) (since it didn't work and i had to work). My rope came undone at first and each time i would get close to blacking out I would wake back up. I've gotten my carotids before but now it's not working. I have a different rope than the one I was able to get my carotids with before, it's skinnier and a little more rough than my old rope but my old one was found by my partner and thrown away. Should I get another rope?

If i don't succeed, and end up having to face them tomorrow, should I tell them, and how do I tell them? If I get sectioned the rest of my life falls apart and I'm barely hanging on as it is….

 

[Soupster]

I cant tell you what to do, and what is best for your situation. Please don't rush into ctb simply because you have appointments snd might get sectioned. It's miserable to go through that process but certainly not life destroying.

Personally, I make it a policy to never lie to my doctors. I've found, generally, if you tell them the crisis has passed and you're not actively planning and have means, they are generally willing to work with you on an outpatient basis. Depending on the severity they may ask to see you more frequently (after my most recent intended time to ctb, I was urged to step up therapy to 3x/week and psych 1x/wk).

Whatever you choose, I hope you get some relief. I just encourage you to make sure you don't make a decision to ctb in a moment of crisis. The option will always be there if you need it.

 

[Grumble]

If i don't succeed, and end up having to face them tomorrow, should I tell them, and how do I tell them? If I get sectioned the rest of my life falls apart and I'm barely hanging on as it is….

I am accustomed to thinking about and talking about suicide in a casual manner, but your comments here are curious to me in that they take "casual" to a whole other level.

You've made an attempt already today and are looking at another attempt tonight. And yet you're also talking about tomorrow and concerned about whether to mention this to your therapist and about your life falling apart as the result of a sectioning... I mean, it sounds something along the lines of flipping a coin to determine your fate and being totally nonchalant about the outcome. Oh, maybe I'll be alive tomorrow, or maybe I won't. Whatever!

This is to say, if you feel seemingly so casual(?) about your fate, then you'd might as well give your therapist a chance tomorrow, no? If you choose life today, you can always choose death at a later date. But if you choose death, well, there are no second guesses or second chances.

As to what to tell your therapist, "The truth shall set you free" -- or in some cases will get you locked up for a time (but sometimes, that's what we need).

Personally, I make it a policy to never lie to my doctors. I've found, generally, if you tell them the crisis has passed and you're not actively planning and have means, they are generally willing to work with you on an outpatient basis. Depending on the severity they may ask to see you more frequently (after my most recent intended time to ctb, I was urged to step up therapy to 3x/week and psych 1x/wk).

^I would definitely echo this as well.

@XdragonsoulX -- I hope you can see yourself through the suffering you're enduring right now, and I wish you the best as can be under the circumstances.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

So update: therapist said I have bpd and wants to set up a game plan with dbt therapy for the months I won't see him until my insurance resets (January) :/ I see the psych tomorrow…

 

[Grumble]

So update: therapist said I have bpd and wants to set up a game plan with dbt therapy for the months I won't see him until my insurance resets (January) :/ I see the psych tomorrow…

DBT is a pretty effective treatment in alleviating BPD symptoms, so that does sound hopeful.

I'll be a little selfish in saying I am glad for the update because I was wondering how you made out with this.

Wishing you luck with your appointment tomorrow.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I'm still figuring out what exactly bpd is, along with what dbt is, idk scared about my psych tomorrow, was looking at some of the therapists that do dbt in my area and they don't have availability until October

 

[Grumble]

I'm still figuring out what exactly bpd is, along with what dbt is, idk scared about my psych tomorrow, was looking at some of the therapists that do dbt in my area and they don't have availability until October

If you are concerned about being able to get through to October, then I would take advantage of your appointment tomorrow and... go with the straight truth of the matter... I do believe that in order to give mental health professionals the best chance of helping, they need to know the straight, unabashed truth of the situation. This comes with the risk of sectioning, but sometimes the "s-word" suicide can get you somewhat fast-tracked through waiting lists... Even if no fast-tracking is available, the doctor might have some pointers as to how to get through the next several weeks. Not sure what your medication situation is, but that's another angle that the doctor can look at too.

If you only have limited time in the appointment, you could write out notes beforehand and use those to tell the doctor what you want to say, more quickly than if you were to just rely on memory. Notes might be a good idea regardless of time, but especially so if you only have 10 or 15 minutes with the doctor.

Borderline Personality Disorder, at its core, is an issue of emotional dysregulation: Instead of the person being in control of their emotions, their emotions are in control of the person. As it is a personality disorder, there is a lot more to it, but if you stare into the core of BPD, that's what you'd be looking at.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy has a lot of components that can be used all across the mental health spectrum, but it's highly touted specifically for BPD. Mainly, it goes towards regaining control of your emotions (reducing their intensity, coping mechanisms for handling distress), grounding yourself in the moment (aka meditation or mindfulness, co-existing with your thoughts rather than dwelling on them, experiencing your feelings without judging them), and techniques for maintaining healthier interpersonal relationships (reducing volatility in relationships, ways to handle and cope with conflict).

This is just a summary, and I may not be doing it proper justice. I have been through DBT treatments myself, but I have spent a lot more time with CBT than I have with DBT.

But hearing that this is your diagnosis and that you'll be able to do DBT soon, and that you've never been exposed to DBT before... I really do think this is cause for hope.