Have my SN. Have pretty much fasted for two days now and barely left bed. Anxiety and thoughts running wild. I'm so sad for my family and those that care about me. I really don't want to hurt them. I'm having second thoughts, not for myself but for others. Is CTB selfish?
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I understand your feeling.
Thinking about my family's love for me and my few caring friends also stop me from carrying out my own CTB plan.
That being said, I think while one should have take those factors into consideration, but one should be allowed to independently make one's own mind.
Wish you well, good luck.
Thinking about my family's love for me and my few caring friends also stop me from carrying out my own CTB plan.
That being said, I think while one should have take those factors into consideration, but one should be allowed to independently make one's own mind.
Wish you well, good luck.
Selfish in what sense? What kind of selfish?
I think the answer is a complex one that demonstrates the impact of choices, personal freedom and human connections and impact.
The choices we make impact others, whether it's from what they will see or find and how the other person will process and create meaning from it (which could potentially be no meaning). This will be more so when we have deeper human connections with others as it creates more importance.
Ultimately there's a challenge in the balance between the impact you'll make on others for leaving and reconciling how you feel about that when you leave (whether by choice or not); and the impact of the expectation that you have to stay to stop any negativity from that first one (depending upon context there could be a positive emotion e.g. free from suffering).
Often emotions and influences on decisions are often layered without a simple answer.
in my case I'm seeking a peace from the torment that makes any balance impossible.
I think the answer is a complex one that demonstrates the impact of choices, personal freedom and human connections and impact.
The choices we make impact others, whether it's from what they will see or find and how the other person will process and create meaning from it (which could potentially be no meaning). This will be more so when we have deeper human connections with others as it creates more importance.
Ultimately there's a challenge in the balance between the impact you'll make on others for leaving and reconciling how you feel about that when you leave (whether by choice or not); and the impact of the expectation that you have to stay to stop any negativity from that first one (depending upon context there could be a positive emotion e.g. free from suffering).
Often emotions and influences on decisions are often layered without a simple answer.
in my case I'm seeking a peace from the torment that makes any balance impossible.
I can completely understand your wish not to hurt the people that care about you. I'm sure that everyone can.
It's such a tough one isn't it? Seeing as we cannot feel another's pain, let alone predict how much pain they will feel in response to a suicide. Ideally, we don't want to cause pain to anyone we care about.
Still- what about our needs and our pain? Isn't it also selfish of someone to expect you to keep living a life you simply cannot tolerate because they will miss you once you're gone?
Personally, I don't see suicide as selfish. I think it's terribly tragic definitely. I think- once a person has gotten to the stage they are willing to undergo such a frightening and possibly risky thing, they have proven that their pain is so intense that it outweighs everything else.
I'm so sad for you and I totally understand your dilemma. I've always felt that I couldn't do it while my Dad is still alive. Honestly, I'm not sure I have the courage to do it after he's gone, although the desire to do it just seems to be growing stronger and stronger. I wish you well in whatever you decide.
It's such a tough one isn't it? Seeing as we cannot feel another's pain, let alone predict how much pain they will feel in response to a suicide. Ideally, we don't want to cause pain to anyone we care about.
Still- what about our needs and our pain? Isn't it also selfish of someone to expect you to keep living a life you simply cannot tolerate because they will miss you once you're gone?
Personally, I don't see suicide as selfish. I think it's terribly tragic definitely. I think- once a person has gotten to the stage they are willing to undergo such a frightening and possibly risky thing, they have proven that their pain is so intense that it outweighs everything else.
I'm so sad for you and I totally understand your dilemma. I've always felt that I couldn't do it while my Dad is still alive. Honestly, I'm not sure I have the courage to do it after he's gone, although the desire to do it just seems to be growing stronger and stronger. I wish you well in whatever you decide.
Euthanza
Self Righteous Suicide
- Jun 9, 2022
- 1,447
Death is inevitable, every death sentence came with birth, both can be seen as legitimate sources of suffering; so it's clear not suicide that causes suffering, suicide stop the suffering earlier; One could die by homicide, cancer or accident, it can be much more painful to endure for both side of the interaction.
One should not suffer more than s/he can hold, it's up to individual judgement about their own life and death. If people tell you that they're suffering because of your "decision to die without harming others", then they're the selfish ones; they don't understand pain neither respect your bodily autonomy nor your basic human's right.
One should not suffer more than s/he can hold, it's up to individual judgement about their own life and death. If people tell you that they're suffering because of your "decision to die without harming others", then they're the selfish ones; they don't understand pain neither respect your bodily autonomy nor your basic human's right.
DemonicAngel
Another brick in the wall.
- Jan 21, 2021
- 78
I'm going to tell you about a conversation I had with my big brother. We are very, very close. I had told him I felt as though I didn't want to be here anymore but I didn't want to hurt him. I brought up that people say it's a selfish act. He said "isn't it selfish to want someone to stick around no matter what kinda pain their in, because it makes you happy?" He told me if I was really that miserable what right did he or anyone have trying to make me stick around. At the end of the conversation he said " Now I'm not being the bullies you had in school and telling you to do it. I'm just saying if you did I wouldn't be angry. Yes, I would miss you but I would find peace knowing you are not hurting anymore." Then I hugged him. He's 11 yrs older than I am and my other brother is 13 yrs older. They helped raise me because my parents only cared about drugs and booze. Anyways that was just another viewpoint I wanted to share with you.
freevoid
Student
- Jul 11, 2022
- 137
I have the same viewpoint. Isn't expecting me, someone with chronic health problems my entire life, to keep existing just for the sake of others feelings psychotically selfish? Like my parents, the same people who wouldnt keep a dog alive if it was run over by a truck because it's inhumane, can't bear the thought of me killing myself even though they know I'm in constant misery. I just can't stomach the cognitive dissonance. Which is why when I finally pass, I will have little guilt for them. Anyone who wouldn't swap lives with me doesn't get to judge my autonomy.
Againstthewind
Victory
- Jul 10, 2022
- 217
I have heard this so many times before 'think about what this will do to x', 'how do you think x will cope?' 'what pain this will bring to x'.
What about my pain?
This is a manipulative way for someone to make you feel bad (like we dont feel terrible already) for even thinking about ctb, in hope it will scare you out of it (MH workers do the same, because they dont have any other skill to help you)
Maybe we should all continue our pain to please everyone, yeah that sounds like a good idea. No.
Our pain has nothing to do with no one else, if they cared, they'd help, not guilt trip you in some narcissistic way.
Follow your heart to what you feel gives you peace
What about my pain?
This is a manipulative way for someone to make you feel bad (like we dont feel terrible already) for even thinking about ctb, in hope it will scare you out of it (MH workers do the same, because they dont have any other skill to help you)
Maybe we should all continue our pain to please everyone, yeah that sounds like a good idea. No.
Our pain has nothing to do with no one else, if they cared, they'd help, not guilt trip you in some narcissistic way.
Follow your heart to what you feel gives you peace
befree
Time to do more enjoyable things _____Goodbye_____
- Mar 22, 2022
- 2,585
No, suicide is not selfish, but a human right. It´s your life and your suffering.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,250
Only you know what you should do with your life and nobody else should have any say in it. I could never stay alive only for the sake of others and it would be selfish of them to expect me to. Suicide could never be selfish as living is not an obligation. None of us asked to be here in the first place. Of course I understand that losing someone is painful for those left behind, but after all grief and loss are inevitable in life. To me it is cruel expecting someone to suffer against their wishes until they die from old age.
Noone can answer this uestion except you....
Is there hope for you to be happy in the future ? yes or no ?
Is there hope for you to be happy in the future ? yes or no ?
Isn't that the toughest question of all? I can tell you right now my life is not happy. I've tried to change that and failed many times. I'd like a happy life I'm just not sure how possible that is for me. I seem to only make my problems worse and my life situation more miserable as time goes on. Undiagnosed BPD. Seems impossible to let myself be happy.
Well for some, e.g those that suffer from physical/chronic pain progressive diseases, the answer is really easy.
I understand that the mental diseases and its huge spectrum is a more complicated situation where the answer is not that clear.
So why don't you get it diagnosed, your BPD i mean.
Correct. And mental illness isn't linear, it's fluid. Ups and downs. So when you're at a low it's hard to remember any other time. But then are the lows worth it? I have discussed it with therapist. She agrees. I do have an appointment for clinical diagnosis.
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