Hey,
I'm at my lowest right now and I've been like this for quite some time. There are reasons for that and I can't change anything about it. I've been wanting to jump off this bridge since 2017. I haven't been able to do that but the last time I was there was a couple of months ago. Since then a lot has happend and also something that completly broke me. I won't go into detail about what it was. I kinda counted on the fact that I wouldn't be alive anymore after the 6th of August. I really don't have a reason except my fear of failure not to try right now.
If I did it right now I would walk there in daylight and jump. Its about 49 meters or less on grass and solid pavement. Gonna try to hit the pavement with my head. I already practiced my jumping position etc... but I've never been physically up there because it's a highway. If I did go up there the police would be there in less than 10 minutes. Maybe 5. I would have to be really really fast and it would be my only shot at doing it. If I failed I would definetly be sectioned again and I don't ever want to go back there again.
Is it worth risking it now? It doesn't really make a difference when I will do it as long as it is before the 6th of August. I'm running out of time and patience here....,not knowing what to do.
I'm at my lowest right now and I've been like this for quite some time. There are reasons for that and I can't change anything about it. I've been wanting to jump off this bridge since 2017. I haven't been able to do that but the last time I was there was a couple of months ago. Since then a lot has happend and also something that completly broke me. I won't go into detail about what it was. I kinda counted on the fact that I wouldn't be alive anymore after the 6th of August. I really don't have a reason except my fear of failure not to try right now.
If I did it right now I would walk there in daylight and jump. Its about 49 meters or less on grass and solid pavement. Gonna try to hit the pavement with my head. I already practiced my jumping position etc... but I've never been physically up there because it's a highway. If I did go up there the police would be there in less than 10 minutes. Maybe 5. I would have to be really really fast and it would be my only shot at doing it. If I failed I would definetly be sectioned again and I don't ever want to go back there again.
Is it worth risking it now? It doesn't really make a difference when I will do it as long as it is before the 6th of August. I'm running out of time and patience here....,not knowing what to do.
