should i just do it already?

[worthless123]

i already have zero real life friends and a few months ago all my accounts got perma banned from reddit and every time i make a new account it just gets banned again within a few days. i have never felt so alone in my entire life and so unmotivated to do anything. my brain is fucking fried from all the weed and drugs i used to do and i highkey think im dyslexic now. i mix up words in my own head when im reading and speaking. i think at a much slower rate than when i was 13 and i am legit dumber now as a fully grown adult then when i was a preteen. i havent had an original thought or made a unique observation or thought provoking comment about anything in years. i have crippling anxiety and body dysmorphia and believe it or not i used to be athletic but thats impossible for me now as i am so ashamed of how i look i cant possibly go to the gym full of influencers and attractive people judging me. im just getting fatter now. im not even good at video games anymore. there are things i would like to do but my physical limitations stop me from doing anything. i dont enjoy music or movies anymore. im too ashamed to even open social media and see how well everyone from high school is doing now. i cant even go on reddit to try and find other broken people like me because all the subs for people like me have minimum karma counts and my new accounts get banned instantly. i dont know what to do anymore and i think i should just ctb.

 

[DarkDg21]

I feel for you and relate 100%
I'm done with life.

 

[worthless123]

I feel for you and relate 100%
I'm done with life.

right, feels like im just delaying the inevitable at this point.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Deciding to CTB is probably the hardest decision that you'll ever make in your life, and rightfully so. Make sure you think it through, weigh the pros and cons, and make the best decision you can for you. No one else should be able to tell you what is right for you, or when the time is right for you. It's just something we all have to figure out for ourselves. Good luck.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing here in this world certainly is something so awful and it does sound tiring being trapped in that situation, it's really understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering that this existence brings but anyway I wish you the best.