Discussion Should I end things or hold out for a brighter future?

[ArmadilloGoingInsane]

So, let me start off by saying that I'm not trying to start arguments by posting this thread. That being said, though, I've gotten mixed responses from people irl but I'm hoping you'll all be civil enough to discuss this without this turning into a dumpsterfire of a thread. Just consider this a disclaimer.

See, I can't bare the thought of living in this world as is-- wealth inequality, soul-sucking jobs, racism, climate change, etc. seem insurmountable challenges for humans to overcome. But, I also realize that humanity has, is, and probably will continue to progress forward exponentially. Many of the utopian ideals of fifty years ago are seemingly within reach, specifically within the technological realm. AI's growing, we have android citizenship, phones and computers are getting more efficient year by year, space travel's less expensive, and so on.

So, now I have this issue of which future's more plausible/if either one's worth waiting for. Suicide's always an option, of course; life isn't. If I take my life now, I'll be throwing away a future that would allow me to live out my ideal life (if I even have one that I want). If I don't, then I'm not guaranteed I'll get to have that life (that may or may not even exist to begin with), and I'll have waited my time suffering. I know I don't want the life I'm most likely to continue to lead until my death's brought about by causes that aren't self-inflicted: working a shitty job, not caring enough to improve my life, having people only care about me because it makes them feel better, etc. However, I would be willing to lead a life like that for now if it means I could (or might) live a more fulfilling life later.

What should I do? Should I be an optimist or pessimist? Is there a life that could be fulfilling for me if I waited? What do, internet? What do?

 

[Ghosted]

Unfortunately, I don't have an definitive answer for you.

If I was in your position, I would make a pros and cons list and a list of your goals. For me, the act of writing helps settle my thoughts.

In the end, only you can make the decision to commit suicide and you have my love and support no matter what you choose.

 

[ArmadilloGoingInsane]

Unfortunately, I don't have an definitive answer for you.

If I was in your position, I would make a pros and cons list and a list of your goals. For me, the act of writing helps settle my thoughts.

In the end, only you can make the decision to commit suicide and you have my love and support no matter what you choose.

Thanks for the suggestion. This could be the push or pull I need to stop my teetering on this metaphorical edge.

 

[Ghosted]

You don't have to answer, but have you tried CBT? I found it really useful after the accident. I have PTSD and a mild, complex traumatic brain injury. Your milage may vary.

 

[ArmadilloGoingInsane]

You don't have to answer, but have you tried CBT? I found it really useful after the accident. I have PTSD and a mild, complex traumatic brain injury. Your milage may vary.

Yes I have. I planned to OD and got interrupted, and I've tried with a noose.

Sorry to hear about your injuries. Didn't go so well, huh?

 

[MissNietzsche]

Are you male or female? Also, how old are you?

 

[color_me_gone]

@ArmadilloGoingInsane
I think you misread what @Ghosted wrote.
He didn't say CTB, but rather CBT, which stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
I know it is an easy mistake to make, done it myself many times.
You can google CBT to find out what it is.

 

[Ghosted]

Sorry you were interrupted if death was truly what you wanted. But I'm glad to have at least made your acquaintance.

You brought up some interesting questions that I need to answer before I check out.

 

[ArmadilloGoingInsane]

Are you male or female? Also, how old are you?

Don't really feel comfortable sharing that info. I'm willing to admit I'm college aged, though.

@ArmadilloGoingInsane
I think you misread what @Ghosted wrote.
He didn't say CTB, but rather CBT, which stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
I know it is an easy mistake to make, done it myself many times.
You can google CBT to find out what it is.

Valid. I have gotten CBT, though.

Sorry you were interrupted if death was truly what you wanted. But I'm glad to have at least made your acquaintance.

You brought up some interesting questions that I need to answer before I check out.

You too. Thanks for the advice. Hope you do what makes you happy.

 

[MissNietzsche]

Don't really feel comfortable sharing that info. I'm willing to admit I'm college aged, though.

Valid. I have gotten CBT, though.

Gender matters because if you're a girl, you can more easily marry someone who makes significantly more than you do AKA not having to work a poopy job forever

 

[ArmadilloGoingInsane]

Gender matters because if you're a girl, you can more easily marry someone who makes significantly more than you do AKA not having to work a poopy job forever

I see. I'm bi, so gender wouldn't be an issue though. But, I don't see myself being happy with another person, really. Too much effort/trial and error.

 

[Sweet emotion]

So, let me start off by saying that I'm not trying to start arguments by posting this thread. That being said, though, I've gotten mixed responses from people irl but I'm hoping you'll all be civil enough to discuss this without this turning into a dumpsterfire of a thread. Just consider this a disclaimer.

See, I can't bare the thought of living in this world as is-- wealth inequality, soul-sucking jobs, racism, climate change, etc. seem insurmountable challenges for humans to overcome. But, I also realize that humanity has, is, and probably will continue to progress forward exponentially. Many of the utopian ideals of fifty years ago are seemingly within reach, specifically within the technological realm. AI's growing, we have android citizenship, phones and computers are getting more efficient year by year, space travel's less expensive, and so on.

So, now I have this issue of which future's more plausible/if either one's worth waiting for. Suicide's always an option, of course; life isn't. If I take my life now, I'll be throwing away a future that would allow me to live out my ideal life (if I even have one that I want). If I don't, then I'm not guaranteed I'll get to have that life (that may or may not even exist to begin with), and I'll have waited my time suffering. I know I don't want the life I'm most likely to continue to lead until my death's brought about by causes that aren't self-inflicted: working a shitty job, not caring enough to improve my life, having people only care about me because it makes them feel better, etc. However, I would be willing to lead a life like that for now if it means I could (or might) live a more fulfilling life later.

What should I do? Should I be an optimist or pessimist? Is there a life that could be fulfilling for me if I waited? What do, internet? What do?

This is a question that we cannot answer for you unfortunately. We don't know what the future holds. Sure there could be a fulfilling life for you if you hold off but you're going to have to battle what you're dealing with now to find out. What do you consider a fulsilling life? And I have to say things aren't going to change if you don't make a change. If you don't care enough to improve your life how do you expect things to imorove? For example. I'm physically sick. I will never be able to get married, not with what I have. But say I was healthy and wanted to meet a man. I'd have to leave the house to do that. I can't sit on the couch and hope the door bell rings and it's the man of my dreams. Do you know what I mean?

Gender matters because if you're a girl, you can more easily marry someone who makes significantly more than you do AKA not having to work a poopy job forever

Yeah but a woman should always be self sufficient because God forbid things go south. Women need to be really independent these days.

 

[zherhk]

'See, I can't bare the thought of living in this world as is-- wealth inequality, soul-sucking jobs, racism, climate change, etc. seem'
This stuff isn't your fault and doesn't concern what you are.
They are out of your control in general as you can't make a change for everybody in the planet but you can decide for yourself.
Wealth inequality, shitty jobs etc.. are things where you can work your ass to avoid.

 

[forever21]

As far as I saw it, all people know about wealth inequality, soul-sucking jobs, racism, climate change, etc and other bad things that happen like rape, murder, crime. It depends if it something which you think about all the time and if it doesn't let you life your life normally. What I mean is: I think almost everyday that life is fucked. People are starving, get raped etc. And it is impacting the quality of my life. I can't life with me knowing this. But the people around me don't seem to bother. When they read or hear about something bad happening, they just forget it after the conversation or don't think about it.
Maybe if it is heavily impacting you and you think about it all the time You should try therapy if this is possible. Afterwards if you're still struggling, you can still choose to end your life.

 

[XoXoNae]

Please hold out!!

 

[Sensei]

So, let me start off by saying that I'm not trying to start arguments by posting this thread. That being said, though, I've gotten mixed responses from people irl but I'm hoping you'll all be civil enough to discuss this without this turning into a dumpsterfire of a thread. Just consider this a disclaimer.

See, I can't bare the thought of living in this world as is-- wealth inequality, soul-sucking jobs, racism, climate change, etc. seem insurmountable challenges for humans to overcome. But, I also realize that humanity has, is, and probably will continue to progress forward exponentially. Many of the utopian ideals of fifty years ago are seemingly within reach, specifically within the technological realm. AI's growing, we have android citizenship, phones and computers are getting more efficient year by year, space travel's less expensive, and so on.

So, now I have this issue of which future's more plausible/if either one's worth waiting for. Suicide's always an option, of course; life isn't. If I take my life now, I'll be throwing away a future that would allow me to live out my ideal life (if I even have one that I want). If I don't, then I'm not guaranteed I'll get to have that life (that may or may not even exist to begin with), and I'll have waited my time suffering. I know I don't want the life I'm most likely to continue to lead until my death's brought about by causes that aren't self-inflicted: working a shitty job, not caring enough to improve my life, having people only care about me because it makes them feel better, etc. However, I would be willing to lead a life like that for now if it means I could (or might) live a more fulfilling life later.

What should I do? Should I be an optimist or pessimist? Is there a life that could be fulfilling for me if I waited? What do, internet? What do?

The very fact that you ask the question suggests that you aren't really ready to leave just yet.

 

[XoXoNae]

That's exactly why I said that

 

[Reyki6667]

Look at what you can do with your current abilities for now and what ca' be done later that may do you, and only you good.
if things can get done, just mive forward, and that until you cant move anymore.
I nothing can really be done.... Well you already kniw your answers.
and i personally don't know you and your skills to see what can ve done and back you up.
see ya.

 

[Ark]

My answer will not be the most popular but I will say it anyway.

If you have hope of living a happy or fulfilling life you need to explore that possibility. I spent a very long time trying to find any possible way to see hope in my future. If I found any chance at all I would have taken a shot at it. This life is a one and done, and I believe if you can find a way to enjoy this existence it would be a waste not to at least try.

I know this makes me seem like a hypocrite as my time is getting very close. But, I tried and tried to find even a sliver of hope before I fully made my decision.

No matter what I hope you find the peace you deserve.

 

[XXX]

You are young. I think you should try to find a meaningful way to do something about those things before you give up. You can't fix the whole world but there is a chance that you find one thing, one way, to fight for - and then life is worth living. When you are older and see how your life has turned out, you can make a realistic assessment as to if you have anything to contribute.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

You should bloody well fight with everything you've got. If there is any question, any question at all then you are not in a hopeless situation and should live. Always choose optimism if you have the choice.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I mean I wouldn't put any stakes in Utopias or 'the game', i.e. politics ever cuanging, but then again, if that's something you see a light in, which gives you a reason not to end it yet.. it's weird when you get to the bottom, the most unexpected of things suddenly appear as a reason to live.

Also it seems to me a law of life that there always comes a time where you've outgrown your old problems and look back in amazement at what you thought were unsolvable problems.