![Barteljaap](/data/avatars/l/25/25476.jpg?1610955844)
Barteljaap
Member
- Jan 17, 2021
- 78
I joined this forum 2 days ago because I felt I was very close to doing it. My hope was to pull it off at the latest by the end of this month. I've just had an idea which involves confronting someone and trying to work something out with them (this isn't romantically/sexually related). I don't think I stand to gain too much from this. At best this could be a short-term win with vague long-term implications, it's not something that's going to turn my life around. And this confrontation could go either way really, I might end up not gaining anything. But even if I fail it'll force me to delay CTBing at least a couple of months, because doing it shortly after a potentially fiery argument with someone wouldn't be fair on them.
At this stage, death seems like the easier option. There's nothing left to look forward to. I have very low energy, everyday it takes me 2-3 hours to get out of bed after waking up, and I often have to fight sleep during the day. I've no human companionship and everything feels empty. But SI is pushing me to do this one last thing instead of preparing for the end. It's really annoying that this last thing rules out CTB for another few months. As I said, I doubt this thing will help me too much so the next few months will probably be hell just like the last few were. What should I do?
At this stage, death seems like the easier option. There's nothing left to look forward to. I have very low energy, everyday it takes me 2-3 hours to get out of bed after waking up, and I often have to fight sleep during the day. I've no human companionship and everything feels empty. But SI is pushing me to do this one last thing instead of preparing for the end. It's really annoying that this last thing rules out CTB for another few months. As I said, I doubt this thing will help me too much so the next few months will probably be hell just like the last few were. What should I do?